Oh Steve, I am sorry that you are feeling down.
The others have said it all really, especially Bazza.
Only people who have gone through what you lot have experienced can really understand what it is like.
Others like me, wives,partners, we can only see what is on the outside or what you tell us.
I know us women try our best to be supportive of our men, but there is only so much we can do, so many times we can say a thing, such as" I love you no matter what" .
You have a 5k run planned so you have two options.
You drop out because you are not up to it, and no shame in that after all you've been through, or...
you start those extended walks and short jogs to try and get a little fitter. Who knows, the endorphins released when you exercise may well help with the way you feel at the moment. Walk the bloody race if you need to!!!
Whatever else you do, never assume that we don't care because it isn't true.
Please Steve, if you really are low have a word with the doc and see what he/she suggests.
If there isn't any work at present, well there will be at some stage.
Set yourself a target, no matter how small, and do it. A walk round the block whether you feel like it or not, and build from that.
Best wishes friend to you and the missus.
Edited by member 14 Jul 2015 at 22:44
| Reason: Not specified
We can't control the winds - but we can adjust our sails |
User
Hi Steve
I can't add anything to what's been said but I'm thinking of you at this difficult time
Arthur
User
Steve
You've had a tough time, no mistake about it, it's hardly surprising you feel like this. So much has changed in the last year and it's a heck of a lot to deal with. There is some great advice here from people who truly know what it is like. Do yourself a favour Steve and go and see your GP for help, if you do you will soon be on the other side of this. Indomagree with Bazza about acceptance, I'm sure that's really important and I'm also sure that it comes at different times for all of us. You'll be your old self again, never fear.
Logs of love
Allison
User
Good to see you posting again Steve, I have noticed that you have been quiet for a while, but supporting others with kind words and comments on their threads.
I expect that all of us on this site feel like you do at times, have been through it or are going through it. A cancer diadnosis is so frightening, what we all dread and is so devastating. As a wife it has changed me considerably and some days I feel like you do too. I am more scared of everything, worry about every symptom my family or I get and fear the worst all the time. What Bazza has said really rings true with me too.
I try to be positive and keep my worries hidden, very few people know that my OH has this disease as we fear for our young children finding out, so I only have this forum to share my worries with, and find it so useful.
I hope that you will find the comments made today of use to you. This is a normal reaction and maybe your GP can help you. Show him your post. It may be easier than explaining how you feel.
let us know what he says, it will help me and others.
Alison
User
Steve,
You are not alone. I think I have had a similar experience to you.
So far I've had 9 months of HT (with 37 RT fractions in January / February).
I have felt really bad emotionally, etc. - my GP put me on a low dose of Citalopram and it helped. I was also offered Cognitive Behaviour Therapy (CBT) by the Oncology Centre that treated me. I feel much better now so I would recommend seeing your GP and also seeing if you can get a course of CBT with a one to one therapist.
There's no need to suffer (that what I was told by my GP) - so please get some assistance.
I did and I found that CBT is very good - but you have to stick with it.
Martyn
Edited by member 14 Jul 2015 at 23:17
| Reason: Not specified
User
hi steve and good morning its another day.
you posted re your lack of work, must be difficult being self employed with that extra pressure, have been in that dark hole years ago, and I know I can harp on about it but my running/excercise gave me a goal each day.
at the moment I set myself small targets
10k done and dusted
holiday to see grandkids in august
docetaxel chemo in september
thats as far as I am thinking
I think now I have fully accepted how I am, my mind and body seem more in tune, thats not to say I dont have a good cry now and again
for me is only been 4-5 months, I hope to still be posting in 4-5 years
bazza's post makes alot of sense
find it hard to put into words how much I want to offer my support
do what you can dont dwell on what you cant
nidge
run long and prosper
'pooh how do you spell love'
'piglet you dont spell love -you just feel it' |
User
Hi Steve,
Sorry to hear you are feeling so low but happy to see that you are reaching out for any help you need. Also as a wife pretty new to all of this I can't comprehend how this is affecting you but just want to say to keep posting and all your friends are here for you.
Trish x
User
Steve, it does get better. I was self employed and had to give it up which was tough. I did have the advantage after medic check of benifit office being keen to keep me off work so had basic payment - perhaps unlike today.
Is life the same, no and it never will be for me but building a different life although hard going at times is rewarding and is built from foundations of what is really important to you. 10 years on it still gets to me but I've learned rather than try to block those thoughts I just let them come and dismiss them by thinking of the positive changes the different life has brought that I might not have otjerwise made.
Hang in there
Ray
User
Steve,
I found that the talking therapy (CBT in my case) did make things worse to start with, because you are dealing with a lot of sensitive issues.
But after about 5 or 6 sessions it all started to make a lot of sense to me and my mood has improved significantly. In fact I wish I'd had CBT years ago! I have had 9 sessions so far and expect to have 12 - 18 in total.
Maybe some CBT would be good for you?
Martyn
User
Dear Steve
I am glad to hear that you have been to the GP and they have taken some action to address the depression problem.
I have no experience in this matter, but if you are still feeling so low, which you clearly are, I would expect that things should be taken a stage further. Is there someone higher up than a GP who you could be referred to, like a Consultant for this type of problem. There must be.
Perhaps you could ask the GP about this next visit. Always best to get on the waiting list ASAP!
Stay strong, you are a valued member of the forum and your family need you, and you will get through this and get back to enjoying life.
Alison
User
Martyn's post about CBT is very pertinent. It is proven throughout the world to be as effective as anti-depressants in many instances. I have had several sessions over 20 yrs , and whilst they haven't really helped with panic disorder , they do help with learning and understanding and modifying thought patterns. It's easy to get in a rut of negative thinking , and Steve I am right this instance going thru much the same as you , where everybody is pleading with me to be positive but I feel so overwhelmed.
Alison the mental health services in this country are even more over-burdened than the physical health ones to be honest. Doctors throw anti-depressants at you but sometimes just don't have the time to follow up properly. It can often take years of issues before you are forwarded to CBT and then a psychiatrist. Sadly people with bipolar are rarely diagnosed for a very long time after illness starts ( 10 yrs or more ).
All the advice has been great Steve and I'm glad you have seen your doctor and he has upped the dose. I know anti - d"s can be very effective in the right circumstances. I'm just hoping you can at least reach a "comfortable " place in the very near future.
Chris and Elaine
User
Tell the doctor all your feelings Steve, that is what he is there for and you have paid for.
This is important.
Alison
User
Steve,
If you have no luck with your GP you might want to find out if the oncology centre that treated you has any behavioural oncologists.
I did not get CBT through my GP. I went to the Oncology Health Centre (drop in centre) at the hospital where I had RT. They talked to me and within a few weeks offered me a CBT course. They told me if I tried to get this through my GP would take upwards of 9 months.
The therapists there are experts in helping people with cancer - because that is their focus.
If you could find a facility like this near you it might be good to talk to them?
Martyn
User
Hi Steve
Yes - continue to strike whilst the iron is hot and phone them tomorrow.
Keeping busy at appointments will help you to get through this and give you a purpose.
Might some voluntary work help to take your mind off things? It will also be a way to meet other people. You seem like a sociable person and getting out and about may be a tonic for you.
Alison
Edited by member 16 Jul 2015 at 20:51
| Reason: Not specified
User
Steve
The doctor 'didn't have time'. That's exactly what you need. Did anyone go with you? For your next appointment, try and have all questions written down and an accomplice will help ensure that you don't leave before every issue that can be sorted is.
paul
Stay Calm And Carry On. |
User
As I said , it's awful for doctors as well as patients. Just no time. Whether I'm a man or not I ended up broken down in tears many times. Just broken. A Gud dr will take notice and take action. Take your loving wife and insist ( even if it takes 3 weeks ) on a double appt Steve. You must try to stick to the same dr or change if you don't like him her. They need to know you. Bother them. It's their job.
I hope this new dose kicks in for you. No shame. Open your heart offline if you can . Chris
User
Good to hear that you are feeling a little better Steve.
Now get the walking shoes on and get out in the sunshine.
If the doctor only works certain days and he is the one you want to see then make that appointment asap, as for a double you'll probably have to wait a while.
And Steve, you're already doing your bit under difficult circumstances so stop beating yourself up.
You are handing out the PCA info and talking to people. Then the race and the article. They all mount up.
As far as voluntary work goes, well you could still apply. I think there are things like CRB checks etc so that takes time too and once you are accepted you won't have to keep going through it.
They'll realise that you need to be available for work, it's not a contract situation is it, so I'm sure any charity will appreciate anything you can give them as and when you can.
Edited by member 18 Jul 2015 at 13:02
| Reason: Not specified
We can't control the winds - but we can adjust our sails |
User
And meeting people in a voluntary setting may lead to paid work.
As an example my mum suffers from depression quite badly, for different reasons. She started helping in a charity shop and met lovely new friends. This lead to her looking after a dog whilst friend on holiday. walking the dog round park she met other dog walkers. Now she exercises with one of them and word has got round she will look after dogs whilst people are away. Hence now she looks after a dog all summer for almost 3 months and this is great company for her and a small income too.
You never know what might happen if you get out there. will be more positive than staying at home!
good luck
Alison
User
Hi Steve
Glad to hear your a bit better and had a visit from your grandson which helped. Try to be as positive as you can, we're all here to encourage you and we want to get you 'over the line' so to speak. You probably know but exercise helps the mind as well as the body so with the weather being pretty good lately try to get out if you're not doing that already. Ref volunteering my wife and I helped at a local Foodbank until it moved (my wife uses a wheelchair and couldn't get up the stairs!!), it was very rewarding but we did have to have CRB checks before we started. They also do food collections in our local supermarkets and are always glad of help for an hour or two.
Hope the work situation improves asap.
Take care, Arthur
User
Originally Posted by: Online Community MemberHi Steve,
I'm sorry to hear that you still have the black dog visiting.
I was in that situation a couple of months back, I ended up loosing my composure in the GP's office when asked how was I?
Long story short, I was put onto a course of 'happy pills' which have lifted me out of that large dark hole.
If you feel able I'd suggest approaching your GP with a view to treating the mental side of this horrible disease.
All the best mate,
Kevin
Steve, I just had to reply to your post, and say that I hope your feeling a lot better now.
You were one of those that replied to my very fist post on this forum, which did me the power of good.
I often re read them in my times of darkness, and they still do help, so I hope in some small way this will remind you and help you as it did me.
CHIN UP CHAP YOU STILL HAVE A FUTURE !
All the very best
User
as the beatles song goes
The long and winding road
That leads to your door
Will never disappear
I've seen that road before
It always leads me here
Lead me to you door
The wild and windy night
That the rain washed away
Has left a pool of tears
Crying for the day
Why leave me standing here
Let me know the way
Many times I've been alone
And many times I've cried
Any way you'll never know
The many ways I've tried
But still they lead me back
To the long winding road
You left me standing here
A long long time ago
Don't leave me waiting here
Lead me to your door
But still they lead me back
To the long winding road
You left me standing here
A long long time ago
Don't keep me waiting here
Lead me to your door
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
nidge
run long and prosper
'pooh how do you spell love'
'piglet you dont spell love -you just feel it' |
User
Hello Steve
I'm really sorry to hear yr bad news.
I do hope everything is ok, do you know why they want to keep you in.
I'm sure your new employer will be sympathetic and patient
I'm gunning for you and hope everything goes ok
Paul
User
Hello Steve
Sorry to hear the old bugbear is back
Wishing you a speedy recovery
Best Wishes
Sandra
We can't control the winds - but we can adjust our sails |
User
Hi Steve
Sorry to hear you find your self in a bad place again.
It is easy for me to say but please don't give in.
Just wanted to say something to try and encourage you to be positive.
Hope all is sorted ASAP.
User
Hi Steve
I have been away and no internet for a while, let us know how you are when you can.
As others have said, try not to get set back, you have done so well so far.
Alison
User
Hang on in there Steve, don't give up, you've come a long way. We're all here to "help you over the line"
Arthur
User
Sorry to hear that you are having further problems Steve - hopefully you will be back home soon enough. More jobs will come along, I am sure - better for you to get well than to die on a job!
"Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards." Soren Kierkegaard
|
User
Hi Steve,
Sorry to hear this news,
Sorry also to hear about job loss work is important
Good luck Barry
User
morning all
and hi steve, must be maddening for you hope all goes well with recovery and work, understand why you think giving up would be the easy option, none of us wanted this problem but adding money worries and extra health sues doesn't bear thinking about
all the best
nidge
run long and prosper
'pooh how do you spell love'
'piglet you dont spell love -you just feel it' |
User
Sorry to hear of your further problem Steve keep going mate all the best Andy
User
Steve
Best wishes from El and I as ever. Sorry to hear you are back inside so to speak. I only hope you recover soon and are back home working again. Hope to hear from you soon x
User
There you go Steve a silver lining ...hold onto that
Mo
User
hi steve
one worry ticked off the list
nidge
run long and prosper
'pooh how do you spell love'
'piglet you dont spell love -you just feel it' |
User
Hi Steve
Great news on the PSA front so one less thing to worry about, are you still on hormones, if so could the lack of testosterone be contributing to your problems?.
Take care
Roy
User
Excellent, Steve - onwards and upwards, well, appart from your PSA count!!!
Paul
Stay Calm And Carry On. |
User
Great news Steve. It's good to see your psa so low.
I'm very happy for you.
Paul
Edited by member 26 Aug 2015 at 13:37
| Reason: Not specified
User
Great PSA result Steve. Looking forward to hearing more good news from you.
Best wishes, Arthur
User
Excellent news on the PSA front Steve.
Hope they sort that heart out PDQ.
Thinking of you while you sit in the loo typing away.
We have a grandson who disappeared (and still does) into the bathroom the minute he got home from school/college and now work.
He would be in there so long I would be concerned (our daughter had colo rectal cancer) although nobody else seemed bothered.
It turned out that sitting on the loo was where the highest wifi signal could be obtained!!!
We can't control the winds - but we can adjust our sails |
User
Well, your GP was playing safe ans so he should.
We'd all be up in arms if we found out that you'd had pain, he told you not to worry and you popped your clogs now wouldn't we. !
I know it's frustrating but as has been proved by the consultant's comments - something isn't quite right.
Hopefully the new meds will help sort you out. Fingers crossed anyway.
All the best Steve - and WELCOME HOME!!
We can't control the winds - but we can adjust our sails |
User
Steve love the news about the PSA by the way I had a heart attack back in 98 had a stent fitted and a ballon inflation in another artery been all good since then ,
good luck with yours Steve
Barry
User
Hi Steve
I've read through your posts this evening. It's hardly surprising you feel tired! Being tired is not just a result of physical exhaustion, but of mental exhaustion too. You've had cancer. You've had heart attacks. It's not surprising you're depressed, and it's not surprising you're tired. I feel tired for you.
Stop beating yourself up. Give yourself some recovery time. Spend some time trying to think of other ways you can make some money from your photography without the high pressure of weddings. Last thing you need at the moment is a bridezilla.
A few years ago, I had a few episodes of extreme panic attacks. One of my friends said that the best way to overcome anxiety in any form is to sit on the floor with your back against a wall. Look around you. Say out loud 5 things you can see, 4 things you can hear, 3 things you can touch 2 things you can smell and one thing you can taste. Take a deep breath between each one. It works for me.
I don't know you, and I don't presume to know how you feel, but I can imagine how I would feel if I had to deal with what you have had to deal with. And I imagine I would feel depressed, tired, fed up, worried and frightened.
One thing I have learned in the past few months is that there is no normal recovery time. Just normal for you.
Louise x
User
Steve
Just to say we are thinking of you love Chris and Dawn.
User
Hi Steve
I'm just catching up on posts from the last week, I hope that you're now feeling much better.
Maureen x
"You're braver than you believe, stronger than you seem and smarter than you think." A A Milne |
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User
Hi Steve ,
That's an emotive post again. You sound how I've spent most of my life even pre-cancer diagnosis , and that is as a person suffering with significant depression friend , which is far easier to handle if treated sooner than later. In your past posts I have seen many others intimate towards your mental wellbeing, but unless I've missed it , you have never really replied as to whether you have sought help.
Steve , I'm a very negative person who has suffered with depression and bipolar for 23 yrs . I'm not easy to live with or be around at all sometimes but I do everything i possibly can to help me be better. Have you discussed this with your doctor properly and if not then do it soon ok
Chris
User
Are you serious? RT and Zoladex is enough to cause fatigue and low mood.Steve, I'm not boasting here just a plain simply fact I was some fit guy. Yet it took me nigh on 12 months before I could walk a couple of miles. I'm been there reading how other guys were playing sports and getting on with it so I pushed on the basis if they could then I could with the result I was laid up and again not boasting that never happened to me before. So I learned the hard way to swallow my pride and accept it's the treatment - end of. Steve, just do what You can.
Then on top of that you had a rough RT time and heart issues.
So yes there might be some underlying depression issues of which Zoladex won't help.
Relax a bit you're doing well
Ray
User
Hi Steve,
I'm sorry to hear that you still have the black dog visiting.
I was in that situation a couple of months back, I ended up loosing my composure in the GP's office when asked how was I?
Long story short, I was put onto a course of 'happy pills' which have lifted me out of that large dark hole.
If you feel able I'd suggest approaching your GP with a view to treating the mental side of this horrible disease.
All the best mate,
Kevin
User
Steve
Other long term members on this forum will tell you that I wrote the book on depression and anxiety caused by PCa.
I understand exactly where you are presently. Your mind is telling you that you have overcome it all but then, without warning or preparation, it sinks in that you still have the disease or at least in the past have had a cancer diagnosis and when you do, the cycle of apathy, tiredness, lack of a lust for life begins again. I believe it is the mind trying to protect itself by slowing down, almost with some people to the point of not being able to raise yourself from bed some mornings. In others, the feelings of despair are less so. Whatever it is and whenever it happens, it debilitated your life.
What I can tell you is that, at some point along the road, there is a place called Acceptance. It is when the brain tells the person tells the body tells the brain; a state where everything that you have been through and may yet have to go through, begins to make sense. It is then and only then when you realise that you have to grab life by the balls and embrace your illness now, not allow your mind to dictate the terms of it which will only stultify your enjoyment of life. Don't get me wrong, it is easier said than done and comes quite late in the journey to some as it does fortunately early to others. When it does come, however, acceptance brings some respite from the tiredness, the apathy, the detachment from everyday life, the willingness to engage with others, to work, to enjoy your life as you did pre-diagnosis.
I fully understand that you have lost your zest, presently, but it will return my friend, I assure you of that. When your mind finally realises the destruction that cancer can do both psychologically as well as physically, you WILL rise up and jump back into the cycle of life. You will once again enjoy holidays, making plans, drinking wine, seeing family, doing work, because the life that you live now is far more important than the cancer's potential to destroy it later on. It takes the individuals' mind to realise that though - and we are all different.
My mantra has been, ever since I reached a town called Acceptance, JUST DO IT and ALL YOU NEED IS NOW. I wish you well Steve and know that in your own good time, you will find peace in your situation that allows you to get the best out of the hopefully long life that you have left. To enjoy each day and lay down memories for those that you love. That is all a good man can ever do.
God speed.
Bazza (Barry)
User
Hj Steve really sorry your feeling down, your not on your own feeling tired and don,t give a s*** about doing anything as I often feel this way , All the best Andy
User
Oh Steve, I am sorry that you are feeling down.
The others have said it all really, especially Bazza.
Only people who have gone through what you lot have experienced can really understand what it is like.
Others like me, wives,partners, we can only see what is on the outside or what you tell us.
I know us women try our best to be supportive of our men, but there is only so much we can do, so many times we can say a thing, such as" I love you no matter what" .
You have a 5k run planned so you have two options.
You drop out because you are not up to it, and no shame in that after all you've been through, or...
you start those extended walks and short jogs to try and get a little fitter. Who knows, the endorphins released when you exercise may well help with the way you feel at the moment. Walk the bloody race if you need to!!!
Whatever else you do, never assume that we don't care because it isn't true.
Please Steve, if you really are low have a word with the doc and see what he/she suggests.
If there isn't any work at present, well there will be at some stage.
Set yourself a target, no matter how small, and do it. A walk round the block whether you feel like it or not, and build from that.
Best wishes friend to you and the missus.
Edited by member 14 Jul 2015 at 22:44
| Reason: Not specified
We can't control the winds - but we can adjust our sails |
User
Hi Steve
I can't add anything to what's been said but I'm thinking of you at this difficult time
Arthur
User
Steve
You've had a tough time, no mistake about it, it's hardly surprising you feel like this. So much has changed in the last year and it's a heck of a lot to deal with. There is some great advice here from people who truly know what it is like. Do yourself a favour Steve and go and see your GP for help, if you do you will soon be on the other side of this. Indomagree with Bazza about acceptance, I'm sure that's really important and I'm also sure that it comes at different times for all of us. You'll be your old self again, never fear.
Logs of love
Allison
User
Good to see you posting again Steve, I have noticed that you have been quiet for a while, but supporting others with kind words and comments on their threads.
I expect that all of us on this site feel like you do at times, have been through it or are going through it. A cancer diadnosis is so frightening, what we all dread and is so devastating. As a wife it has changed me considerably and some days I feel like you do too. I am more scared of everything, worry about every symptom my family or I get and fear the worst all the time. What Bazza has said really rings true with me too.
I try to be positive and keep my worries hidden, very few people know that my OH has this disease as we fear for our young children finding out, so I only have this forum to share my worries with, and find it so useful.
I hope that you will find the comments made today of use to you. This is a normal reaction and maybe your GP can help you. Show him your post. It may be easier than explaining how you feel.
let us know what he says, it will help me and others.
Alison
User
Steve,
You are not alone. I think I have had a similar experience to you.
So far I've had 9 months of HT (with 37 RT fractions in January / February).
I have felt really bad emotionally, etc. - my GP put me on a low dose of Citalopram and it helped. I was also offered Cognitive Behaviour Therapy (CBT) by the Oncology Centre that treated me. I feel much better now so I would recommend seeing your GP and also seeing if you can get a course of CBT with a one to one therapist.
There's no need to suffer (that what I was told by my GP) - so please get some assistance.
I did and I found that CBT is very good - but you have to stick with it.
Martyn
Edited by member 14 Jul 2015 at 23:17
| Reason: Not specified
User
Hi,
Thank you, everyone, for all your kind messages. They have helped.
I have been on anti depressants since last October. Recently the dose has been doubled by my GP following a letter from the therapist who recently gave me six sessions of "Talking Therapies" organised by the hospital following my time in hospital in March (admitted with chest pains).
The therapist had been very concerned that my low mood had worsened rather than improved during the course of therapy. She wasn't happy that at times I had felt so low that I'd considered that things might be better if I were no longer around. I just felt things had reached a stage where there was no one I could turn to who understood how sad I felt and could help. Not being here, would hurt the ones I love, even more. They don't deserve that, I have hurt them enough already. It makes me feel even worse that when there are those here who are fighting for their lives, that I could even consider such a thing. I'm so sorry for ever thinking that way.
Please be patient with me, your friendship and support mean so much to me.
Thank you.
Steve
Edited by member 15 Jul 2015 at 10:24
| Reason: Not specified
User
hi steve and good morning its another day.
you posted re your lack of work, must be difficult being self employed with that extra pressure, have been in that dark hole years ago, and I know I can harp on about it but my running/excercise gave me a goal each day.
at the moment I set myself small targets
10k done and dusted
holiday to see grandkids in august
docetaxel chemo in september
thats as far as I am thinking
I think now I have fully accepted how I am, my mind and body seem more in tune, thats not to say I dont have a good cry now and again
for me is only been 4-5 months, I hope to still be posting in 4-5 years
bazza's post makes alot of sense
find it hard to put into words how much I want to offer my support
do what you can dont dwell on what you cant
nidge
run long and prosper
'pooh how do you spell love'
'piglet you dont spell love -you just feel it' |
User
Hi Steve,
Sorry to hear you are feeling so low but happy to see that you are reaching out for any help you need. Also as a wife pretty new to all of this I can't comprehend how this is affecting you but just want to say to keep posting and all your friends are here for you.
Trish x
User
Steve, it does get better. I was self employed and had to give it up which was tough. I did have the advantage after medic check of benifit office being keen to keep me off work so had basic payment - perhaps unlike today.
Is life the same, no and it never will be for me but building a different life although hard going at times is rewarding and is built from foundations of what is really important to you. 10 years on it still gets to me but I've learned rather than try to block those thoughts I just let them come and dismiss them by thinking of the positive changes the different life has brought that I might not have otjerwise made.
Hang in there
Ray
User
Steve,
I found that the talking therapy (CBT in my case) did make things worse to start with, because you are dealing with a lot of sensitive issues.
But after about 5 or 6 sessions it all started to make a lot of sense to me and my mood has improved significantly. In fact I wish I'd had CBT years ago! I have had 9 sessions so far and expect to have 12 - 18 in total.
Maybe some CBT would be good for you?
Martyn
User
Dear Steve
I am glad to hear that you have been to the GP and they have taken some action to address the depression problem.
I have no experience in this matter, but if you are still feeling so low, which you clearly are, I would expect that things should be taken a stage further. Is there someone higher up than a GP who you could be referred to, like a Consultant for this type of problem. There must be.
Perhaps you could ask the GP about this next visit. Always best to get on the waiting list ASAP!
Stay strong, you are a valued member of the forum and your family need you, and you will get through this and get back to enjoying life.
Alison
User
Martyn's post about CBT is very pertinent. It is proven throughout the world to be as effective as anti-depressants in many instances. I have had several sessions over 20 yrs , and whilst they haven't really helped with panic disorder , they do help with learning and understanding and modifying thought patterns. It's easy to get in a rut of negative thinking , and Steve I am right this instance going thru much the same as you , where everybody is pleading with me to be positive but I feel so overwhelmed.
Alison the mental health services in this country are even more over-burdened than the physical health ones to be honest. Doctors throw anti-depressants at you but sometimes just don't have the time to follow up properly. It can often take years of issues before you are forwarded to CBT and then a psychiatrist. Sadly people with bipolar are rarely diagnosed for a very long time after illness starts ( 10 yrs or more ).
All the advice has been great Steve and I'm glad you have seen your doctor and he has upped the dose. I know anti - d"s can be very effective in the right circumstances. I'm just hoping you can at least reach a "comfortable " place in the very near future.
Chris and Elaine
User
Hi,
Due to see a GP this afternoon, not the one I have been seeing since my favourite one retired in January, but someone who I was recommended to see. The guy I was seeing was ok but only really interested in cardiac issues. If it's anything else he doesn't seem to be bothered. I'd need to have another heart attack to keep him happy.
I have been feeling much better after reading your messages and also because the severe pain I've been in since last Friday after breaking a tooth has finally gone. I suppose that's what made me feel even more miserable earlier this week.
I'm a little scared to talk about my low mood too much as it's a doctor who doesn't really know me. It very hard to explain anything in ten minutes and he's supposed to be sorting out my beta blocker problems. Anyway we'll see. Speaking to MacMillan Wellbeing may be of more use.
Thanks everyone for taking time to help with your kind messages, they do help.
Steve
User
Tell the doctor all your feelings Steve, that is what he is there for and you have paid for.
This is important.
Alison
User
Steve,
If you have no luck with your GP you might want to find out if the oncology centre that treated you has any behavioural oncologists.
I did not get CBT through my GP. I went to the Oncology Health Centre (drop in centre) at the hospital where I had RT. They talked to me and within a few weeks offered me a CBT course. They told me if I tried to get this through my GP would take upwards of 9 months.
The therapists there are experts in helping people with cancer - because that is their focus.
If you could find a facility like this near you it might be good to talk to them?
Martyn
User
Hi,
The doctor's appointment turned out to be a bit frustrating. Because I hadn't seen him before he spent most of the time reading the my notes (there are quite a lot, I imagine). I had an ECG yesterday and he was a bit concerned with what it showed but when I told him that I had had a heart attack (he somehow missed that in my notes) he said that explains why my heart is not performing as well as it should. He decided to up my beta blockers (stand by for my moans about dizziness in the coming weeks).
As regards my recent mood problems, these weren't discussed in detail as there wasn't the time. All he said is that I should find things a bit easier as the increased dose of anti-d's will take time to kick in.
I'm going to ring the MacMillan Wellbeing people up to see if they can help and contact my cancer care nurse to see if I might be able to get on a CBT course.
Steve
Edited by member 16 Jul 2015 at 19:51
| Reason: Not specified
User
Hi Steve
Yes - continue to strike whilst the iron is hot and phone them tomorrow.
Keeping busy at appointments will help you to get through this and give you a purpose.
Might some voluntary work help to take your mind off things? It will also be a way to meet other people. You seem like a sociable person and getting out and about may be a tonic for you.
Alison
Edited by member 16 Jul 2015 at 20:51
| Reason: Not specified
User
Steve
The doctor 'didn't have time'. That's exactly what you need. Did anyone go with you? For your next appointment, try and have all questions written down and an accomplice will help ensure that you don't leave before every issue that can be sorted is.
paul
Stay Calm And Carry On. |
User
As I said , it's awful for doctors as well as patients. Just no time. Whether I'm a man or not I ended up broken down in tears many times. Just broken. A Gud dr will take notice and take action. Take your loving wife and insist ( even if it takes 3 weeks ) on a double appt Steve. You must try to stick to the same dr or change if you don't like him her. They need to know you. Bother them. It's their job.
I hope this new dose kicks in for you. No shame. Open your heart offline if you can . Chris
User
I've asked for a double appt before now and just told receptionist the Gp needs to go right back in my file to answer my query. Only time I've ever asked but at least we weren't rushed.
Mind you he's retirēd now and I can't see the others being so accommodating
Edited by member 17 Jul 2015 at 18:55
| Reason: Not specified
We can't control the winds - but we can adjust our sails |
User
Hi,
I seemed to have a much better day today. I think my increased meds are probably taking effect to some extent. Also a visit from our daughter and grandson really helped. It's such a nice feeling to see my grandson's smile when he arrives. He's fantastic.
I will try and get a double appointment next time but as I said, I was surprised he spend so much time reading my notes and sorting out my heart problems. I think he will be a good doctor but he was just under a bit of pressure as he was running quite late. He did tell me to make another appointment with him but he only works Wednesday to Friday.
Alison, I did try to contact MacMillan Wellbeing today, but the person I really needed to speak to, was off today. The voluntary work idea really appeals to me but at the moment, I desperately need to earn money to survive. Work has been so thin on the ground recently.
I would really like to do something to help, I have been trying to make people aware of the facts about Prostate Cancer, whenever I can. I often find talking to women as useful as talking to men about it as they will give the men in their lives, a "kick up the backside" to go and get checked if they have symptoms. I need to do this to help others avoid the mistake I made in ignoring symptoms for a couple of years until it was nearly too late for the chance of curable treatment.
A week on Sunday, I will be handing out PCa information with my local support group before running the men's "Race For Life" with the intention of raising of a bit of money for Cancer Research UK, though fundraising is a bit slow so far. I need to feel that I'm doing something useful.
I've been asked to write an article on Prostate Cancer for one of the papers I work for, so hopefully that may help a little.
Thanks everyone for your advice. I hope I can feel like this more often.
Steve
User
Good to hear that you are feeling a little better Steve.
Now get the walking shoes on and get out in the sunshine.
If the doctor only works certain days and he is the one you want to see then make that appointment asap, as for a double you'll probably have to wait a while.
And Steve, you're already doing your bit under difficult circumstances so stop beating yourself up.
You are handing out the PCA info and talking to people. Then the race and the article. They all mount up.
As far as voluntary work goes, well you could still apply. I think there are things like CRB checks etc so that takes time too and once you are accepted you won't have to keep going through it.
They'll realise that you need to be available for work, it's not a contract situation is it, so I'm sure any charity will appreciate anything you can give them as and when you can.
Edited by member 18 Jul 2015 at 13:02
| Reason: Not specified
We can't control the winds - but we can adjust our sails |
User
And meeting people in a voluntary setting may lead to paid work.
As an example my mum suffers from depression quite badly, for different reasons. She started helping in a charity shop and met lovely new friends. This lead to her looking after a dog whilst friend on holiday. walking the dog round park she met other dog walkers. Now she exercises with one of them and word has got round she will look after dogs whilst people are away. Hence now she looks after a dog all summer for almost 3 months and this is great company for her and a small income too.
You never know what might happen if you get out there. will be more positive than staying at home!
good luck
Alison
User
Hi Steve
Glad to hear your a bit better and had a visit from your grandson which helped. Try to be as positive as you can, we're all here to encourage you and we want to get you 'over the line' so to speak. You probably know but exercise helps the mind as well as the body so with the weather being pretty good lately try to get out if you're not doing that already. Ref volunteering my wife and I helped at a local Foodbank until it moved (my wife uses a wheelchair and couldn't get up the stairs!!), it was very rewarding but we did have to have CRB checks before we started. They also do food collections in our local supermarkets and are always glad of help for an hour or two.
Hope the work situation improves asap.
Take care, Arthur
User
Originally Posted by: Online Community MemberSteve
Other long term members on this forum will tell you that I wrote the book on depression and anxiety caused by PCa.
I understand exactly where you are presently. Your mind is telling you that you have overcome it all but then, without warning or preparation, it sinks in that you still have the disease or at least in the past have had a cancer diagnosis and when you do, the cycle of apathy, tiredness, lack of a lust for life begins again. I believe it is the mind trying to protect itself by slowing down, almost with some people to the point of not being able to raise yourself from bed some mornings. In others, the feelings of despair are less so. Whatever it is and whenever it happens, it debilitated your life.
What I can tell you is that, at some point along the road, there is a place called Acceptance. It is when the brain tells the person tells the body tells the brain; a state where everything that you have been through and may yet have to go through, begins to make sense. It is then and only then when you realise that you have to grab life by the balls and embrace your illness now, not allow your mind to dictate the terms of it which will only stultify your enjoyment of life. Don't get me wrong, it is easier said than done and comes quite late in the journey to some as it does fortunately early to others. When it does come, however, acceptance brings some respite from the tiredness, the apathy, the detachment from everyday life, the willingness to engage with others, to work, to enjoy your life as you did pre-diagnosis.
I fully understand that you have lost your zest, presently, but it will return my friend, I assure you of that. When your mind finally realises the destruction that cancer can do both psychologically as well as physically, you WILL rise up and jump back into the cycle of life. You will once again enjoy holidays, making plans, drinking wine, seeing family, doing work, because the life that you live now is far more important than the cancer's potential to destroy it later on. It takes the individuals' mind to realise that though - and we are all different.
My mantra has been, ever since I reached a town called Acceptance, JUST DO IT and ALL YOU NEED IS NOW. I wish you well Steve and know that in your own good time, you will find peace in your situation that allows you to get the best out of the hopefully long life that you have left. To enjoy each day and lay down memories for those that you love. That is all a good man can ever do.
God speed.
Bazza (Barry)
I am still trying to get the hang of using this forum, but had to reply to your post Barry.
It has done me the world of good reading it, more than once.
I can only thank you and people like you for the help this gives.
I am in that town called Acceptance, but at the moment am loosing my way around, but hopefully improving as time goes on, and with the help of your post will make me a resident !!
Thanks again
User
Originally Posted by: Online Community MemberHi Steve,
I'm sorry to hear that you still have the black dog visiting.
I was in that situation a couple of months back, I ended up loosing my composure in the GP's office when asked how was I?
Long story short, I was put onto a course of 'happy pills' which have lifted me out of that large dark hole.
If you feel able I'd suggest approaching your GP with a view to treating the mental side of this horrible disease.
All the best mate,
Kevin
Steve, I just had to reply to your post, and say that I hope your feeling a lot better now.
You were one of those that replied to my very fist post on this forum, which did me the power of good.
I often re read them in my times of darkness, and they still do help, so I hope in some small way this will remind you and help you as it did me.
CHIN UP CHAP YOU STILL HAVE A FUTURE !
All the very best
User
Old1, Let's make it a long-term tenure!
Edited by member 26 Jul 2015 at 17:54
| Reason: Not specified
User
as the beatles song goes
The long and winding road
That leads to your door
Will never disappear
I've seen that road before
It always leads me here
Lead me to you door
The wild and windy night
That the rain washed away
Has left a pool of tears
Crying for the day
Why leave me standing here
Let me know the way
Many times I've been alone
And many times I've cried
Any way you'll never know
The many ways I've tried
But still they lead me back
To the long winding road
You left me standing here
A long long time ago
Don't leave me waiting here
Lead me to your door
But still they lead me back
To the long winding road
You left me standing here
A long long time ago
Don't keep me waiting here
Lead me to your door
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
nidge
run long and prosper
'pooh how do you spell love'
'piglet you dont spell love -you just feel it' |
User
User
Hi,
Admitted into the Cardiac Care Unit again this morning. Not what I wanted. Doesn't help me pay the bills as they want to keep me in. Suppose to be doing a job in the morning, my first work since last Thursday. Feel like giving in. Thought my heart was sorted.
Steve
User
Hello Steve
I'm really sorry to hear yr bad news.
I do hope everything is ok, do you know why they want to keep you in.
I'm sure your new employer will be sympathetic and patient
I'm gunning for you and hope everything goes ok
Paul
User
Hello Steve
Sorry to hear the old bugbear is back
Wishing you a speedy recovery
Best Wishes
Sandra
We can't control the winds - but we can adjust our sails |
User
Hi Steve
Sorry to hear you find your self in a bad place again.
It is easy for me to say but please don't give in.
Just wanted to say something to try and encourage you to be positive.
Hope all is sorted ASAP.
User
Hi Steve
I have been away and no internet for a while, let us know how you are when you can.
As others have said, try not to get set back, you have done so well so far.
Alison
User
Hang on in there Steve, don't give up, you've come a long way. We're all here to "help you over the line"
Arthur
User
Sorry to hear that you are having further problems Steve - hopefully you will be back home soon enough. More jobs will come along, I am sure - better for you to get well than to die on a job!
"Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards." Soren Kierkegaard
|
User
Hi Steve,
Sorry to hear this news,
Sorry also to hear about job loss work is important
Good luck Barry
User
morning all
and hi steve, must be maddening for you hope all goes well with recovery and work, understand why you think giving up would be the easy option, none of us wanted this problem but adding money worries and extra health sues doesn't bear thinking about
all the best
nidge
run long and prosper
'pooh how do you spell love'
'piglet you dont spell love -you just feel it' |
User
Sorry to hear of your further problem Steve keep going mate all the best Andy
User
Hi,
Thank you for all your kind messages. Internet connection is not good here so I will not post much. Doing this from the bathroom as it seems better reception.
I'm ok. Had various tests, including the treadmill (didn't do very well). They're talking about doing another angiogram (cut wrist, tube into the heart). Will have to see.
Really tired.
Steve
User
Steve
Best wishes from El and I as ever. Sorry to hear you are back inside so to speak. I only hope you recover soon and are back home working again. Hope to hear from you soon x
User
Hi,
Just had a bit of good news.
Yesterday, I had a whole series of blood tests and they agreed to include a PSA test. I've been trying to find out the results and up until now, I hadn't found anyone who could check on the results for me.
I've just managed to persuade one of the night staff nurses to check for me, saying that I wouldn't be able to sleep if I didn't know. I'm glad I did. My PSA has fallen from 0.083 in May to 0.040 now. The best news I've had for a while.
If they can come up with a solution for my heart now, I would feel it was all worthwhile.
Steve
User
There you go Steve a silver lining ...hold onto that
Mo
User
hi steve
one worry ticked off the list
nidge
run long and prosper
'pooh how do you spell love'
'piglet you dont spell love -you just feel it' |