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A Fresh Start

User
Posted 31 January 2016 15:27:16(UTC)
I will try to explain when I can but I feel humiliated but desperately lonely. Frightened about what to say because I've mistakes in the past.
User
Posted 31 January 2016 16:40:08(UTC)

Oh Steve. I did message you yesterday so I hope you got it. It didn't say your box was full but I bet it will be today!!

Please don't be frightened what to post. If this situation is as bad for you as it has been in the past then no wonder you feel there is nowhere to turn, especially as you seem to be discounting us.
Whatever happened in the past with your posts is now water under the bridge and you know where it was misunderstood.

What is important now is that you ask us for help. Even if it isn't physical you know how good we are (usually!!) with the old shoulder to lean on.

There are many on here that have benefited from your posts and by reading your history.

There must also be folk on here that you trust if you private message them and although I am trustworthy!! I am a woman so perhaps you would feel better talking to a man.

Please try it. I would hate for you to get into the state you were in last time. Please my friend - approach one of us.
You must know that talking helps a bit to put things in perspective

XX

We can't control the winds - but we can adjust our sails
Thanked 1 time
User
Posted 31 January 2016 16:51:38(UTC)

Hi Steve,

No one has made more mistakes than me, and perhaps I am making another in trying to cheer you up?

My favourite quotations include:

Those who don't make mistakes don't make anything!

Rules are for the guidance of wise men and the blind obedience of fools!

God only made one perfect man, and we crucified him!

So whatever you have done, whoever you have upset, dust yourself down, learn from your mistakes, and move on.

:)

Dave

Thanked 3 times
User
Posted 31 January 2016 18:38:43(UTC)

Steve,

you are not alone in saying something then regretting it or wishing you hadnt said it ! Have just come back from a competitive obedience dog match with my club. I hate the matches as mainly they do nothing to promote it as a sport where dogs and handlers are enjoying themselves. Found myself saying as much and worse to the league captain of the opposition !  It may be true but probably tactless of me to pipe up !! Oh well, would drive ourselves crazy comtemplating the things we should never have done or said. Whatever was done is past so post whatever you feel anyway ! Don't inadvertently isolate yourself !

 

Fiona. x

Thanked 1 time
User
Posted 31 January 2016 22:31:03(UTC)
I know in an earlier post I suggested that Steve should open up to us as we could help and support him. I've been thinking about this and for me I'm going to let him come back to us when he's good and ready and in a better position to do so

Arthur
Thanked 1 time
User
Posted 01 February 2016 09:24:21(UTC)

I don't know if anyone else has but I'm sure Steve would appreciate support so maybe a private message just to let him know he is in our thoughts. ?

As you say Arthur, he will come to us in his own good time but he is already feeling lonely he says so a bit of online support might help maybe. We don't need to pester him, just confirm we are aware of how he feels

We can't control the winds - but we can adjust our sails
Thanked 1 time
User
Posted 01 February 2016 11:09:15(UTC)
This would really help him Johsan.

Alison
Thanked 1 time
User
Posted 03 February 2016 09:45:13(UTC)
Hi,

Thanks to all those who sent me PMs.

Seems I might have another problem. Can't seem to be able to pee and when I do, I pee blood. Never happened before and I'm a bit concerned.

My GP is seeing me at 4.50 this afternoon.

Steve
User
Posted 03 February 2016 09:59:25(UTC)

Good luck his afternoon Steve. Please let us know how you get on. As always, thinking of you

We can't control the winds - but we can adjust our sails
User
Posted 03 February 2016 11:33:48(UTC)
Hi Steve

You're doing the right thing visiting the GP quickly. Hope all goes well this afternoon and it's just a blip

Arthur
Thanked 1 time
User
Posted 03 February 2016 19:06:56(UTC)

Steve 

I have suffered retention lots of time, always head for the A&E ,retention is dangerous for your kidneys

all the best Barry

 

Bleeding could be because you are straining

Thanked 1 time
User
Posted 03 February 2016 19:07:26(UTC)

Hi,

GP's appointment didn't really provide any answers but I'm being referred to the Urology Department.  He didn't think it was an infection which is why he said it needs further investigation.

He's concerned that I have only managed to pee (about 50% blood) about half a litre since last night but don't really feel like going.  He told me to go to A&E if this started to cause me problems. 

Has anyone had problems like this as I could do with some info.

Thanks.

Steve

User
Posted 03 February 2016 20:54:06(UTC)

Hi Steve,

Don't have any experience of your problem and it seems your GP can't explain it either. It's good that you are being referred to Urology for an appointment (and no doubt investigation) but I would follow your GP's advice and go to A&E in the meantime, if problem persists.

Barry
Thanked 1 time
User
Posted 03 February 2016 21:40:19(UTC)
Steve

When I had retention the GP I saw sent me straight to A&E, if it persists please take the advice of others and go to A&E yourself


Arthur
Thanked 1 time
User
Posted 03 February 2016 22:37:28(UTC)
Hi Steve

Don't wait until you go into retention, get to A&E and get it sorted or do you have a contact at the hospital you can call?

Take care

Roy
Thanked 1 time
User
Posted 04 February 2016 00:47:03(UTC)
Thanks Guys,

I am managing to avoid being blocked completely now. The thing that really bothers me is peeing the blood, it seems to be worse this evening. I've never had that until today and it's a bit scary.

Steve
User
Posted 04 February 2016 09:32:46(UTC)

Did the GP test for infection Steve or is it only an assumption on his part?

Has he marked the urology request as urgent?

We can't control the winds - but we can adjust our sails
User
Posted 04 February 2016 10:09:03(UTC)
If you don't get an urgent Urology appointment please go to A&E Steve and get it checked out.

Arthur
Thanked 1 time
User
Posted 04 February 2016 10:23:26(UTC)
Hi Steve

Are you on blood thinners for your heart problem, or are you taking aspirin which could irritate the bladder?

Roy
User
Posted 04 February 2016 10:37:16(UTC)

Agree with others steve go to a & e

run long and prosper

'pooh how do you spell love'
'piglet you dont spell love -you just feel it'
User
Posted 04 February 2016 13:27:13(UTC)

Hi,

Fast-tracked by GP to see a Urology Consultant this morning.  Quite surprised by the speed this has happened. 

The consultant wasn't quite sure what is going on, he doesn't think it is an infection, could be a side effect of my radiotherapy or something else.  I did a flow test, had an ultrasound on the bladder and gave a urine sample.  A quick test showed blood in the sample, high protein and high number of white blood cells.  My urine flow is returning

He's arranged for me to have a kidney scan and an examination of the bladder with a camera up the penis (oh joy) but not until next week.

So it's fingers-crossed time that everything will be ok.  I've had enough to cope with this week.

Steve

User
Posted 04 February 2016 13:33:23(UTC)

You certainly have Steve, but at least with this the GP has pulled is finger out and something is being done.

All the best my friend

We can't control the winds - but we can adjust our sails
User
Posted 04 February 2016 14:20:06(UTC)

Glad to hear something is being done Steve.
Good luck with the tests

Paul

User
Posted 04 February 2016 15:19:41(UTC)
Made my eyes water with the camera
Glad you are getting sorted out

Nidge
run long and prosper

'pooh how do you spell love'
'piglet you dont spell love -you just feel it'
User
Posted 04 February 2016 15:21:19(UTC)
Steve

I had the joy of a camera up the penis yesterday, to be fair the doctor was brilliant quick squirt of gel and it was all over in 60 seconds and you get the bonus of watching it on screen.

All the best.

Thanks Chris
Thanked 1 time
User
Posted 04 February 2016 21:14:45(UTC)

Hi Steve,
Could be your RT has caused all your probs ,it did with me about six months after it finished
see my profile

User
Posted 04 February 2016 21:15:48(UTC)

Hi,

My eyes are watering thinking of a camera up the penis, not looking forward to it. 

Steve

 

User
Posted 04 February 2016 21:30:50(UTC)
Hi Steve

Pleased to hear you got a speedy appointment

Hope the procedure goes well


Arthur
User
Posted 04 February 2016 21:47:23(UTC)

Hi Steve,

I have read a few of the threads from your post. I know I don't usually message people much, but I had to reply to this.
Please, please, please, keep talking about whatever you need to! Whatever has been said which made you think you have to be careful with what you say- take no notice. It would be a false world if we all went round pretending to be happy all the time. Life can be extremely tough, and we all have support from these groups, so please carry on!
Are you living on your own? DO you have friends or family around who can also listen?

Ali

'Sorrow looks back, worry looks around, but faith looks up'
Thanked 1 time
User
Posted 04 February 2016 23:44:07(UTC)
Hi Steve

Glad you were fast tracked and things are progressing. The thought of the camera is worse than the actual experience ( a bit like the thought of the biopsy) they will put a gel into the opening which should numb it and you will be able to follow the cameras progress as it makes its way into the bladder which takes your mind off what is happening, so don't worry you will be fine, you have come through far worse procedures.

Good Luck

Roy
Thanked 1 time
User
Posted 05 February 2016 07:40:54(UTC)

Good luck Steve
Barry

User
Posted 07 February 2016 03:41:11(UTC)
Hi,

With all the daily medications I have to take (16 in total), I thought it was worthwhile reading through the info sheets again to see if me peeing blood could be a side effect of taking any of them.

I found that was unlikely but something I read, did seem to apply to me but in a slightly different way.

On a couple of meds, nightmares were a common side effect. Since my treatment started, I have had wonderful dreams almost every night. I look forward to going to sleep to have these dreams, and the happiness they provide.

To me, my nightmare begins when I wake up.

Steve
User
Posted 07 February 2016 09:12:38(UTC)

Wow, that's horrible for you Steve, that you should be happier asleep to escape the day's horrors.

Nothing you can do about it either is there, since you have to take the medication.

X

We can't control the winds - but we can adjust our sails
User
Posted 07 February 2016 10:16:03(UTC)

Hi Sandra,

People have told me I should post what I feel even thought it's caused me trouble in the past.

I just wish there was a way I could achieve the feeling of happiness when I'm not sleeping.  Perhaps that's not possible with what's going on at the moment.

I've always had faith that Heaven may provide the same happiness when death comes.

Steve x

User
Posted 07 February 2016 11:55:56(UTC)

When you are asleep Steve the real world recedes, you can pick and choose the things that make you happy (unless you're having a nightmare of course - but that isn't your problem is it) and who would choose to think of the things that are wrong in our lives or make us sad.

I am glad you have faith to believe that death (when it eventually comes) will provide a safe haven, but you have to live until then with all that is going on in your life.
You know full well that your family would mourn your loss as would we so can I be a bit selfish and ask you to concentrate on that. If life is beyond your control at the moment there is nothing you can do about it except grit your teeth and wait for the next corner to be turned. Think of those babies who are just getting to know you.

I wish that faith could help you over the current secular hurdles too.

If it helps to post then carry on. You know that we would help if we could, unfortunately we can only be online support, but as usual we are here with the listening ear.

My best to you and yours Steve. You'll get past this, just be patient
x

We can't control the winds - but we can adjust our sails
User
Posted 07 February 2016 16:29:13(UTC)
Steve

I really feel that you are crying out for help but are not sure where to go.

I am not sure either, if I am honest.

I know you have some problems that are not related to the illness but are a result of it, and which you want to remain confidential, which I can understand.

That said, maybe if you mention them here others may have some constructive advice. If other members aren't happy with the subject matter, then they do not need to read the thread, that is up to them.

There may be others on here with similar issues who could do with the pointers too.

Perhaps you would benefit from a chat with the nurses on here, I have emailed them before when I have not felt like chatting and they have emailed me back. They could point you in the right direction regarding the unmentioned issues.

Got to be worth a try - the way you are talking about sleep and death, I really do feel that you need support, as others have said, you have so much to live for!

All the best

Alison
User
Posted 07 February 2016 19:36:07(UTC)

Have messaged you Steve but appear to be having trouble with my computer screen. Everything's gone tiny and I couldn't find the post button so had to go round about. Hope it arrived anyway

We can't control the winds - but we can adjust our sails
User
Posted 07 February 2016 21:13:27(UTC)

Thanks Allison & Sandra,

Sandra,  I received the message.

Steve x

User
Posted 09 February 2016 17:45:32(UTC)

Hi,

I feel so relieved, I've achieved what I was hoping for with the situation I've faced in the last few weeks. 

I'd like to thank everyone who sent me a PM to offer their support at one of my lowest times and having patience with me as it was something I was not able to post openly on this site. 

Thank you for sticking by me. 

Steve

Thanked 1 time
User
Posted 09 February 2016 18:20:59(UTC)

Like glue my good man, like glue.

Sounds like you may have resolved it. Best wishes to all of you. Start again eh?

We can't control the winds - but we can adjust our sails
Thanked 1 time
User
Posted 09 February 2016 19:56:45(UTC)
Great news Steve.

Hope you can concentrate upon getting yourself over this problem now and enjoying life a little more again.

Two lovely grandchildren to enjoy!

Alison
Thanked 1 time
User
Posted 09 February 2016 21:21:58(UTC)
Good news Steve

Really pleased that the situation you were facing has been resolved

Arthur
Thanked 1 time
User
Posted 09 February 2016 23:22:07(UTC)

Hi Steve , pleased to hear this. Hopefully now you can now concentrate on your health and wellbeing and can feel more optimistic about the future. Cheers Georgina

Thanked 1 time
User
Posted 10 February 2016 05:49:26(UTC)

hi steve you can now focus and zoom in on what matters, picture the scene in a few months you will not need photoshop, the colours will be vivid, just keep your finger on the button lens cap off and enjoy the picture

this is about the time when the wife says 'nigel stop its getting on my nerves'

regards
nidge

ps
canon rules ok

run long and prosper

'pooh how do you spell love'
'piglet you dont spell love -you just feel it'
Thanked 1 time
User
Posted 29 February 2016 20:41:24(UTC)

Hi,

Decided to stop taking my anti-depressant tablets yesterday because if they're suppose to improve things for me, they weren't working.  Not helping in anyway. 

Most of the time they make me feel as if nothing really matters.  I've been told that the house could fall down around me and it wouldn't bother me.  Probably true. 

Enough is enough.

Steve 

 

User
Posted 29 February 2016 20:52:42(UTC)

Have you gone "cold turkey" Steve?

Won't that be a bit drastic on your system, after all your body has been used to it for a while.

I can see why you'd want to leave them off if they were leaving you on another planet, I'm just concerned it may be a bit sudden.

Did you consult a doctor first.

Sorry, it's the mother hen bit in me. You know your own business best. Hope it works out for you

We can't control the winds - but we can adjust our sails
Thanked 1 time
User
Posted 29 February 2016 21:10:19(UTC)

Hi Steve,

I am sure I will get told off for supporting you, but life is short, and we might as well do what we like, and enjoy ourselves.

I have loads of tablets I don't take, like statins (because they give me cramp), and several others.

Some days I suddenly think to myself, did I take my tablets this morning? or did I take those tablets last night?

To my way of thinking, if I can't tell whether I have taken my tablets or not, then they can't be having much of an impact, leastwise not in the short term.

The thing is, if you still have a stock of the tablets to hand, you can always take one if you feel the need. 

Best of luck.

:)

Dave 

Thanked 1 time
User
Posted 29 February 2016 21:19:04(UTC)

It should tell you on the packaging about coming off the medication. As far as I am aware it's not a good idea to suddenly stop anti - depressants...but I think you already know that Steve.

Bri

Thanked 1 time
User
Posted 29 February 2016 21:22:18(UTC)

Originally Posted by: Online Community Member

 

The thing is, if you still have a stock of the tablets to hand, you can always take one if you feel the need. 

Best of luck.

:)

Dave 

 

Unfortunately, anti-d's don't work like that, you can't just take one when you feel the need.  Anti-depressants work in a number of ways, they reduce anxiety but also affect the serotonin levels in the brain  Take away the anti-anxiety component and you will get a resurgence of anxiety.  Not medically trained, but been there, done that and still have the t-shirt (and wearing it!)

Thanked 1 time
User
Posted 29 February 2016 23:31:25(UTC)

Hi Thistledubh,

I bow to your greater knowledge, antidepressants is not something I have experience of, and Steve will do well to follow your advice.

However in the wider range of medical matters, I think there is a tendency amongst our no doubt overworked GP's, to put us on tablets for one reason or another and then just leave us on repeat perscriptions without having periodic reviews of whether we still need that medication.

I guess the correct advice to anyone who is unhappy with their medication is to get back in touch with their GP and ask for a review?

:)

Dave  

 
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