Bladder neck involvement

Hello Ella and welcome to the site.

I cannot help with the basics of your enquiry but I do know that there are others on here with the appropriate experience so hang in there until one of them replies.

There is no simple answer to your fear of losing him emotionally. Support him? Well all you can do is be there. There is a lot for him to take in at the moment and many things will be running through his head, so it isn't surprising that he cannot focus on finishing the jobs he's started. Perhaps he's thinking "Why bother".

If I were in your shoes I wouldn't push too much about any of it, let him come to it in his own time. I know that's hard to do and I speak as another wife, one with a husband who doesn't say much about how he feels.

You are already supporting him (and have been since diagnosis) as much as you can and I am sure that he really does appreciate that.

If you don't ask questions at the hospital then you (he) can't make informed decisions about the best treatment. There is no forcing that issue though because unless he asks the doctor may not give you the information. I tend to sit there quietly letting the doctor do all the talking and jump in quick with my question before we leave. !! We are fortunate though not to be going down the HT route so I don't have to put up with the extra emotions this treatment causes.

Please be patient until one of the others pop up as I am sure they will.

We are here and you've found us so that's good

All the best

Sandra

Hello Ella
Despite a rapidly rising PSA my cancer was very hard to find. It was high and blind to the scans and attached to the bladder neck. I had radical prostatectomy and some bladder resectioning. Five lymph nodes were cancerous also. My post op PSA was 1.5 rising quickly to 2.4. My urologist said on hindsight that he wished he had removed the bladder entirely. However a PET scan after the op didn't show hot spots anywhere strangely , leading them to believe I have lots of micro spread. I've been on HT for 8 months and am not on a curative path anymore. I'm 49.
We too are suffering badly with a range of emotions and cycling between good and bad months really. The ED thing is crippling but we are working hard at that and getting results. It's so important if you can to talk. To really try and talk things through as it's such a long journey it seems , and you both need each other. I'm very demoralized at the moment. I guess it depends what type of person you are. I was always glass half empty so this has kind of tipped me over the edge. Every now and again I get really busy and feel better.
Wishing you the best
Chris

He's build a Hugh shed man space but it's not finished and raised beds levelled it all out for wheel chair use but just after my outpouring today on here he got up and did a bit in the kitchen , which is being revamped his other love cooking, I want to

Pay someone to do the heavy work but he's not having it so your probably right I'll

Leave it I am going to ask if he can have this treatment intermittently to give him a break and I think next year we'll get a camper and go off travelling , think we're in shock we were told a month ago he didn't need hormone treatment then a phone call telling us he had to start immediately tablets and injections at GP , who couldn't fit us in so we haven't seen any one , I

Just needed to blurt it all out we have handled all of it brilliantly I've had real ill health this passed year and we manage to

Joke about what we're turning in to a couple

Of years ago we were both super fit and now we're eying up mobile scooters . Thanks again I'll re read your messages tomorrow I'm shatters now

When I had GP issues the CNS agreed to administer Zoladex provided I got the prescription from my GP and collected it from local pharmacy(ie not hospital)

Ray

Regarding side effects I suppose it depends on how quickly the testosterone is reduced. I can barely remember as my hubby went on HT over five years ago. Hot flushes, tiredness and fatigue seems to be pretty usual, but fatigue levels seem to vary a lot. They hit my hubby right away and like a ton of bricks. He's used to it now and adopted graded activity to help and it works. The hot flushes stopped a good while ago too. I always think of it as being a new normal for us, you can't really fight it but just adapt.

Having a husband with invasion into the bladder I think HT is a must, my hubby has had a tough 18 months or more as the tumour in his Prostate has pressed further into the bladder, urethra and kidneys. So anything that halts that profession is preferable to what the outcome of unrestrained cancer in the area would be. I know it's hard to cope with, but I really do think we all have to try to enjoy our lives as much as we can and lean on the members of this forum for support when things get too much. You can also speak to the nurses on the helpline here, Macmillan nurses and Maggies centres if you have one.

With love

Devonmaid xx