Hello Ebby and welcome to the site.
If dad is a bit taciturn he is unlikely to have given you his scores ie PSA and Gleason/ Has he indicated at all what stage he is as it does help when members advise.
In the meantime, go to Publications on this site and download the Toolkit which may given you information to help you (although until you know exactly what dad has etc the information might be a bit vague)
We have recently had a few people on here with fathers havimg been diagnosed and I am sure they will be along to offer their support.
Don't despair yet. There is much that can be done with Prostate cancer and many treatments for it. We have members on here who are incurable and have been for years. Remember that phrase. " For years"
Answering has bumped you up the list so look out for others' responses.
All the best
Sandra
We can't control the winds - but we can adjust our sails |
User
hi ebby
as you are finding if dad is not willing to tell you much all we can do is try and guess, the 'toolkit' is a great booklet but without the info you need will be difficult to understand what may be useful
will dad allow anyone to go with him on hospital visits as he will be under going what can only be called a complete life style change, does he have a close friend or relative you can ask to talk to him and maybe get some feed back that way, but he may not have mentioned it to them
all you can do is the best you can, don't torment yourself with ifs and buts
regards
nidge
run long and prosper
'pooh how do you spell love'
'piglet you dont spell love -you just feel it' |
User
Hi Ebby.
My dad too has recently been diagnosed. This site has been an absolute godsend. Reading stories about real men who are going through the same thing and seeing how well they are doing, some of them years after diagnosis, has given me so much hope for dad.
I hope he opens up to you soon, there is nothing worse than keeping worries to yourself.
Sending love and hope to you and your family xx
User
Hi Ebby
Men eh! There are times when we can be as difficult to understand as women (not often ).The problem for many of us is that we are not used to discussing things of a personal nature with anyone and to be hit with the news that you have cancer is bad enough but for it to be in an area which affects the most personal parts of your body is a big deal. I found it hard enough to initially talk to my wife about it and if we had children I can't begin to imagine how I would have spoken to a daughter about it. If it is possible for you and mum to make him realise that this affects you as well and that you need him to help you all he might start to realise as I had to that although he might have the cancer it is the family who suffer the effects of it .
He has to be allowed to retain his dignity and maybe once he understands that this is not the end of the world but it is something he cannot deal with on his own he might start to talk. He is lucky to have family support and I really hope that he will realise very soon that he needs to be the one offering support to you and mum. It's a two way street.
Kind regards
Kevan
Edited by member 29 Jun 2016 at 09:49
| Reason: Not specified
User
Hello again Ebby,
Just a thought, is there a chance that he would listen if you tell him about this site (you might have to agree to come off it though).
Perhaps if he is burying his head in the sand he hasn't researched sites like ours.
Ask your mum if he would be receptive to the information (or give the details to your mum so that she can make out she's found the site -we do on occasion have to be a bit sneaky about these things, but it's in our mens' best interests)
Anyway, you are doing your best for him - and that matters
Best Wishes Sandra
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We can't control the winds - but we can adjust our sails |