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tired and emotional!

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User
Posted 23 Nov 2016 at 20:38

Just need to tell someone how shattered and sad I feel today.

It's not that there's any significant problem (well other than the b****y cancer of course and the poor prognosis!). I'm just stressed out because he's stressed out and because he doesn't want anyone to know that he's ill (for reasons that I absolutely understand - it's definitely the right decision for him). So I can't tell anyone either which is one helluva strain. My brother also has terminal cancer and my mum is in her 90s so I'm trying to support everyone and stay positive and upbeat. Mostly I manage ok but every so often I just want to curl up in a ball and howl. I'm all out of energy. On days like today I even find it hard to be with friends and family - just don't have any spare capacity but have to pretend that everything is fine.

No need to respond - I know you'll understand. Thanks for listening...

User
Posted 24 Nov 2016 at 07:18

So sorry you are kind of having to struggle with this alone. It's very very hard even when you do have outlets like my wife and I do. Exercise and walking releases some of the pressure though.

Chris

User
Posted 24 Nov 2016 at 07:31

Eleanor,

When I was diagnosed in July 2013 we made the decision not to tell anyone part from our two best friends. It was easy for us to maintain that position since I had virtually zero side effects from HT or PCa. When HT failed and Chemo was about to start we decided to 'come out' and told the world and his wife. We've got no regrets about coming out.

We wish you both all the best and hope you will find a way forward that brings you peace.

David and Linda

User
Posted 24 Nov 2016 at 20:00
Hi Eleanor

Sending you a big hug. It took my husband a long while to open up to others re his cancer. I found it very exhausting although he did let me talk to my work colleagues as he had no friendships ties with them. Is there someone outside your family/joint friendship net work that he may allow you to talk to. I arrived at work a number of times in tears but it was good to be able to release my emotions somewhere other than home.

It's good to see on your profile that your husbands psa is coming down, fingers crossed for it to continue.Bob started his journey with bone mets and although he's not quite so well at moment we are lucky to be 6 years on so don't lose hope, it's early days in your journey.

Take care

Lesley xx

User
Posted 25 Nov 2016 at 22:58

I'm really not obsessed with food and beer. Honest, I'm not.

Time for bed.

What's for brekkie tomorrow?

User
Posted 24 Nov 2016 at 06:59

Sending you a massive virtual (((((((hug)))))))) Eleanor. You are not alone

There is also a comfort blanket doing the rounds. I'm sure whoever has it will share with you

Take care

Bri x

User
Posted 24 Nov 2016 at 08:41

Have messaged you Eleanor

XXXX

We can't control the winds - but we can adjust our sails
User
Posted 24 Nov 2016 at 12:30
Eleanor I'm so sorry to see this. It IS really tough and it must be even harder if other people don't know so you can't even share the burden. Feel free to message me at any time x
User
Posted 24 Nov 2016 at 22:00
Oh Gosh Eleanor, the blanket is on its way firs t class post, it can't change diagnosis but it can give comfort and warmth from all of us here .

BFN

Julie X

NEVER LAUGH AT A LIVE DRAGON
User
Posted 25 Nov 2016 at 17:55

keep on dripping! :-)

x

Show Most Thanked Posts
User
Posted 24 Nov 2016 at 06:59

Sending you a massive virtual (((((((hug)))))))) Eleanor. You are not alone

There is also a comfort blanket doing the rounds. I'm sure whoever has it will share with you

Take care

Bri x

User
Posted 24 Nov 2016 at 07:18

So sorry you are kind of having to struggle with this alone. It's very very hard even when you do have outlets like my wife and I do. Exercise and walking releases some of the pressure though.

Chris

User
Posted 24 Nov 2016 at 07:31

Eleanor,

When I was diagnosed in July 2013 we made the decision not to tell anyone part from our two best friends. It was easy for us to maintain that position since I had virtually zero side effects from HT or PCa. When HT failed and Chemo was about to start we decided to 'come out' and told the world and his wife. We've got no regrets about coming out.

We wish you both all the best and hope you will find a way forward that brings you peace.

David and Linda

User
Posted 24 Nov 2016 at 08:41

Have messaged you Eleanor

XXXX

We can't control the winds - but we can adjust our sails
User
Posted 24 Nov 2016 at 12:30
Eleanor I'm so sorry to see this. It IS really tough and it must be even harder if other people don't know so you can't even share the burden. Feel free to message me at any time x
User
Posted 24 Nov 2016 at 20:00
Hi Eleanor

Sending you a big hug. It took my husband a long while to open up to others re his cancer. I found it very exhausting although he did let me talk to my work colleagues as he had no friendships ties with them. Is there someone outside your family/joint friendship net work that he may allow you to talk to. I arrived at work a number of times in tears but it was good to be able to release my emotions somewhere other than home.

It's good to see on your profile that your husbands psa is coming down, fingers crossed for it to continue.Bob started his journey with bone mets and although he's not quite so well at moment we are lucky to be 6 years on so don't lose hope, it's early days in your journey.

Take care

Lesley xx

User
Posted 24 Nov 2016 at 22:00
Oh Gosh Eleanor, the blanket is on its way firs t class post, it can't change diagnosis but it can give comfort and warmth from all of us here .

BFN

Julie X

NEVER LAUGH AT A LIVE DRAGON
User
Posted 24 Nov 2016 at 22:49

Oh you lot are so entirely wonderful! Wrote my post in a state of misery and woke up to a pile of warm and loving and kind posts - and then got more throughout the day. Thanks so much to all of you. And thanks for the comfort blanket...am tucked up in it right now (along with a glass of wine and a large bar of chocolate). I have been reading Julie's amazing, brave, funny posts and noticed the blanket being passed round. I feel very privileged to be the temporary owner and promise to try not to dribble wine down it.

Wish you all lived next door - but this forum is the next best thing.

Hugs all round.

Eleanor

xxx

User
Posted 25 Nov 2016 at 09:07

Ah Eleanor, if we all lived next door you'd soon get fed up with us and the sound of our voices!!! You'd get them then all at once. This way we drip feed you the love and hugs
!

We can't control the winds - but we can adjust our sails
User
Posted 25 Nov 2016 at 17:55

keep on dripping! :-)

x

User
Posted 25 Nov 2016 at 18:05
Originally Posted by: Online Community Member
keep on dripping! :-)

x

I think there's a few on here doing that lol

Bri

User
Posted 25 Nov 2016 at 19:18

nice one - first chuckle I've had in quite a while!

x

User
Posted 25 Nov 2016 at 22:53

Originally Posted by: Online Community Member

keep on dripping! :-)

x

Yum yum! Beef dripping on toast. Haven't had that since the 60's. Sigh!

User
Posted 25 Nov 2016 at 22:58

I'm really not obsessed with food and beer. Honest, I'm not.

Time for bed.

What's for brekkie tomorrow?

 
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