Terrible experience

User

Posted 13 Dec 2016 at 15:11

Please before anyone says this didn't happen to me - this was my husbands experience . And felt I had to share

From the apppintment when my husband was told he was going to have the Robotic surgery I relised he was just going to be treated as a patient no sympathy what's so ever .

The so called expert nurse with the surgeon who was there to answer questions support him etc , was as cold as ice and treated us both so of hand if though we should know all the answer ourself and how dare we ask questions . But we just thought maybe she was having a bad day !

Then we went for the pre op - if the nurse said it once she said it ten times "I'm not used to dealing with men's parts I deal with my ladies " I'm sorry but a woman wouldn't have had this .. it made my blood boil - well get a nurse who deals with men's bits then .

Day of the surgery - I left my husband tonhave his robotic op , I was told to go to the ward approx 5 hours later when he should be there . I went to the nurses station to ask where my husband was to be looked at oddly then told oh i think we've lost him ! My heart sunk - I asked what do you mean they said oh he could still be in recovery , I was told to wait in a room and a nurse came and told me about an hour later he was coming up from the recovery ward . To say I was relieved is An understatement.

His two day stay in the hospital was horrendous we left eventually after they found his notes they had lost , no aftercare instructions , no follow on appointments nothing .

My husband has been through the mill and I'm just so glad I've been there to help him .

I'm only putting this on here as I personally feel his treatment so far and continuing to be awful .

I'm disgusted how a cancer patient he has been treated ... maybe I'm wrong saying this but this is how I feel ... I'm sure it would be different if it was me !

Attitudes need to change .

I hope no one goes through what he has and thank you for this group .

Edited by member 13 Dec 2016 at 21:19 | Reason: Not specified

User

Posted 15 Dec 2016 at 11:09

Hi LizzyLizzy - what an awful experience for you both. I hope things have settled a bit now. I know how you feel. The first large hospital my husband was treated at was pretty dire. When he was first diagnosed he was assigned a nurse and told, this is your point of contact. X will be with you for support and information and will always be available or will get back to you as soon as poss. X was NEVER available and never got back to us. When he did he was fairly useless. When we complained and Js consultant told X he had to up his game, X said he'd been busy! We put in an official complaint and spent a long time with the PALS at that hospital and then gave up and transferred to another hospital. Our experience there could not be more different. Everyone is great, emapthic, understanding and supportive. The whole atmosphere and ethos is different. After a dreadful day in hospital yesterday, J's current cancer nurse gave us both long hugs. She is always there for us, phones unprompted to see how we are, and is a truly wonderful nurse. So there are great people out there and if it is possible for you, maybe you should consider changing hospitals. Good luck

User

Posted 20 Dec 2016 at 20:52

Lizzy Lizzy

I had my TWOC today on the ward against which I had made a complaint. The sister came to see me at the start of my appointment to ask if I'd be willing to meet with her to discuss my complaint. She spent an hour or so going through each line. She apologised for the things she believed could have gone better. She explained some of the processes that I maybe hadn't understood. But what she really grasped was that what was important was my experience and my perception. I felt listened too. She told me that she could take learning from my report. She also said she would be providing me with written details of her investigations and what actions would arise. I told her I didn't need that. She took a lot of time today to thoroughly explore my concerns. I told her to go off and do the things she felt needed to be done.

My complaint was very thorough and written in the style of a Care Quality Commission report. I graded each aspect of my care according to CQC criteria - most of it got a 4 - inadequate.

I told her that the matter was closed. I'm happy with her taking the time to meet me.

I hope you get a response that helps you from your hospital.

User

Posted 20 Dec 2016 at 17:27

Thank you all very much .. a complaint has been made . My husbands recovery is slow and he is a very impatient patient .

We are very lucky we have each other and have often thought about the people who have and are in this situation with no one around them to help .

Thank you all again

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User

Posted 13 Dec 2016 at 16:15

is not it possible to name the place, atleast nobody get in to the hands of such people.Hope your hasbund is fully recovered.

User

Posted 13 Dec 2016 at 16:36

sorry to hear about your experience,i find i get more help from the macmillan nurse if i am worried about anything,if they dont know straight away,they will find out and get back to you,you are bound to bump into people like that sometimes whos bedside manner is not very good.

User

Posted 13 Dec 2016 at 18:55

LizzyLizzy

I'm sorry to hear of your husband's story, but sadly not surprised after my experience.

I had my op last Friday. I have a catalogue of concerns to raise with the hospital. I soiled myself and was left lying in my own poo for around ten hours, for example. I'm pain free and trying to stay positive, but the more I reflect on my experience of the ward, the more saddened I become.

I spoke to the patients liaison service today to start to register my concerns. I am going to write a very detailed summary of my experience and then ask to meet the ward matron face to face for explanations.

I'm 46 and a headteacher of a secondary school, so I am a naturally assertive person. But I felt vulnerable and not able to fight for myself in hospital.

I dread to think what happens to people who truly can't stand up for themselves or who have no one to help them.

Walter

User

Posted 13 Dec 2016 at 18:56

Originally Posted by: Online Community Member

is not it possible to name the place, atleast nobody get in to the hands of such people.Hope your hasbund is fully recovered.

Not a great idea to name the hospital and definitely against the rules to name any of the medical staff - since the forum was made public everyone has to be very careful not to libel or slander anyone

"Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards." Soren Kierkegaard

User

Posted 14 Dec 2016 at 22:05

Put all this down and open a complaint. I would not have put up with what you had to and they would have been told bluntly . Andy

User

Posted 15 Dec 2016 at 09:40

Lillylizzy, you may have calmed down a little by now and just want to get on with helping your husband recover and I can fully understand that.

However, what happened at the hospital is a definite nono, whether a member of staff was having a bad day or not, the patient and his feeling should be at the forefront of their minds.

I appreciate that wards are very busy places and that staff don't have time to stand around and chat to patients but they should have time for their "proper" duties and surely compassion in a nurse should be there all the time.

If you don't make a report, listing everything that went wrong or how it made you feel, then nothing changes and the next person suffers.

If this is their normal working procedure then it means that others treated in the same way before your husband have not complained either and so it goes on.

Contact PALS at the hospital. I did it for John when they messed us around, and it was nothing like you have both been through. I was dealt with promptly and courteously and got a result very quickly.

I hope you feel a lot better today

Edited by member 15 Dec 2016 at 09:41 | Reason: Not specified

We can't control the winds - but we can adjust our sails

User

Posted 15 Dec 2016 at 11:09

User

Posted 20 Dec 2016 at 17:27

Thank you all very much .. a complaint has been made . My husbands recovery is slow and he is a very impatient patient .

We are very lucky we have each other and have often thought about the people who have and are in this situation with no one around them to help .

Thank you all again

User

Posted 20 Dec 2016 at 17:45

I'm glad you've set that in motion Lillylizzy.

Nothing can be done about the past, hopefully the future treatment of your husband and others will be improved because you've complained.

Put it to the back of your mind now and enjoy Christmas and the festivities as much as you can.

Best wishes to you both

Sandra

We can't control the winds - but we can adjust our sails

User

Posted 20 Dec 2016 at 20:52

Lizzy Lizzy

My complaint was very thorough and written in the style of a Care Quality Commission report. I graded each aspect of my care according to CQC criteria - most of it got a 4 - inadequate.

I told her that the matter was closed. I'm happy with her taking the time to meet me.

I hope you get a response that helps you from your hospital.

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