Needing Help For My Father ASAP - Start here! - Prostate Cancer UK Online Community

User

Posted 15 Dec 2016 at 16:18

Hi Everyone,

Please bear with me, my names Rob, I am new to this site and forum like many, and have just been delivered a bombshell like many, and need some help, guidance and support if possible.

I attended the hospital with my father and mother on 13/12/16 for an initial biopsy for my father after his PSA came back very high in a blood test. We were hoping for the best but unfortunately, we received the news that we did not need to wait for the biopsy results to know that my dad has prostate cancer. He is 78, good health otherwise (Angina under control, HPP under control, slightly raised sugar). The nurse told us that he has had this for a while, he admits that he has had symptoms in hindsight for 6 months or more, but he is of an age where he is uneducated in health matters and a strong character and like many I would imagine didn’t think it was anything to worry about. His PSA came back 1300, the team have requested an urgent CT too make sure it hasn’t spread and we are to return for biopsy results on the 30/12/16 (Happy New Year!) and we are awaiting (desperately the CT appointment). My father seems well enough, he’s lost a bit weight, but has been skipping eating junk food etc. due to slightly raised sugar, but is complaining of moderate pain in his chest and shoulder areas (which I am praying is tension and stress related at the diagnosis as they arose around the same time!?).

I am hoping that with the wealth of experience and people facing a similar situation they could maybe help me with where to start trying to help my father fight this, lie everyone I love the bones of him, he has been a rock and supportive my entire life and owe him everything, and it’s now his sons turn to go into battle for him. I know its vast question .... but can someone please help with some advice and guidance.

Thankyou in advance for any help, advice, guidance and support, I know you will know how desperate I am and how grateful I am for any help.

Rob.

User

Posted 16 Dec 2016 at 18:34

Hi Rob welcome to our group ,you will have to wait for your Fathers results to see what treatment plan will be available, post them here when you get them , you can also phone the specialist nurse on here if you do not understand anything all the best Andy

User

Posted 16 Dec 2016 at 20:49

Men with PCa are at various points in their journey which has been aptly referred to as being on a 'rocky road'. Until a full diagnosis is obtained, we don't know where he is and even then some men will respond better to some treatments than others. Do let us know the complete diagnosis when this is given.

Barry

User

Posted 16 Dec 2016 at 21:05

Rob

Have you downloaded the Tool kit available on this site?

It will give you a lot of information about what treatments are available for your Dad - whatever the outcome of his tests are.

Others are far more knowledgable than me, but there are a range of treatments depending upon how for the cancer has spread.

This waiting is the worst part, especially over Christmas, when everyone else seems so happy.

If there was something to make it easier to bear, I would say what it was, but you just have to wait it out and be thankful that you have realized there is a problem so that you can now address it. leaving it to fester unknown to anyone would be the worst scenario.

It seems like you are having prompt treatment - which is a good reflection on your dads medical team.

Your Dad is very lucky to have you in his corner and it will help him greatly to deal with this disease.

I wish you well

Alison

User

Posted 16 Dec 2016 at 22:15

Hi Rob

So sorry that you find yourself here Rob, but I know from my own experience that there's a wealth of help and knowledge and comfort to be had from members...

The suggestion that you should download the toolkit is a good one. Plus you can phone the specialist nurses and/or chat to them on line or email. They have been really useful at moments of panic (and I've had plenty of those). As others have said, once you have a fuller diagnosis you will find plenty of people who will pitch in with specific advice.

Only thing I would say while you are waiting for the scans is that if your dad has any significant bone pain, or weakness in the legs, very high or very low temperature, you should phone your GP, or your consultant immediately. This happened to my partner and we spent 48 hours faffing around wondering if we should bother anyone (!) before deciding to call the hospital. The upshot was that we were seen within the hour and treatment with hormone therapy was started immediately (with almost immediate positive effect) rather than us having to wait for all the various test results.

Your relationship with your dad is clearly a very special one and I'm sure that your support will make a huge difference to him. It does get less frightening once the treatment plan begins and you know what you are dealing with and feel a bit more in control.

Best wishes. Do keep us updated.

Eleanor

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