Hello Liv and welcome to the site.
Yes cancer forums like this one (especially this one) are very very helpful. We have people on here, men, wives, partners, who will all share their knowledge and experience with you.
Could you supply any further information ie
What was his latest PSA
What is his Gleason score
Just because he has been told that the cancer is inoperable does not mean that it isn't treatable, even if it's gone to his bones.
We have men on here in the incurable camp. They know they will never get better and that eventually PC will be their Nemesis but does that stop them living their lives to the full. No it doesn't
Unfortunately you now have it fixed in your mind that Inoperable means his life is over. There are many treatments available now and many more coming on stream all the time.
He is just starting (and so are you) on his new life, his new normal and once you both have the treatment plans in place you will find it easier to calm down and be more accepting.
Please do not despair at this stage.
Please, please, please do not Google random sites because not all of them are relevant to our NHS service and there are a lot of horror stories out there as you have no doubt discovered.
Yes, it is easy to want to deck those kind hearted people who assure you that if you have to get cancer then Prostate cancer is the best one to get because they can just whip it out and all will be well. We had the same said to us. Also the quote that more men die WITH it than of it. No help at all when you've just been given the rotten news
People mean well and often they don't know what else to say so think they are being encouraging.
It is true that if it's caught early enough then treatment can be successful and lead to a full cure.
When he goes for the results it would be best if somebody went with him to take in all the information. Go to publications on this site and download the free Toolkit, a lot of information on which you may be able to base some questions.
Write them down and also write down the answers. You are both unlikely to remember them when you get home, or may well hear the answers differently to each other.
I'm sure you'll get more reassurance from others on here. Sundays, and Bank holiday ones at that, mean the site is likely to be a little quiet so you may need patience.
Best Wishes
Sandra
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We can't control the winds - but we can adjust our sails |
User
First, stop googling. Most information on the internet is about common prostate cancer and may not be relevant to your dad.
Second, stop trying to guess what might happen - you don't have enough information yet and the information you have is confused.
For example, can you remember more precisely (or if you weren't there, can someone who was tell you) exactly what was said about the cancer being in the wall? This could mean a number of things including a) it has pushed up against the edge of the prostate gland and started to break out b) it has affected the sling of muscles in the pelvis c) it is a very rare type of cancer which affects the outside surface of the prostate rather than the inside.
As you can imagine, the outcomes and treatments for these are significantly different and none of them can be solved by 'whipping it out' so you may be best to stop talking to lots of well meaning people who want to help you but don't know any more than you do. Best thing you can do for dad is to be calm and wait for the full set of results and advice of the doctors next week.
Spread to the bones, if it does happen, is not the worst thing. We have members who are still here many years later despite lots of bone involvement. Find out what you are dealing with first.
"Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards." Soren Kierkegaard
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User
Hi
Thans for responding!
His Gleason level is 7 and his psa is 7.4
The cancer is classed as prostate as it is in that area but it's not in the prostate gland itself. It's on the wall of the structure that holds the prostate. Never heard of it before.
User
He may have squamous cell carcinoma of the prostate or basal cell carcinoma - these are both very rare and quite difficult to treat so if that is what he is told next week, they will perhaps suggest a combination of different treatments. He may not have either of those though, since his PSA is a little bit raised.
"Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards." Soren Kierkegaard
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User
Thankfully it hasn't spread to the bones. They started him on Casodex and now waiting for appoinment with Oncologist to discuss radiotherapy.
I asked the consultant what his PSA was and he told me that it was irrelevant but it was 5.8 at the last check.
User
Not good news Wtf but it could have been a lot worse eh.
I'm sure you'll get a lot of good advice but at least now you both have a starting point.
Best Wishes
Sandra
We can't control the winds - but we can adjust our sails |
User
Yes - thanks, it could have been a lot worse.
This forum is good though and there are some interesting stories which help.