Dad question again

That's a rather general thing Bee - does he mean stuck in the back of his neck or he has a stiff neck or he feels there is something stuck in his throat????

It is important to remember that not everything that happens to him is going to be due to the cancer. Depending on the previous questions, has he changed his pillows recently or slept awkwardly? Are any of the spinal mets at the top of his spine or are they all lower back? Are his lymph glands swollen in which case has he got a temperature and possibly a throat infection?

Perhaps most important, can he swallow normally? If in doubt, phone GP or NHS direct for advice.

This is so difficult for you. There are laws that mean the GP and other medical staff wouldn't usually be able to share information with you without dad's consent but there isn't any legislation that prevents you from sharing info with the GP. Could you try phoning the GP tomorrow morning to tell him some of the signs & symptoms that you are worried he won't be honest about .... or failing that, drop the GP a note in the morning (if the surgery is near where you live) saying that you don't think dad is being honest with medics about how poorly he feels and you are concerned that dad is in a bit of denial.

That done, I think you will have to learn to respect dad's choices and wishes, even if that means more pain and anxiety for you and your mum. It may be that dad knows exactly how ill he is but is choosing to keep that from you and choosing not to have the medical care that could make him more comfortable ... all you can do is continue to love him and hope he changes his mind, but you won't be able to change his mind for him.