4 years ago i was diagnosed and had RT and so far so good.
The first 3 weeks after diagnosis was so bad. I was completely inside myself and distraught. My wife did all the research and pulled things together. She also went to work and had her mum to look after. During that time i never thought about the impact on her.
After 3 weeks and talking to people and realising my scores weren't high and the cancer could be dealt with I came round and decided to fight it. My doctor advised me to increase my time in the gym so i would be fitter after the op. I love going to the gym so a great excuse to go more!!
Also i realised i did not want my wife to have to worry so much about me so i aimed to be positive and try to be as normal as possible. I also followed this aim after the op. Apart from the first week of being so tired and groggy when i couldnt do much, i tried afterwards to be as independent as i could.
Now the tables have turned. My wife was diagnosed with breast cancer last August and she is stage 3. She had an op which was successful but the medication she is on makes her so tired from the effect on her bones and muscles. She already had osteo arthritis and this condition has now worsened.
Now suddenly i understand how she must have felt when i was diagnosed. But of course my story so far has been easier and i am on the mend. Breast cancer is so different. So many complications and sadly its a long battle.
I like to think that my experience has helped me cope and deal with my wife's condition. I feel quite strong and do whatever i can. But mentally it's quite drainng and its not good to see her in pain and so tired. We have just returned from a holiday in the sun and in the last week she could hardly walk. I had to move her around in a wheelchair at the airports on return and so relieved to get back safely. Today she has her 6 monthly check up so you can imagine its not something we are looking forward to.
I am using this post as a way of talking about it as both my wife and I put positive faces on in front of family and friends. But when we are alone we know things are worse than we tell. Also as she is struggling to walk its becoming evident to others that things are not going well.
Everyday lots of people are diagnosed with cancer of some sort and this then has a massive effect on family. but its only in the last year that i understand the effect it has on the close family and partners.