Hi Helping Hand
My partner decided not to tell the family until we simply couldn't hide the symptoms any longer so I understand how very tough that is for both of you. Members on this site were such an amazing help - advice, jokes, hugs and support - so glad that you have started posting since I'm sure you will find it a huge help.
One piece of advice in hindsight; I think I didn't always shout enough, just tended to accept what the medics said and didn't always push for clarification or swifter treatment. Once I realised that this was necessary, and based on the experience of the forum members, we started to take more control and that was helpful psychologically I think. As someone has mentioned, chemo is often used with HT once the cancer has spread to the bones. Unless there's a good reason to wait until January perhaps you should ask for a rapid referral. At its best the chemo can reduce PSA level and bone spread and that can lead to improved energy levels and lessen bone pain. Might also be worth speaking to the PC nurses to get some advice about fatigue and diet.
If your husband can be persuaded to tell the family sooner rather than later I'd certainly advise it - that additional practical support and emotional understanding is worth the world.
Hope things start to feel a bit more positive soon. Hugs.