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Starting Over

User
Posted 02 April 2015 00:47:28(UTC)

Mo, you should never hesitate to post what you are thinking and feeling - you are so far from home but I hope you know that we are only a heartbeat away x

"Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards." Soren Kierkegaard


User
Posted 02 April 2015 01:39:19(UTC)
Originally Posted by: Online Community Member
This is not what I was going to post, but thinking of you as always SS. XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
BFN
Julie XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX


Julie you are without a doubt my SS

xx
Mo

User
Posted 02 April 2015 23:28:05(UTC)
Our last day in Hawaii today, just popped back to the condo to check in for our flights tomorrow. For me a very long day sitting around at airports and waiiting initially and then running between gates with only 45 mins between leaving one flight and connecting to the one through to Atlanta and my family in Georgia. Once there I have some big decisions to make, some I have to make soon as some of you already know following receipt of the awful news about the death of my elder sister Jen yesterday. Very sudden and unexpected another crunching blow in my life and for my whole family. She was only 69 and was my unofficial Mum through all of my early years before she left home to marry aged 19 and passed that role down to my other older siblings, me being the baby of the family. My heart bleeds for her Husband of 50 years, an annniversary we all celebrated in October last year.

Other decisions are more about me and how I take my life into the next new normal for me after all I am only 57. I have been offered a new volunteer role at the hospice and also have the chance to go back to work on a part time basis. Do I stay put in the bungalow on the outskirts of Lincoln that I shared with Mick for 9 years after our move from Milton Keynes or do I start out somewhere new? A whole lot of other smaller things that are all interlinked like a spider web having dependencies upon each other. One bad decision for one thing and the whole plan becomes spoiled.

I will sit by Mick's tree and mull things over,soon it will be a whole year since he died and I promised myself I would make no major decisions before then. I hate it that I talk to him but he doesn't answer me Back. He once had a very tacky t shirt that said "I have not spoken to my wife in days" across the front and then on the back it said "I can't get a word in edgeways" it made everyone that knew us laugh especially when they found out I bought it for him mostly as a self deprecating joke. I am good at those.

It is quite incredible the number of things that have come into my mind while I have been sat on the balcony listening to the splish splash of the ocean below. Watching the whales blow , off in the distance, the turtles swim by right below and the amazing sunsets night after night.

Mostly happy and funny things and because of Jen some sad ones.

So here I go again another journey begins as I start over.
xx
Mo
User
Posted 03 April 2015 00:22:02(UTC)

Mo,

I'm so sorry to hear of your sad news.  I find it really hard to find the right words to say.  You have done so much to help others on this site in spite of having to cope with the loss of Mick.  You don't deserve anymore heartache.  I wish I could take your pain away.

We're all here for you.

Steve

xxx

 

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User
Posted 03 April 2015 03:02:14(UTC)
Mo , words from me may not help but I am sorry that you have had to bear so much pain. Life is difficult to understand that is for sure. The sound of the ocean seems to alway help me get things into perspective I hope this helps you also. You have some big decisions to make soon. Starting over must be a daunting prospect but you are a strong, resilient woman by all accounts. Take it easy and I am sure you will decide wisely . At 57 you have many, many more years of life to look forward to and I wish you well. Cheers Georgina
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User
Posted 03 April 2015 09:00:54(UTC)
My sincere condolences Mandy, on the loss of Jen, I can only imagine how hard this is being so far away, even harder than if you were here and could at least do something. It's been a rough ride for you, the year of Mick's illness was traumatic in the extreme and now this. I know you didn't really want to make this journey to the States but it does sound as though, despite this latest sadness, it has given you the opportunity to mull over ideas for what is next for you. You are a dynamic, amazing, wonderful person, articulate and kind but never patronising, you have a great future ahead, you have so much to give and are still young enough to do it. I totally agree about waiting a year before making any big decisions, as you know my sister made hers in haste and came to regret many of them. Time may not heal but it can give perspective.

My dear friend, I hope you can feel this hug from across the ocean blue.


Allison xxxxx
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User
Posted 03 April 2015 09:19:43(UTC)
Mo

So sorry to hear of your loss, thinking of you.

Thanks. Chris and Dawn
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User
Posted 03 April 2015 09:53:17(UTC)

As I said further up, we are only a heartbeat away from you. I am a great believer that the really dreadful hand is only given to the people strong enough to bear the load. This is a tragedy for everyone involved but knowing something of you, I worry that you will come home and move straight into that 'supporting everyone else' role that has been your default for so long.

As for the other stuff, let it wait Mo. I am pretty sure we will all mull it over together at MOTS.

You are on my mind x

"Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards." Soren Kierkegaard


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User
Posted 03 April 2015 20:17:30(UTC)

Mandy Mo,

What a time you are having , life can be so very hard and Jen's death coming so soon after Mick you have barely been able to draw breath before you have been knocked down again. I know that you will get through this but I also know this is another blow before you have properly dealt with Mick's passing.

I know that you are heading to Atlanta at least there among family you can allow your thoughts and feelings to come to the surface. As you said you can sit awhile at Mick's tree , he won't be able to answer you but I am sure he will hear you. I think this will make you feel a bit more at peace. 

As for making your new decisions don't rush yourself , I think that you maybe needed more time anyway and this is why you felt low at the thought of change. I read somewhere once that the first stage of grief can be anything up to 5 years and I would agree with that . Not that I am suggesting you should wait 5 years because you will be at least 36 . 

We all care and are thinking of you, you are one special lady . I will never understand why some people can sail through life with no trauma, nothing out of the ordinary happening and others just seem to get one knock after another. 

Stay strong SS , sit with Mick for a while and let the love from all of us wash over you.

BFN

Julie X

NEVER LAUGH AT A LIVE DRAGON
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User
Posted 03 April 2015 20:41:09(UTC)
I am so sorry to hear of the death of your sister. Please accept my sincerest condolences.
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User
Posted 03 April 2015 22:06:53(UTC)

Hello Mo,

So sorry about Jen.

dave

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User
Posted 04 April 2015 08:05:47(UTC)
I am in the air now on my way to Atlanta, amazing I can access the forum from here when so many have had problems on terra firma.
I am so grateful for all the wonderful and supportive messages from everyone both on here and via email or fb it means more than any of you will ever know.
There has to be a post mortem on Wednesday but the coroner has given my family permission to go ahead with the funeral arrangements so I am now trying to get flights sorted out so that I can get home in time.
Just wanted to let you all know how much I appreciate you.
Xx
Mo
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User
Posted 04 April 2015 08:41:30(UTC)
Oh Mo
I have been thinking about you since I read your post yesterday what can I say sometimes words aren't enough wish I could give you a big HUGG .
I know you are a strong woman but please let the tears fall you need to let it all out.
As for all the things you need to sort out it's to early Mo Julie Lynn Si will help you when its time.
As for talking to Mick and he dosent answer back I know that feeling .
When you mentioned the tee shirt made me think about Eric's his was WIFE FOR SALE.
I know how much you are hurting right now and it wont go away anytime soon but somehow we manage to cope.
Thinking of you .
Carol xx
I know you have family to talk to about what the new normal should be but sometimes they are to close. thats why I said the girls will help you with this sorry Si for calling you one of the girls.
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User
Posted 04 April 2015 10:03:27(UTC)

Carol, you pop up every so often with exactly the right thing to say. What can we do to persuade you to one of our get togethers sometime? I would love to give you a hug x

"Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards." Soren Kierkegaard


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User
Posted 04 April 2015 10:41:05(UTC)

Hi Mandy,

I have always said to Ness when i have gone follow your dreams and the memories will follow you X

But going back part-time, if that is London forget it

Carol, after 30 months on HT you got it right, i feel like one of the girls

Safe journey Mo will talk when you are settled in again.

XXXX

 

Don't deny the diagnosis; try to defy the verdict
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User
Posted 04 April 2015 11:45:37(UTC)

Dear Mandy,

We were so shocked and saddened to hear of the tragic loss of your sister.

More sorrow for you to bear, and our hearts go out to you.

Thinking of you now, knowing that you will stay your positive strong self, even if your heart is breaking again.

But let those tears flow if they want to, please.

 

So so sorry Mo.

 

 

Sincere condolences,

 

George, Lynn & Katrina

xxx

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User
Posted 04 April 2015 12:12:42(UTC)

Mo

The people who know you and those who don't have rallied as usual. But you need to take heed of their advice. It's less than a year since this awful disease took Mick and now this awful blow.

As others have said you have thrown everything into supporting others. Perhaps now is the time to reflect but not to make any rash decisions.

Thinking of you and hopefully you can feel all the virtual arms reaching out to give you hugs

Take care

Bri x

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User
Posted 04 April 2015 20:06:50(UTC)
Dear Mo, sorry to hear your sad news. And I can imagine how difficult it is to be so far from home.

Interesting to hear Julie say it can take up to five years to find our new normal. I know I read when my first husband left me that it takes between two and five years to become the person we will be after any life changing event. As later this month it will be five years since I lost Mike I can look back and see how I have adapted my life to suit my needs, and with time it has been so much easier and straightforward. I imagine you will tackle your choices in a similar way and find a purpose that suits you.

Looking back I can say for me if I was unsure of an important decision I needed to make, where I could I waited until the answer came to me, and it did. Of course some decisions had to be made but little is irreversible or results too dreadful and there are lovely people around to offer advice and support. And I have done so much I would never have done, finding strength along the way, although giving in to tiredness when it has come along. Memories have become comfortable, I have got used to silently talking to Mike, often making decisions I know he would have suggested, somehow we just know what they would suggest, don't we? Initially feeling a little guilty if I chose a path he wouldn't have done, and smiling triumphantly when it worked! Learning from it when it didn't too.

Looking forward to catching up at the MOS in June.

Take care, Janet
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User
Posted 04 April 2015 20:23:12(UTC)

Mo, I am also adding my condolences on the loss of your sister.

As a fellow 57 year old I empathise with your feelings about where to go now and what to do. There have been times I havn't wanted to go on anymore but I have my dogs and they motivate me to get up and keep going. It is like making a life for myself that I have to have rather than the life I want which is with Neil which I can't have. I send you my love as always,

 

Fiona. x

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User
Posted 04 April 2015 22:08:07(UTC)

Hi Mo,

FWIW, Where to go now, what to do, decisions that if they have to be made, should be made so that they can be undone if necessary.

atb

dave

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User
Posted 05 April 2015 01:44:10(UTC)
I made it to Atlanta after a gruelling 21 hour day of flights, waiting, time changes etc. Lovely to be with my family here and of course to go and say Hi to Mick by his tree. I do wish we could post photos on here so you could see how beautiful it is. I will send some to George and he can put them on B2PCa.
George you will be delighted to hear that my Nephew and Brother have pursuaded my Brother in Law to use the tickets they have as season tcket holders to go and watch the Black cats play the Magpies, Jen would have very much approved and will be rooting for another 4-1 thrashing. I half expect the wake party to be at the Miner's and workingmens club in Bowburn with meat and potato pies and pease pudding. Jen is having a Humanist fueral service with a woodland burial it wwill be right up her street as they say up North.
To all of you that have taken time to post and send me great advice, hugs, best wishes and as Julie would say "The Love" thankyou.
I chatted with Mick in a one waay conversation today and I know he would be telling me much the same as you all are, so I am listening and I will take notice.
So at 9.40 East Coast USA time I am having a very large glass of wine and saying cheers to my big sister Jen the best Mum I ever had.

Si I plan to call in on you on my way to the North East on Tuesday 14th ...will message you
Julie , as I now have a whole week of nothing time after the funeral I plan to come to you with edible gifts, your cocunut shells etc on the way back to Southampton around 23 April.
xx
Mo
User
Posted 06 April 2015 19:28:32(UTC)
Thinking of you Mo, Take care.
Lesley xx
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User
Posted 06 April 2015 20:20:57(UTC)
Mo, I am always saddened to read of anyone's troubles on this forum, you have had too many in too short space of time, my condolences to you. As for the future you will come to the right decision for you at some stage and only you will know when that is. Kev
Dream like you have forever, live like you only have today
Avatar is northern lights whilst running in Iceland sept 2017
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User
Posted 06 April 2015 21:48:06(UTC)

BIG HUGS Mandy, hope it all sorts itself out.


Chris and Shirley xxxx

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User
Posted 09 April 2015 16:14:54(UTC)

The post mortem concluded my sister Jen died from viral pneumonia she did not suffer.

Years of being very under weight and smoking contributed.

Just goes to show PCa , other cancers, heart attacks snd even what starts out as 'man flu' or being hit by a bus ...when, how or what fate decides is out of our hands.

xxx

Mo

User
Posted 09 April 2015 16:39:45(UTC)

Sorry to hear this news Mo, but at least it is not a health issue for you or your family to be worried about moving forward.

atb

dave

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User
Posted 09 April 2015 16:45:34(UTC)

Mo, I am so sad for you; the trauma of a sudden loss is sometimes made all the worse by the need for a post mortem. You are in my heart - safe journey home x

"Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards." Soren Kierkegaard


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User
Posted 10 April 2015 07:58:42(UTC)

Pneumonia , at least you know have answers to what happened although the very thought of a post mortem is dreadful . My one thought when I heard this is I don't think she would have suffered in any way. When Trevor had it at Xmas by the time the ambulance arrived he was totally out of it. 

Come home safe , thinking of you every day.

BFN

Julie X

NEVER LAUGH AT A LIVE DRAGON
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User
Posted 10 April 2015 14:07:34(UTC)

been down to Micks tree and said farewell until october. There is a huge srorm heading this way so i am hoping like crazy that it does not delay my flights and getting home.Discovery of time travel cannot come soon enough for me.

 

best wishes for everyone happy weekend.

xx

 

Mo

User
Posted 12 April 2015 21:13:01(UTC)
Hello Mo
just got your PM wont let me reply to you.
That is a big YES to your question thats why I did edit my post.
Would have loved to have told you what has been going on like you faced with other horrid issuses.I will try again on Monday to PM you.
Sending Best Wishes to You take care
Carol x
User
Posted 12 April 2015 21:24:31(UTC)
Carol
bless you i thought it would be hard for you too is your mail box full you may need to archive some messages. if you go to inbox and it says your message box is ful or close to 100% you will have to delete or archive before you can send a new message or reply.
xx
Mo
User
Posted 12 April 2015 22:02:22(UTC)
Mo it's not my inbox will report it on Monday,
Carol x
User
Posted 17 April 2015 21:14:17(UTC)
So the funeral was awful for more than just emotional reasons but it is done so no point dwelling.
In the meantime we have witnessed many emotional posts from others and I feel as though my problems are tiny in comparison.
Bereavement is always hard but it is final, complete and cannot be changed.
Living however is always open to options and change even though it may not seem complete, it is still living and must be enjoyed to the full.
As TG always said life is for living.

I will say adios ish to this conversation I am not expecting to post again here but who knows, ??
Best wishes
Xx
Mo
User
Posted 17 April 2015 21:36:45(UTC)

Sorry to read that the funeral "was awful" beyond expected.

But, wanted to say, we all have problems, and in the big scheme of things some more serious than for others. But, the problem that WE have to deal with is still significant for each of us, and therefore not at all tiny or insignificant, and still needing to be dealt with. You may not post here any more? Maybe you are too far along your journey from "starting over"? Maybe you are now "moving on" or "making progress"?

Life IS for living. Mo - LIVE yours!

atb

dave

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User
Posted 17 April 2015 22:22:58(UTC)

SS as Dave says moving on, slowly but certainly moving forward yes with set backs but moving on. Life can only be lived going forward it doesn't have a reverse button. Will you post on this thread again ? Never say Never that's one of my mottos . Thank you so much for my goody bag (delivered by Si) . My Turtle is just magical I love it.

I know you have to go at everything full throttle , it wouldn't be you to do it any other way.

So looking forward to seeing you I will have the kettle on. X

BFN

Julie X

NEVER LAUGH AT A LIVE DRAGON
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Posted 18 April 2015 05:26:36(UTC)
Thanks Dave and Julie for your greatly valued support, I do feel as though losing Jen has in some strange way made me even more aware of the need to do all the things that mean so much to me.
I kind of hope I have no need to continue this thread although I do sometimes come back and read bits of it to remind me how far I have come. So moving on? ...In some areas yes but in others not so much so but most definitely making progress.

As you say Julie never say never.. Ginger and tumeric cake will be baked on Tuesday ready for Trevor to consume on Wednesday.

Naturally I will be posting on other people's threads as this forum is one of those aforementioned things that mean so much to me.
Happy weekend one and all
Xx
Mo

User
Posted 18 April 2015 08:56:55(UTC)

You sound so purposeful and goal directed which is really great. There will be times when you need to stand back and see how far you have come but it feels as if you can now move on to new horizons which must be exciting and scary in equal proportion. You are such a great support for others and a source of inspiration it is so important to draw on that support yourself when you need it.

Looking forward to meeting up soon.

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User
Posted 18 April 2015 10:34:10(UTC)
Mo

Keep posting if you can, you're such an encouragement to us all and have a great deal of wisdom and experience to pass on.

Arthur
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User
Posted 18 April 2015 13:04:17(UTC)
Oh Mo
What good positve positive posts from your friends on here.
3 steps forward then 2 steps back dealing with what ever is thrown at you.One step at a time is good and positive yoir doing fine at your own pace and still have the time to care about others with the PM you sent me yesterday.
Will get back to you soon Mum's being extra special today she is hard work sometimes.
Carol x
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Posted 11 May 2015 21:56:19(UTC)
Here I am again that woman who said this thread should be just about finished .... obviously not as satrting over is actually a lot longer process than I thought it ever would be.

I have just had the most amazing weekend, those who know me on FB will already have seen this but I just felt sharing it on here would offer a little more ecouragement to others. Ironically I always thought these posts would help other widows but several men have told me they also give reassurance to them for reasons that are not always so obvious.

Anyway I have to say that 1 year ago I could not have envisaged myself walking 1k let alone running so to complete the 5k color dash with Family Scott was a bit of a triumphant moment OK we were not fast but we finished about halfway down the 2500 strong field. I slowed us down having had minor surgery to remove a suspect mole from my groin just 10 days earlier. The run meant so much to me that I pleaded with the surgeon to do whatever she could to give me a fighting chance of being able to take part. She removed it and then proceeded to use plastic surgery skills to pack it and stitch it very neatly and with tiny little stitches. They were removed on the Wednesday before the run with the nurse telling me it was incrediby neat and would not scar. I did think to myself who the heck would ever notice in a place wehere the sun doesn't shine? maybe she thought i had a day job in something a lot more saucy than working as a volunteer in our local hospice !! Biopsy results will be in some 2 -3 weeks later, they are obviously not too concerned so neither am I, I have learnt not to worry about things I can't change.

That brings me on to the post event BBQ for those lovely people who came to the showground or offered moral support from nearby on a cold, windy and slghtly overcast day and yelled us all through the finish line covered in powder paint, wearing muticolour tutus and sporting our own art work T shirts. The twins had done theirs with personal tributes to Mick, things they had remembered like playing Os and Xs with him, his yellow and red stripey sock monkey and a cruise ship as well. Brought a lump to my throat and a tear to my eyes.

Due to the inclement weather we redesigned my longe/dining room by bringing randomly selected furniture indoors , well, I have to add here I didn't I was busy grilling outside under the verrandah whilst sipping a little chardonnay and putting the world to rights with Julie aka Trevor Boothe. The A team managed to make a 16 seat dining suite complete with tablecloths and individual place settings (very impressive) whist others helped me with cullinary matters.
We ate pretty well and all chatted away happily. Countryboy55, 99 or whatever vintage he is this week led the clearing up team and they did a fabulous job. There was not a dish left for me to wash the next day big thanks for that.


Definitely doing this again next year, I slept that night dreaming of a sub 30 minute time in bright glorious sunshine. Our hospice will be 600 quid better off for our efforts and thanks to all of you here who contributed alongside famiilies and friends. Latest figures from the hospice are that a staggering 150k has been raised already.

I slept so well I was late getting going for the next big adventure .. off for Sunday lunch at a riverside pub in Newark with the Scott family and Karen (for those that do not know Karen was widowed 2 months after me and was married to the legendary TopGun aka Barrington Newman)
Another wonderful afternoon and Tommy came too (TGs teddy) I so wish I could post just a photo or two on here the food was amazing and the company matched it too. Thanks Si for everything.xxx

I am so very blessed to have such an incredible group of friends from this forum, my own family and frends do a wonderful job of looking out for me, but this group understand in a different way one only we can understand.

Those that came this year are all already invited for next .. if more come and the weather is bad we may be having a garage party!!

My thanks go to SiNess and family, Countryboy, Brianissac and Lesley, TrevorBoothe and family and Yorkhull for making Saturday so special and to Siness and family and Karen for the same things on Sunday. Also to everyone who sponsored our efforts on saturday.
You are all special people.

Roll on MOTS
xxx
Mo
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User
Posted 11 May 2015 22:36:00(UTC)

I heard that down at the pole dancing club, they have all been talking about how neat your stitches are 😳

Roll on MOTS indeed - looking forward to a bit of a hug x

"Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards." Soren Kierkegaard


User
Posted 11 May 2015 22:37:49(UTC)

In fact, as soon as I mentioned your party trick to them, the MOTS management agreed to fit a pole just for the day!

"Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards." Soren Kierkegaard


User
Posted 11 May 2015 23:11:00(UTC)
Lyn
i thought being a pole dancer might help with my running...legging it from angry men who expected a long legged blonde!!

xx
Mo
User
Posted 11 May 2015 23:30:40(UTC)

Well done, Mo. I doubt that I could run 500m, so I have great admiration for you. You can always send me a PM with a picture of you pole dancing!

Paul

Stay Calm And Carry On.
User
Posted 12 May 2015 07:49:59(UTC)

It was a great day and for a worthy cause. You ness and the girls did great.

And, as I have said before, your bbq skills are second to none...lovely food and great company

See you soon

Bri x

User
Posted 12 May 2015 14:24:33(UTC)

What a great post Mo.

 

It's so good to see you doing so much and having fun doing it after all sadness of the past year.

 

Your pole will be fitted in the conservatory/restaurant at the MOS on Saturday, around 6pm, in good time for the hordes to arrive for their evening meals and usual madness.

 

LOOKING FORWARD TO SEEING YOU PERFORM!

 

You're some woman!

 

 

 

George

x

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Posted 12 May 2015 18:21:04(UTC)
Oh no please do not make me the dinnertime cabaret ..the very thought of me pole dancing when people are trying to eat is scary, in fact the thought of me pole dancing is downright terrifying fullstop.

I think an alien must have abducted me to even think anything slightly saucy, worse still they lifted Lyn Eyre at the same time and gave her the whole pole idea....ALIEN if you are out there please bring the real Mo and Lyn back
well at least before June 19th.!

I can suggest an alternative cabaret act, as Lyn is coming Bollywood style maybe she could do the dance of the seven veiled virgins or something.

I am going to be far too busy catching up with the Ladies wot lunch drinking Chardonnay and convincing my step daughter that I am not having a late mid life crisis !!

xxx
Mo
User
Posted 12 May 2015 19:43:00(UTC)

OOH ERRH Pole dancing give me a few GTs and I would at least try that for sure, of course I would end slightly Twisted and very UN SEXY but a good laugh would be had by all , A&E would be in in fits of laughter . I would probably end up arrested for misuse of a telegraph pole (this has happened in the past) 

Some people climb Kilimanjaro , some swim oceans and fight sharks , some treck over deserts or to the North Pole. All of these people are Heroes , some people do much smaller things like a 5k run for charity and and then an ORRSOME BBQ  to me these are the real heroes in life because they are doing these things for others and for a good cause not for there own gratification . This is what I call real HEROES and we need more of them in life. Mandy Mo , my SS you are are truly one of lifes heroes and a pretty hot pole dancer .

Keep going you are ORRSOME. 

BFN

Julie X

 

NEVER LAUGH AT A LIVE DRAGON
User
Posted 12 May 2015 22:18:25(UTC)

Mo, it is many years since I could claim to have been a virgin but since John was diagnosed I have been heading back in that direction :-0

"Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards." Soren Kierkegaard


User
Posted 12 May 2015 22:34:07(UTC)
you ladies are bonkers but I love you all the more for it.

Julie SS was going to ring tonight but had a minor family crisis with my nephew who was on the phone from 9 until 11 ....I thought I had finished counselling the youth of today .. oh well will call tomorrow instead.

Your words are lovely but they are all super heroes, anyone who does good for someone other than themselves is a good person.

Me I just like making people happy... and trust me pole dancing would not achieve that !!
xx
Mo

 
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