OK regular, here I am, a woman, who can only imagine what your stresses are but I feel for you (and all you men struggling with ED and its accompanying problems)
You are unclear on whether you and your wife are very close (you appear to have left a word out and it could just as easily be the word "not") but you do not have a sex life. I'm not going to pry, not my business, but I assume you no longer have that sex life because of your PC.
As a woman, and a wife, I know that, for me, I would not want my husband to have to be underhanded in anyway when dealing with this kind of problem. Easy for me to say perhaps. Maybe you find it difficult to talk to each other about this side of your lives.
I am always going on about communicating with each other.
If the other half doesn't know how one of you feels (whether that is you or your wife) then the partner cannot help. Only you know what your circumstances are but I know how I'd feel if I found out my husband was struggling on his own.
As far as the feelings are concerned, well as sixfoot says, you still have those same hormones which are presumably producing this strong desire. What on earth is wrong with that!!
IF, for instance, you were single, would you then fret because you had these desires and masturbation was the only "cure"
As long as you are not standing in public, or forcing yourself on an unwilling partner, then stop worrying about it and "enjoy" it. Certainly don't feel guilty or the need to stop. Why on earth should you. It's perfectly natural isn't it. Is it the fact that you are in your mid sixties with the need to masturbate that worries you, and that you are not a teenager with sexual needs?
It isn't hurting anyone but you. If your wife would only be distressed by the knowledge, then keep it quiet and carry on discretely. If on the other hand it's the sort of thing she would be willing to participate in then pick your moment.
As a woman and a wife, I do not find your post disgusting or un-natural or any of those things. I just feel sad that you are distressed by it. Maybe I'm missing something from your post, something I cannot understand
I hope somebody can give you more insight into all of this for you to give you peace of mind.
We can't control the winds - but we can adjust our sails |
User
First of all I have got to say Sandra what a fabulous reply in fact a beautifully worded reassuring post.
So regular, here I am also a woman and one who also had many inhibitions and insecurities and like you felt really nervous and embarrassed talking to anyone about sexual matters. In fact I just didn't for a very long time. Bad mistake!
Prostate cancer kind of changes that for a man and also for his partner by nature of where and what it is and by all the side effects of surgery or treatment.
This forum really helps as everybody has similar issues.
What is happening to you is not bad or anything other than "regular" it is just natural hormones kicking in and making you feel the need for sexual relief. If masturbating relieves that ache and you feel at the moment this is your only option then just carry on. It will not harm you and is most definitely nothing to feel ashamed about.
I really just wanted to emphasise all that Sandra and others have said so you know that from a female perspective everything is fine.
Charlie Chaplin was still getting urges and leading an active sex life into his late 80s as I am sure other men do.
Finally I would add that as long as your regular check ups are showing that you are still in remission "cured" then you should not worry.
Very best wishes
Xx
Mo
User
Firstly, Steve, life has dealt you a terrible hand in the last 12 months or so. I sincerely hope that things pick up for you very quickly.
Regular - I am not a man of many words, but Sandra has expanded on the message I was trying to give you. I hope you find a way of dealing with your issue with your OH.
Paul
Stay Calm And Carry On. |
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User
I wish I had an answer for you but I am sure there are people on here who can help, I don't think I would feel guilty if you feel ok after masturbating if it relieves the feelings you have, personally I would tell my partner as it may help. I do hope you get the answers your looking for
S**T HAPPENS
User
You still have the same hormones - your feelings are natural. You have 3 choices as I see it:
a) find the right moment to tell her your feelings and ask her to help
b) ignore your feelings and stop, but in reality, why should you?
c) carry on as now.
Far and away the best thing would is option a - you never know, your sex life may pick up again!!!
Paul
Stay Calm And Carry On. |
User
OK regular, here I am, a woman, who can only imagine what your stresses are but I feel for you (and all you men struggling with ED and its accompanying problems)
You are unclear on whether you and your wife are very close (you appear to have left a word out and it could just as easily be the word "not") but you do not have a sex life. I'm not going to pry, not my business, but I assume you no longer have that sex life because of your PC.
As a woman, and a wife, I know that, for me, I would not want my husband to have to be underhanded in anyway when dealing with this kind of problem. Easy for me to say perhaps. Maybe you find it difficult to talk to each other about this side of your lives.
I am always going on about communicating with each other.
If the other half doesn't know how one of you feels (whether that is you or your wife) then the partner cannot help. Only you know what your circumstances are but I know how I'd feel if I found out my husband was struggling on his own.
As far as the feelings are concerned, well as sixfoot says, you still have those same hormones which are presumably producing this strong desire. What on earth is wrong with that!!
IF, for instance, you were single, would you then fret because you had these desires and masturbation was the only "cure"
As long as you are not standing in public, or forcing yourself on an unwilling partner, then stop worrying about it and "enjoy" it. Certainly don't feel guilty or the need to stop. Why on earth should you. It's perfectly natural isn't it. Is it the fact that you are in your mid sixties with the need to masturbate that worries you, and that you are not a teenager with sexual needs?
It isn't hurting anyone but you. If your wife would only be distressed by the knowledge, then keep it quiet and carry on discretely. If on the other hand it's the sort of thing she would be willing to participate in then pick your moment.
As a woman and a wife, I do not find your post disgusting or un-natural or any of those things. I just feel sad that you are distressed by it. Maybe I'm missing something from your post, something I cannot understand
I hope somebody can give you more insight into all of this for you to give you peace of mind.
We can't control the winds - but we can adjust our sails |
User
First of all I have got to say Sandra what a fabulous reply in fact a beautifully worded reassuring post.
So regular, here I am also a woman and one who also had many inhibitions and insecurities and like you felt really nervous and embarrassed talking to anyone about sexual matters. In fact I just didn't for a very long time. Bad mistake!
Prostate cancer kind of changes that for a man and also for his partner by nature of where and what it is and by all the side effects of surgery or treatment.
This forum really helps as everybody has similar issues.
What is happening to you is not bad or anything other than "regular" it is just natural hormones kicking in and making you feel the need for sexual relief. If masturbating relieves that ache and you feel at the moment this is your only option then just carry on. It will not harm you and is most definitely nothing to feel ashamed about.
I really just wanted to emphasise all that Sandra and others have said so you know that from a female perspective everything is fine.
Charlie Chaplin was still getting urges and leading an active sex life into his late 80s as I am sure other men do.
Finally I would add that as long as your regular check ups are showing that you are still in remission "cured" then you should not worry.
Very best wishes
Xx
Mo
User
Hi Regular,
Don't feel guilty, just be grateful you can.
I'm on hormone treatment which prevents me from ever having an erection or the desire to have sex.
I feel devastated than I can't because I miss the pleasure I once enjoyed and it makes me feel even more useless as a man because I can't satisfy my wife in the way I could at one time. Anything else is just not the same.
I think making love (or masturbating) is a great way to relieve stress. The more time goes on the more frustrated I feel because I can't. It's awful.
Steve
User
Firstly, Steve, life has dealt you a terrible hand in the last 12 months or so. I sincerely hope that things pick up for you very quickly.
Regular - I am not a man of many words, but Sandra has expanded on the message I was trying to give you. I hope you find a way of dealing with your issue with your OH.
Paul
Stay Calm And Carry On. |