Hi Steve
I've read through your posts this evening. It's hardly surprising you feel tired! Being tired is not just a result of physical exhaustion, but of mental exhaustion too. You've had cancer. You've had heart attacks. It's not surprising you're depressed, and it's not surprising you're tired. I feel tired for you.
Stop beating yourself up. Give yourself some recovery time. Spend some time trying to think of other ways you can make some money from your photography without the high pressure of weddings. Last thing you need at the moment is a bridezilla.
A few years ago, I had a few episodes of extreme panic attacks. One of my friends said that the best way to overcome anxiety in any form is to sit on the floor with your back against a wall. Look around you. Say out loud 5 things you can see, 4 things you can hear, 3 things you can touch 2 things you can smell and one thing you can taste. Take a deep breath between each one. It works for me.
I don't know you, and I don't presume to know how you feel, but I can imagine how I would feel if I had to deal with what you have had to deal with. And I imagine I would feel depressed, tired, fed up, worried and frightened.
One thing I have learned in the past few months is that there is no normal recovery time. Just normal for you.
Louise x