Things Aren't Working

User

Posted 16 Jul 2015 at 12:39

Steve,

If you have no luck with your GP you might want to find out if the oncology centre that treated you has any behavioural oncologists.

I did not get CBT through my GP. I went to the Oncology Health Centre (drop in centre) at the hospital where I had RT. They talked to me and within a few weeks offered me a CBT course. They told me if I tried to get this through my GP would take upwards of 9 months.

The therapists there are experts in helping people with cancer - because that is their focus.

If you could find a facility like this near you it might be good to talk to them?

Martyn

User

Posted 16 Jul 2015 at 19:45

Hi,
The doctor's appointment turned out to be a bit frustrating. Because I hadn't seen him before he spent most of the time reading the my notes (there are quite a lot, I imagine). I had an ECG yesterday and he was a bit concerned with what it showed but when I told him that I had had a heart attack (he somehow missed that in my notes) he said that explains why my heart is not performing as well as it should. He decided to up my beta blockers (stand by for my moans about dizziness in the coming weeks).

As regards my recent mood problems, these weren't discussed in detail as there wasn't the time. All he said is that I should find things a bit easier as the increased dose of anti-d's will take time to kick in.

I'm going to ring the MacMillan Wellbeing people up to see if they can help and contact my cancer care nurse to see if I might be able to get on a CBT course.

Steve

Edited by member 16 Jul 2015 at 19:51 | Reason: Not specified

User

Posted 16 Jul 2015 at 20:42

Hi Steve

Yes - continue to strike whilst the iron is hot and phone them tomorrow.

Keeping busy at appointments will help you to get through this and give you a purpose.

Might some voluntary work help to take your mind off things? It will also be a way to meet other people. You seem like a sociable person and getting out and about may be a tonic for you.

Alison

Edited by member 16 Jul 2015 at 20:51 | Reason: Not specified

User

Posted 17 Jul 2015 at 16:24

Steve

The doctor 'didn't have time'. That's exactly what you need. Did anyone go with you? For your next appointment, try and have all questions written down and an accomplice will help ensure that you don't leave before every issue that can be sorted is.

paul

Stay Calm And Carry On.

User

Posted 17 Jul 2015 at 16:35

As I said , it's awful for doctors as well as patients. Just no time. Whether I'm a man or not I ended up broken down in tears many times. Just broken. A Gud dr will take notice and take action. Take your loving wife and insist ( even if it takes 3 weeks ) on a double appt Steve. You must try to stick to the same dr or change if you don't like him her. They need to know you. Bother them. It's their job.
I hope this new dose kicks in for you. No shame. Open your heart offline if you can . Chris

User

Posted 17 Jul 2015 at 18:54

I've asked for a double appt before now and just told receptionist the Gp needs to go right back in my file to answer my query. Only time I've ever asked but at least we weren't rushed.

Mind you he's retirēd now and I can't see the others being so accommodating

Edited by member 17 Jul 2015 at 18:55 | Reason: Not specified

We can't control the winds - but we can adjust our sails

User

Posted 18 Jul 2015 at 00:11

Hi,

I seemed to have a much better day today. I think my increased meds are probably taking effect to some extent. Also a visit from our daughter and grandson really helped. It's such a nice feeling to see my grandson's smile when he arrives. He's fantastic.

I will try and get a double appointment next time but as I said, I was surprised he spend so much time reading my notes and sorting out my heart problems. I think he will be a good doctor but he was just under a bit of pressure as he was running quite late. He did tell me to make another appointment with him but he only works Wednesday to Friday.

Alison, I did try to contact MacMillan Wellbeing today, but the person I really needed to speak to, was off today. The voluntary work idea really appeals to me but at the moment, I desperately need to earn money to survive. Work has been so thin on the ground recently.

I would really like to do something to help, I have been trying to make people aware of the facts about Prostate Cancer, whenever I can. I often find talking to women as useful as talking to men about it as they will give the men in their lives, a "kick up the backside" to go and get checked if they have symptoms. I need to do this to help others avoid the mistake I made in ignoring symptoms for a couple of years until it was nearly too late for the chance of curable treatment.

A week on Sunday, I will be handing out PCa information with my local support group before running the men's "Race For Life" with the intention of raising of a bit of money for Cancer Research UK, though fundraising is a bit slow so far. I need to feel that I'm doing something useful.

I've been asked to write an article on Prostate Cancer for one of the papers I work for, so hopefully that may help a little.

Thanks everyone for your advice. I hope I can feel like this more often.

Steve

User

Posted 18 Jul 2015 at 07:30

Good to hear that you are feeling a little better Steve.

Now get the walking shoes on and get out in the sunshine.

If the doctor only works certain days and he is the one you want to see then make that appointment asap, as for a double you'll probably have to wait a while.

And Steve, you're already doing your bit under difficult circumstances so stop beating yourself up.

You are handing out the PCA info and talking to people. Then the race and the article. They all mount up.

As far as voluntary work goes, well you could still apply. I think there are things like CRB checks etc so that takes time too and once you are accepted you won't have to keep going through it.
They'll realise that you need to be available for work, it's not a contract situation is it, so I'm sure any charity will appreciate anything you can give them as and when you can.

Edited by member 18 Jul 2015 at 13:02 | Reason: Not specified

We can't control the winds - but we can adjust our sails

User

Posted 18 Jul 2015 at 09:39

And meeting people in a voluntary setting may lead to paid work.

As an example my mum suffers from depression quite badly, for different reasons. She started helping in a charity shop and met lovely new friends. This lead to her looking after a dog whilst friend on holiday. walking the dog round park she met other dog walkers. Now she exercises with one of them and word has got round she will look after dogs whilst people are away. Hence now she looks after a dog all summer for almost 3 months and this is great company for her and a small income too.

You never know what might happen if you get out there. will be more positive than staying at home!

good luck

Alison

User

Posted 18 Jul 2015 at 18:31

Hi Steve

Glad to hear your a bit better and had a visit from your grandson which helped. Try to be as positive as you can, we're all here to encourage you and we want to get you 'over the line' so to speak. You probably know but exercise helps the mind as well as the body so with the weather being pretty good lately try to get out if you're not doing that already. Ref volunteering my wife and I helped at a local Foodbank until it moved (my wife uses a wheelchair and couldn't get up the stairs!!), it was very rewarding but we did have to have CRB checks before we started. They also do food collections in our local supermarkets and are always glad of help for an hour or two.

Hope the work situation improves asap.

Take care, Arthur

User

Posted 26 Jul 2015 at 17:29

Originally Posted by: Online Community Member

Steve

Other long term members on this forum will tell you that I wrote the book on depression and anxiety caused by PCa.

I understand exactly where you are presently. Your mind is telling you that you have overcome it all but then, without warning or preparation, it sinks in that you still have the disease or at least in the past have had a cancer diagnosis and when you do, the cycle of apathy, tiredness, lack of a lust for life begins again. I believe it is the mind trying to protect itself by slowing down, almost with some people to the point of not being able to raise yourself from bed some mornings. In others, the feelings of despair are less so. Whatever it is and whenever it happens, it debilitated your life.

What I can tell you is that, at some point along the road, there is a place called Acceptance. It is when the brain tells the person tells the body tells the brain; a state where everything that you have been through and may yet have to go through, begins to make sense. It is then and only then when you realise that you have to grab life by the balls and embrace your illness now, not allow your mind to dictate the terms of it which will only stultify your enjoyment of life. Don't get me wrong, it is easier said than done and comes quite late in the journey to some as it does fortunately early to others. When it does come, however, acceptance brings some respite from the tiredness, the apathy, the detachment from everyday life, the willingness to engage with others, to work, to enjoy your life as you did pre-diagnosis.

I fully understand that you have lost your zest, presently, but it will return my friend, I assure you of that. When your mind finally realises the destruction that cancer can do both psychologically as well as physically, you WILL rise up and jump back into the cycle of life. You will once again enjoy holidays, making plans, drinking wine, seeing family, doing work, because the life that you live now is far more important than the cancer's potential to destroy it later on. It takes the individuals' mind to realise that though - and we are all different.

My mantra has been, ever since I reached a town called Acceptance, JUST DO IT and ALL YOU NEED IS NOW. I wish you well Steve and know that in your own good time, you will find peace in your situation that allows you to get the best out of the hopefully long life that you have left. To enjoy each day and lay down memories for those that you love. That is all a good man can ever do.

God speed.

Bazza (Barry)

I am still trying to get the hang of using this forum, but had to reply to your post Barry.

It has done me the world of good reading it, more than once.

I can only thank you and people like you for the help this gives.

I am in that town called Acceptance, but at the moment am loosing my way around, but hopefully improving as time goes on, and with the help of your post will make me a resident !!

Thanks again

User

Posted 26 Jul 2015 at 17:37

Originally Posted by: Online Community Member

Hi Steve,
I'm sorry to hear that you still have the black dog visiting.
I was in that situation a couple of months back, I ended up loosing my composure in the GP's office when asked how was I?
Long story short, I was put onto a course of 'happy pills' which have lifted me out of that large dark hole.

If you feel able I'd suggest approaching your GP with a view to treating the mental side of this horrible disease.

All the best mate,

Kevin

Steve, I just had to reply to your post, and say that I hope your feeling a lot better now.

You were one of those that replied to my very fist post on this forum, which did me the power of good.

I often re read them in my times of darkness, and they still do help, so I hope in some small way this will remind you and help you as it did me.

CHIN UP CHAP YOU STILL HAVE A FUTURE !

All the very best

User

Posted 26 Jul 2015 at 17:52

Old1, Let's make it a long-term tenure!

Edited by member 26 Jul 2015 at 17:54 | Reason: Not specified

User

Posted 26 Jul 2015 at 19:25

as the beatles song goes

The long and winding road
That leads to your door
Will never disappear
I've seen that road before
It always leads me here
Lead me to you door

The wild and windy night
That the rain washed away
Has left a pool of tears
Crying for the day
Why leave me standing here
Let me know the way

Many times I've been alone
And many times I've cried
Any way you'll never know
The many ways I've tried

But still they lead me back
To the long winding road
You left me standing here
A long long time ago
Don't leave me waiting here
Lead me to your door

But still they lead me back
To the long winding road
You left me standing here
A long long time ago
Don't keep me waiting here
Lead me to your door
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

nidge

run long and prosper
'pooh how do you spell love'
'piglet you dont spell love -you just feel it'

User

Posted 27 Jul 2015 at 10:40

Originally Posted by: Online Community Member

Old1, Let's make it a long-term tenure!

To Bloody true !!!!!

User

Posted 24 Aug 2015 at 18:48

Hi,

Admitted into the Cardiac Care Unit again this morning. Not what I wanted. Doesn't help me pay the bills as they want to keep me in. Suppose to be doing a job in the morning, my first work since last Thursday. Feel like giving in. Thought my heart was sorted.

Steve

User

Posted 24 Aug 2015 at 18:59

Hello Steve
I'm really sorry to hear yr bad news.
I do hope everything is ok, do you know why they want to keep you in.
I'm sure your new employer will be sympathetic and patient

I'm gunning for you and hope everything goes ok

Paul

User

Posted 24 Aug 2015 at 19:03

Hello Steve
Sorry to hear the old bugbear is back
Wishing you a speedy recovery
Best Wishes
Sandra

We can't control the winds - but we can adjust our sails

User

Posted 24 Aug 2015 at 19:23

Hi Steve

Sorry to hear you find your self in a bad place again.

It is easy for me to say but please don't give in.

Just wanted to say something to try and encourage you to be positive.

Hope all is sorted ASAP.

User

Posted 24 Aug 2015 at 19:32

Hi Steve

I have been away and no internet for a while, let us know how you are when you can.

As others have said, try not to get set back, you have done so well so far.

Alison

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