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User
Posted 01 Aug 2015 at 12:34
Hi,

I've not posted for a long time but have been a regular reader. I'm 12 months on now from my prostatectomy.

I'm still a relatively young fella at 45, I'm still having 2 monthly PSA tests & living with the after affects. Things are different now, though 'normal' for me & im getting more comfortable with who I am, my limitations & taking less for granted.

The natural erections are gone. I tried cialis, pump & now settled on self injections. I'm still wondering if it will come back to some degree but my GP has been really good & prescribes me as much as I like. Although there is ways & means on the occasions I don't use the injections. A good love life consists of far more than penetration & ive learned that now. It's a skill I wish I'd learned 20years ago!

I'm a bit of a dribbler. These are caused by the most bizarre events. Reaching for a stapler, lifting my foot to the break pedal. Random, just happens. I can hold my bladder as good as the next guy mostly apart from these events and exercise. Hard physical exercise, I run like a broken tap. I generally use 2 pads per day. After 12 months the incontinence nurse has finally been able to get me tena men pads rather than the unisex I had previously. This has boosted my confidence no end. I've worn only jeans since my op as these generally hide an accident more than trousers. I'm stepping slowly back into the world of trousers.

I'm a big supporter of local cancer support groups & charities. They have all been wonderful & I would encourage anybody to accept the help available.

I work in management of construction. It's always been hectic & stressful. Still is. I was taking citalopram pre cancer to help the anxiety after a particularly nasty project I was involved in knocked me about, still am but it's not so effective these days. I know how fortunate I am & im trying to cope better with the stress. I'm Thinking maybe it's time to take a back seat a little though & let the younger chaps take some of the hassle. I still have kids at uni & a long time to go before I can afford to pack it in.

All in all though, life is wonderful. I've ran 11 marathons in the past 12 months, (& happily peed myself for each without anyone knowing) have another 4 booked to the end of 2015 and will continue to run a marathon per month as long as I'm able.

Macmillan asked me to be a patient champion and help to represent them, alongwith other cancer patients with local privatisation of cancer treatment & end of life care. I'm a positive outcome & privileged to be a survivor.

Here's my story, I hope to continue recovery & be positive for many years to come ...

http://www.staffordshirecancerandeol.com/champion/carl-rushton/

Edited by member 01 Aug 2015 at 20:29  | Reason: Not specified

Life's a Marathon. Run in peace.

User
Posted 01 Aug 2015 at 16:53

C

Good to hear from you stranger and pleased that things are heading in the right direction.

Thanks Chris

 

User
Posted 01 Aug 2015 at 17:16

Good to hear from you again Carlos.

Pleased to read that you have adjusted to your new normal and still running!

Still time for even more improvement on all fronts according to info I've received from my medics..

Keep on runnin' http://community.prostatecanceruk.org/editors/tiny_mce/plugins/emoticons/img/smiley-smile.gif

Luther

User
Posted 01 Aug 2015 at 17:57

Hi Carlos,

Nice to read about your story and your attitude.

Your urinary control is likely to continue to improve I would hope, but I wonder if you have given it a chance to repair or heal? I found that running made me leak when during the day and night I was dry, the pounding on the treadmill would fill a pad that I did not need during the day. It got me down a bit, so I stopped running and settled instead for very brisk walking. This allowed me to train but stay dry, which improved my mindset. I kept at it with the weights and machines though. Have you considered allowing your urethra some rest from the pounding which may allow you to get drier quicker? Even a month off might give you a discernible improvement in the dryness stakes? And if after a month it does not improve you could go back to the running again? Just a thought. I have the odd very rare stress leak now, which I manage to catch at the first sphincter, for example I hit my head on a bar at the gym last week, the squirt got to first base but not home plate, went to the loo and kept dry pants.

Did you have nerve sparing surgery, either one or both nerve bundles saved? Depending on whether you did or not, natural erections may still return. I saw a specialist about 6 months later my RRP, and he said having had twitches and some movement within 2 months of surgery, I had a good chance of recovering NEF. He was right. He also sorted out some other issues for me, not mine, but which were affecting me badly in the EF department. In any case he said that recovery can take anything up to two years, and then improvements may still continue to happen. He and others were all clear about one thing, use to or lose it, I had to manipulate and play about with myself as much as possible to get the blood circulating to the damaged and knocked about tissue, what a hard life, well not really to begin with, but you get the idea.

Are you still on the Cialis?

Have you considered asking for a referral to an erectile function specialist? Well worth it, as with a year of data behind you , experience etc they may be able to give you an idea of what you may expect in time?

Your best aid to recovery is always going to be a supportive and caring partner, which you can not get from the NHS! ;-)

atb

dave

All we can do - is do all that we can.

So, do all you can to help yourself, then make the best of your time. :-)

I am the statistic.

User
Posted 01 Aug 2015 at 19:11
Hi Carlos,

So pleased you decided to post again. I've been wondering how things were going for you.

Great that things are going well for you, take care with the running, Dave's idea might be worth trying.

Wishing you good luck for the future.

All the very best,

Steve

User
Posted 01 Aug 2015 at 19:14
Carl welcome back, it is great to see you posting so positively. I like the news article as well it gives out some very poignant messages.

I do have one question, are you taking any medication for T2 diabetes ? Actos or metformin in particular as these can both cause ED as can Diabetes in general. So if you are taking them they may not help.

Your running training alone may be sufficient to keep your HBA1C tests in the acceptable range. Maybe something you can ask your medical team about?

Love your honesty about pre and post surgery sex. I'm sure you will get several posts like the ones you have had already giving great advice on improving continence or coping strategies and advising on ED and the help that can be given in that department too.

Happy running

Xx

Mo

User
Posted 01 Aug 2015 at 19:42
Hi Carlos,

Thanks for posting a detailed update, my husband age 46 had Da Vinci 3 weeks ago and this is good for him to read as it helps to hear from someone his age a bit further down the road. Also well done on the Marathons that's fantastic!

Best wishes,

Trish

User
Posted 01 Aug 2015 at 19:58

Thanks Trish,

Hope your husbands op went well & he's recovering nicely.

Life's a Marathon. Run in peace.

User
Posted 01 Aug 2015 at 23:48

Originally Posted by: Online Community Member
Hi guys & thanks for your lovely comments.

Dave, I've been to my clinical nurses who run a monthly ED clinic & they have sorted me with the pump & injections. To be fair, I'm not holding out much hope of a return. There's no live activity at all. It ain't the end of the world to me. Pre op, I thought it would be but like I said, there's ways & means & great other ways to have fun.

I do miss the ejacultion bit though. Kind of a conclusion on the whole thing & having my partner ask me if I 'came' is strange. My consultant said he had tried to spare the nerves as best he could & thought he had made a good job on one side & not bad on the other. Maybe I'm still healing.

I still take the cialis to encourage blood flow. My pump is gathering dust. To be fair, it's effective but it takes time for a good result & a huge passion killer for me. I understand that lots have success with it & I should be daily exercising with it but to be frank, I'd rather go for a run.

I don't make my situation a secret with friends & mates at work. In fact, I boast that I go for hours depending on the injection dose. That's another story though as in the early days, they were lasting for a painful 4hrs lol.

I'm accepting of the bladder situation too but still doing my pfe's!

Mo, great to hear from you too! I've been off Metformin for a while, my hba1c is thankfully under control at the moment. I've put over a stone in weight on over the past 12 months that I need to shift though. There's been a fair bit of comfort eating and drinking going on lol.

 

hi Carlos, 

This the time for you to get a grip of yourself.  This is not the time for niceties or to fanny about with gentleness and soft talk.  

"Pump gathering dust"?  Why?  You are only12 months down your line, you have a further 12 months to go, and more to get some recovery.

FGS.  Listen!  THIS is your "Golden hour", the window of opportunity where you can make the most of your potential sexual recovery and if you do not make the most of it your sexual recovery and future erectile function may be reduced.  It seems logical to me that in recovery your best chance to optimise recovery is to get at it and with it asap after the op. 

The point is, you have a chance to get some recovery now. Please do not let it go with out making the most and best of it.  

It is your choice at the end of the day.  

atb

dave

 

PS - if this seems like air, feel free to ignore it, but have a good weekend.

Edited by member 02 Aug 2015 at 06:41  | Reason: Not specified

All we can do - is do all that we can.

So, do all you can to help yourself, then make the best of your time. :-)

I am the statistic.

User
Posted 02 Aug 2015 at 07:08

Hi Carlos,

            I'm 14 months post op and still leaking, I do yoga, certain movements cause leakage but overall its getting better, I've recently been taking Cialis , somehow for me it encourages even more leakage, must be expanding the pipe works or something like that !

 I'm told by medics of all kinds, recovery can be a long process with many bumps in the road, I agree with that and hope there right, still have issues with ED, the pump and Cialis help but I'm not 100% there yet, I get easily discouraged using the damn things and lack motivation, it doesnt enhance a mans ego, always a mental and physical battle.

I do find that I now need to take a 5 minute nap in the afternoons to give me a quick recharge, this is something I believe has happened since my treatment ...or is it just me.

                                                                         good luck & take care

User
Posted 02 Aug 2015 at 17:44
Thanks Dave & Titanic. I've dusted the pump off & will get more use out of it. Even for just physio purposes. It's not the most comfortable of erections to use with it pumped up & rings which become a bit painful after a while. I also find that I'm particularly tender at the end when it's been forced full of blood.

Titanic, I find that in the aroused state (of mind) I dribble too. Must be the old chap trying his hardest.

If I think about it too much, it gets me down. I don't feel any less of a 'man' or sorry for myself. When I learned what side affects to expect I thought I would to be fair. I feel so lucky to be here. Doesn't help when people take such a blazey attitude with PC. Folks will say, 'ooh, it's the best cancer to have' or 'it's an easy fix these days'. They haven't got a bloody clue. Drives me nuts. I even had my optician say to me the other day, 'it's a wonder why prostates aren't removed in all men, it doesn't do anything does it?' That's an educated man apparently!!!!! It's a cruel cancer for a man to have. I wondederd what would happen, perish the thought if I ended up on my own again. Terrified me at first. Now though, Im of the mind to talk openly about my situation with all & they could take or leave it. Quite frankly, if it's the instant sex that's important to a woman, I don't think long term she would be the one for me at all.

Ooh. Rant over lol

Life's a Marathon. Run in peace.

User
Posted 04 Aug 2015 at 21:07

I note note that some comments and suggestions have been made about the lack of liquid pollutant, aka semianl fluid, that those of us who have had the RRP no longer produce when climaxing. And the fact that the "partner", "recipient" of said pollutant, may, without presence of said pollutant, not be aware that "arrival time" is approaching or has been in fact "arrived at" or "reached"?

So, how, practically, to overcome this lack of appreciation or perception or understanding?

Lets go back to basic communication skills shall we?

Before languages were developed there were visual communication methods. So, a sign? Why not? Already prepared as in Blue Peter "Here's one I made earlier" stylie. To be produced and utilised by you at the moment you arrive.

So there you are banging, sorry too blunt, how about humping, oops still too blunt for some, maybe dipping and undipping away for all you are worth at a steady cadence. Not too steady, variety is the spice of cadence. Maybe you have a metronome? Or a favourite piece of music, not the funeral march, that would be too slow, and might send your partner to sleep. It may take you longer to climax after the operation so perhaps you have been at it for some hours, knees and stomach muscles permitting, valiantly looking to achieve your goal. Your partner is, I don't know, compiling the shopping list for the next few weeks, painting his or her nails, vacuuming the ground floor, don't laugh, you may be following determinedly behind and still engaged? And when the moment arrives, having checked that it is okay with your better half you might tap them on the head or wherever and plonk a sign on front of their eyes that reads:

"OI, HELLO, IT'S ME, I AM BEHIND YOU, I AM THE ONE THAT HAS BEEN BANGING AWAY AT YOU FOR (insert time, or simply put) HAVE BEEN FOR A WHILE AND I "AM COMING NOW", or "ITS NOW". PLEASE FEIGN INTEREST AND APPRECIATIVE REACTION".

Just a thought.

Alternatively, if your partner has been surfing the web while you are beavering away, quite common I can assure you, a surer way of attracting their attention is to disconnect the router. Not the thing that you use to make holes or slots in wood or make joints, the machine that enables them to be online 60/24/24/7/365-6 ad infinitum. You may also need to extract the sim cards from phones and tablets and anywhere else sim cards may be installed, maybe on their head? Disconnecting them from the web is akin to sticking a large orange in their mouth and restricting their breathing, it will heighten their experience as their primary need to "breathe" aka "beingonline" is restricted. A word of warning, DO NOT leave them disconnected for too long, NO MORE than 20 seconds, they will not survive. You could send them an email? Or Facebook message? Or tweet? Or Instagram? anything online will get there attention sooner than you speaking to them or nudging them.

atb

dave

All we can do - is do all that we can.

So, do all you can to help yourself, then make the best of your time. :-)

I am the statistic.

Show Most Thanked Posts
User
Posted 01 Aug 2015 at 16:53

C

Good to hear from you stranger and pleased that things are heading in the right direction.

Thanks Chris

 

User
Posted 01 Aug 2015 at 17:16

Good to hear from you again Carlos.

Pleased to read that you have adjusted to your new normal and still running!

Still time for even more improvement on all fronts according to info I've received from my medics..

Keep on runnin' http://community.prostatecanceruk.org/editors/tiny_mce/plugins/emoticons/img/smiley-smile.gif

Luther

User
Posted 01 Aug 2015 at 17:57

Hi Carlos,

Nice to read about your story and your attitude.

Your urinary control is likely to continue to improve I would hope, but I wonder if you have given it a chance to repair or heal? I found that running made me leak when during the day and night I was dry, the pounding on the treadmill would fill a pad that I did not need during the day. It got me down a bit, so I stopped running and settled instead for very brisk walking. This allowed me to train but stay dry, which improved my mindset. I kept at it with the weights and machines though. Have you considered allowing your urethra some rest from the pounding which may allow you to get drier quicker? Even a month off might give you a discernible improvement in the dryness stakes? And if after a month it does not improve you could go back to the running again? Just a thought. I have the odd very rare stress leak now, which I manage to catch at the first sphincter, for example I hit my head on a bar at the gym last week, the squirt got to first base but not home plate, went to the loo and kept dry pants.

Did you have nerve sparing surgery, either one or both nerve bundles saved? Depending on whether you did or not, natural erections may still return. I saw a specialist about 6 months later my RRP, and he said having had twitches and some movement within 2 months of surgery, I had a good chance of recovering NEF. He was right. He also sorted out some other issues for me, not mine, but which were affecting me badly in the EF department. In any case he said that recovery can take anything up to two years, and then improvements may still continue to happen. He and others were all clear about one thing, use to or lose it, I had to manipulate and play about with myself as much as possible to get the blood circulating to the damaged and knocked about tissue, what a hard life, well not really to begin with, but you get the idea.

Are you still on the Cialis?

Have you considered asking for a referral to an erectile function specialist? Well worth it, as with a year of data behind you , experience etc they may be able to give you an idea of what you may expect in time?

Your best aid to recovery is always going to be a supportive and caring partner, which you can not get from the NHS! ;-)

atb

dave

All we can do - is do all that we can.

So, do all you can to help yourself, then make the best of your time. :-)

I am the statistic.

User
Posted 01 Aug 2015 at 19:11
Hi Carlos,

So pleased you decided to post again. I've been wondering how things were going for you.

Great that things are going well for you, take care with the running, Dave's idea might be worth trying.

Wishing you good luck for the future.

All the very best,

Steve

User
Posted 01 Aug 2015 at 19:14
Carl welcome back, it is great to see you posting so positively. I like the news article as well it gives out some very poignant messages.

I do have one question, are you taking any medication for T2 diabetes ? Actos or metformin in particular as these can both cause ED as can Diabetes in general. So if you are taking them they may not help.

Your running training alone may be sufficient to keep your HBA1C tests in the acceptable range. Maybe something you can ask your medical team about?

Love your honesty about pre and post surgery sex. I'm sure you will get several posts like the ones you have had already giving great advice on improving continence or coping strategies and advising on ED and the help that can be given in that department too.

Happy running

Xx

Mo

User
Posted 01 Aug 2015 at 19:25
Hi guys & thanks for your lovely comments.

Dave, I've been to my clinical nurses who run a monthly ED clinic & they have sorted me with the pump & injections. To be fair, I'm not holding out much hope of a return. There's no live activity at all. It ain't the end of the world to me. Pre op, I thought it would be but like I said, there's ways & means & great other ways to have fun.

I do miss the ejacultion bit though. Kind of a conclusion on the whole thing & having my partner ask me if I 'came' is strange. My consultant said he had tried to spare the nerves as best he could & thought he had made a good job on one side & not bad on the other. Maybe I'm still healing.

I still take the cialis to encourage blood flow. My pump is gathering dust. To be fair, it's effective but it takes time for a good result & a huge passion killer for me. I understand that lots have success with it & I should be daily exercising with it but to be frank, I'd rather go for a run.

I don't make my situation a secret with friends & mates at work. In fact, I boast that I go for hours depending on the injection dose. That's another story though as in the early days, they were lasting for a painful 4hrs lol.

I'm accepting of the bladder situation too but still doing my pfe's!

Mo, great to hear from you too! I've been off Metformin for a while, my hba1c is thankfully under control at the moment. I've put over a stone in weight on over the past 12 months that I need to shift though. There's been a fair bit of comfort eating and drinking going on lol.

Life's a Marathon. Run in peace.

User
Posted 01 Aug 2015 at 19:42
Hi Carlos,

Thanks for posting a detailed update, my husband age 46 had Da Vinci 3 weeks ago and this is good for him to read as it helps to hear from someone his age a bit further down the road. Also well done on the Marathons that's fantastic!

Best wishes,

Trish

User
Posted 01 Aug 2015 at 19:58

Thanks Trish,

Hope your husbands op went well & he's recovering nicely.

Life's a Marathon. Run in peace.

User
Posted 01 Aug 2015 at 23:48

Originally Posted by: Online Community Member
Hi guys & thanks for your lovely comments.

Dave, I've been to my clinical nurses who run a monthly ED clinic & they have sorted me with the pump & injections. To be fair, I'm not holding out much hope of a return. There's no live activity at all. It ain't the end of the world to me. Pre op, I thought it would be but like I said, there's ways & means & great other ways to have fun.

I do miss the ejacultion bit though. Kind of a conclusion on the whole thing & having my partner ask me if I 'came' is strange. My consultant said he had tried to spare the nerves as best he could & thought he had made a good job on one side & not bad on the other. Maybe I'm still healing.

I still take the cialis to encourage blood flow. My pump is gathering dust. To be fair, it's effective but it takes time for a good result & a huge passion killer for me. I understand that lots have success with it & I should be daily exercising with it but to be frank, I'd rather go for a run.

I don't make my situation a secret with friends & mates at work. In fact, I boast that I go for hours depending on the injection dose. That's another story though as in the early days, they were lasting for a painful 4hrs lol.

I'm accepting of the bladder situation too but still doing my pfe's!

Mo, great to hear from you too! I've been off Metformin for a while, my hba1c is thankfully under control at the moment. I've put over a stone in weight on over the past 12 months that I need to shift though. There's been a fair bit of comfort eating and drinking going on lol.

 

hi Carlos, 

This the time for you to get a grip of yourself.  This is not the time for niceties or to fanny about with gentleness and soft talk.  

"Pump gathering dust"?  Why?  You are only12 months down your line, you have a further 12 months to go, and more to get some recovery.

FGS.  Listen!  THIS is your "Golden hour", the window of opportunity where you can make the most of your potential sexual recovery and if you do not make the most of it your sexual recovery and future erectile function may be reduced.  It seems logical to me that in recovery your best chance to optimise recovery is to get at it and with it asap after the op. 

The point is, you have a chance to get some recovery now. Please do not let it go with out making the most and best of it.  

It is your choice at the end of the day.  

atb

dave

 

PS - if this seems like air, feel free to ignore it, but have a good weekend.

Edited by member 02 Aug 2015 at 06:41  | Reason: Not specified

All we can do - is do all that we can.

So, do all you can to help yourself, then make the best of your time. :-)

I am the statistic.

User
Posted 02 Aug 2015 at 07:08

Hi Carlos,

            I'm 14 months post op and still leaking, I do yoga, certain movements cause leakage but overall its getting better, I've recently been taking Cialis , somehow for me it encourages even more leakage, must be expanding the pipe works or something like that !

 I'm told by medics of all kinds, recovery can be a long process with many bumps in the road, I agree with that and hope there right, still have issues with ED, the pump and Cialis help but I'm not 100% there yet, I get easily discouraged using the damn things and lack motivation, it doesnt enhance a mans ego, always a mental and physical battle.

I do find that I now need to take a 5 minute nap in the afternoons to give me a quick recharge, this is something I believe has happened since my treatment ...or is it just me.

                                                                         good luck & take care

User
Posted 02 Aug 2015 at 17:44
Thanks Dave & Titanic. I've dusted the pump off & will get more use out of it. Even for just physio purposes. It's not the most comfortable of erections to use with it pumped up & rings which become a bit painful after a while. I also find that I'm particularly tender at the end when it's been forced full of blood.

Titanic, I find that in the aroused state (of mind) I dribble too. Must be the old chap trying his hardest.

If I think about it too much, it gets me down. I don't feel any less of a 'man' or sorry for myself. When I learned what side affects to expect I thought I would to be fair. I feel so lucky to be here. Doesn't help when people take such a blazey attitude with PC. Folks will say, 'ooh, it's the best cancer to have' or 'it's an easy fix these days'. They haven't got a bloody clue. Drives me nuts. I even had my optician say to me the other day, 'it's a wonder why prostates aren't removed in all men, it doesn't do anything does it?' That's an educated man apparently!!!!! It's a cruel cancer for a man to have. I wondederd what would happen, perish the thought if I ended up on my own again. Terrified me at first. Now though, Im of the mind to talk openly about my situation with all & they could take or leave it. Quite frankly, if it's the instant sex that's important to a woman, I don't think long term she would be the one for me at all.

Ooh. Rant over lol

Life's a Marathon. Run in peace.

User
Posted 02 Aug 2015 at 17:51
Carl

I see Countryboy has posted for you again, trust what he is saying to you if you find any of the explicitness is a tiny bit embarrassing pm him I am sure he would not mind.

From what I know about use it or lose it you have to keep stimulating the penis any way that you can and keep the circulation going. As a T2 diabetic your circulation may be a little compromised so Cialis or similar and using the pump will help.

Which pump have you got is it the best one for you? dig it out and check. Most important of all start using it.

Sex is such an important thing and can be so much fun as well as incredibly pleasurable.

If your partner is happy to really work with you then remember that this is a private time nobody is judging you or watching, what you do is entirely up to you, talk about it and try anything you are both happy with. sometimes you might end up falling about laughing but at least you are doing it together!!

Your sexual recovery is a journey which can take 2 years or more, you say you have already learnt loads so keep learning!!

As for lack of ejaculate as a woman I personally would say hooray! Some might disagree but not everyone is Linda Lovelace and it does mean nobody sleeping in the damp patch! You may also find letting your partner know you are reaching orgasm will help her to intensify it and learn how to recognise it without ejaculate.

I wish you all the very best

Xx

Mo

User
Posted 02 Aug 2015 at 17:54
Sorry Carl we both posted simultaneously..
User
Posted 02 Aug 2015 at 19:23
Thank you Mo for your kind words. I've taken note. Anyway. 'Linda Lovelace'!!! I had to google to see who she was! I'm

Shocked, quite shocked lol. I must have had a very quiet upbringing in this quiet moorlands village in Staffordshire .😜🙈

Life's a Marathon. Run in peace.

User
Posted 02 Aug 2015 at 20:17
Ha ha Carl

She was headline news in my youth but I have more than 10 years on you . Attitudes changed so much in those post 60s days. I also had a very sheltered youth and remember my mum reading the carpet baggers by harold robbins, she found it in my bedroom . She very innocently asked me what cunnilingus was ...OMG I nearly died of embarrassment. If you had known my mum you would understand why...

Laughing now just thinking about it!

Xx

Mo

User
Posted 02 Aug 2015 at 22:27
Hi Mo

It's another Irish airline isn't it?

Arthur

User
Posted 02 Aug 2015 at 22:32
Arthur

That is what I told my mum!

Xx

Mo

User
Posted 03 Aug 2015 at 08:45
Hahaha,

Why does Everything I get involved in, generally turns to filth.

This forum is fab. I agree on the airline though.

😜

Life's a Marathon. Run in peace.

User
Posted 04 Aug 2015 at 21:07

I note note that some comments and suggestions have been made about the lack of liquid pollutant, aka semianl fluid, that those of us who have had the RRP no longer produce when climaxing. And the fact that the "partner", "recipient" of said pollutant, may, without presence of said pollutant, not be aware that "arrival time" is approaching or has been in fact "arrived at" or "reached"?

So, how, practically, to overcome this lack of appreciation or perception or understanding?

Lets go back to basic communication skills shall we?

Before languages were developed there were visual communication methods. So, a sign? Why not? Already prepared as in Blue Peter "Here's one I made earlier" stylie. To be produced and utilised by you at the moment you arrive.

So there you are banging, sorry too blunt, how about humping, oops still too blunt for some, maybe dipping and undipping away for all you are worth at a steady cadence. Not too steady, variety is the spice of cadence. Maybe you have a metronome? Or a favourite piece of music, not the funeral march, that would be too slow, and might send your partner to sleep. It may take you longer to climax after the operation so perhaps you have been at it for some hours, knees and stomach muscles permitting, valiantly looking to achieve your goal. Your partner is, I don't know, compiling the shopping list for the next few weeks, painting his or her nails, vacuuming the ground floor, don't laugh, you may be following determinedly behind and still engaged? And when the moment arrives, having checked that it is okay with your better half you might tap them on the head or wherever and plonk a sign on front of their eyes that reads:

"OI, HELLO, IT'S ME, I AM BEHIND YOU, I AM THE ONE THAT HAS BEEN BANGING AWAY AT YOU FOR (insert time, or simply put) HAVE BEEN FOR A WHILE AND I "AM COMING NOW", or "ITS NOW". PLEASE FEIGN INTEREST AND APPRECIATIVE REACTION".

Just a thought.

Alternatively, if your partner has been surfing the web while you are beavering away, quite common I can assure you, a surer way of attracting their attention is to disconnect the router. Not the thing that you use to make holes or slots in wood or make joints, the machine that enables them to be online 60/24/24/7/365-6 ad infinitum. You may also need to extract the sim cards from phones and tablets and anywhere else sim cards may be installed, maybe on their head? Disconnecting them from the web is akin to sticking a large orange in their mouth and restricting their breathing, it will heighten their experience as their primary need to "breathe" aka "beingonline" is restricted. A word of warning, DO NOT leave them disconnected for too long, NO MORE than 20 seconds, they will not survive. You could send them an email? Or Facebook message? Or tweet? Or Instagram? anything online will get there attention sooner than you speaking to them or nudging them.

atb

dave

All we can do - is do all that we can.

So, do all you can to help yourself, then make the best of your time. :-)

I am the statistic.

User
Posted 04 Aug 2015 at 21:45
The image this conjures up had me splurging my wine....

Ha ha

Scuse me got to get on fb

Xx

Mo

User
Posted 05 Aug 2015 at 03:22

I know John got there when his knees buckle :-0

"Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards." Soren Kierkegaard

User
Posted 09 Aug 2015 at 11:53
Ha. Luckily I'm accustomed to marathon running endurance athletics & can 'go' for hours if I pace myself right.

Luckily, we have a detached house so noisy indications not a problem.

It gets better doesn't it. 👍

Life's a Marathon. Run in peace.

User
Posted 09 Aug 2015 at 16:12

I usually find an utterance of "YEEEHAAA" usually suffices followed by doing my version of the macarena

Bri

User
Posted 09 Aug 2015 at 16:13

Or possibly the gangnam style dance lol

Bri

 
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