Dad - not looking good

Paul

You and your family are in our thoughts.

Chris and Dawn 

At the moment, I have got my practical head on, although it does now possess a splitting ache, mainly due I think to lack of sleep last night. I am hoping a good night's rest will prepare me for all the admin over the coming days.

Thank you for all the supportive comments. They are much appreciated.

Paul

Maureen

My sincere condolences to you and your family.

My sincere condolences on the loss of your dad, RIP.

Regarding your mum, this was what my mother was like and for months we'd remind her that dad had died (she often said he'd run off with some woman!). It was truly awful to witness the shock on her face each time so after a while we stopped and told her he had gone to work and she would accept that. I don't know if your mum has a similar condition to my mum's (it was vascular dementia) and she was mainly happy as long as we kept the truth from her.

A really hard time for you Paul, I hope you find a way to make it easy on you all.

With my sincere condolences

Allison

It's now over 3 weeks since dad's funeral, and dealing with his death has seemed much less emotionally painful than dealing with his dying. I have had my practical head on my shoulders dealing with mum, her memory loss which causes great difficulty, and all the issues that need attention after a death. I have also had a busy time socially, although not as much golf as I would have liked, but when I sit down in the evenings, I have just felt worn out, hence the lack of posts in the last 4 weeks.

Mum has been away with my brother and her younger sister this week, which has enabled me to deal with many of the practical matters. Another 2 weeks should see most loose ends tied up. My brother says she has not showered whilst away, and she hasn't at home either for some while. She wears the same clothes constantly, and her inability to plan and do what to most of us is a straightforward task is worrying. I feel she might not be able to stay at home for too much longer, but persuading her she needs more help will, I think, prove to be exceptionally difficult.

One issue has really annoyed me, and I would appreciate any feedback on this as I feel this could be a major issue for all of us.

My dad paid £3200 for a funeral plan in January, but the amount claimed back by the funeral director was £1200 less. Dad probably thought he was doing us a favour, but is it morally correct for a financial institution to take this kind of money off an 86 yo who is terminally ill, knowing what the cost would be substantially less? I just feel that this is the worst example of capitalism where a company has taken money and sold an inappropriate product regardless.

Thanks for any replies on this.

Paul

Hi Paul , welcome back you've been missed . This has outraged me and feel you should get full recompense without it costing you much . But then again there is always the dreaded small-print grrr . Let us know how you get on.
Well done truly for coping so well
Chris

Yes, I was discussing this with John this morning and it seemed so outrageous that we did come to the conclusion that Paul's dad took out some sort of plan in the past to cover up to £3500

I accept that leaves £2000 in the "pot" so it would seem that the funeral directors didn't do the usual insurance bumping up of prices to increase the costs, especially as they were paid upfront.

Or have I misunderstood that again?

The cost of the funeral was just over £2k that the policy paid for. What I would like to know is what question were asked, what advice he was given.

He knew he was terminal as he'd arranged the anniversary meal in August although the end may have come slightly quicker than expected.

I have asked my aunt to ring up to see what she is asked and what advice is offered. My guess is they'll try and take your cash whatever, although I may be doing them a disservice. As Lyn says all credit to the funeral directors. If they'd charged £500 more I would not have been so perturbed. I'll certainly be doing more digging and maybe approach a national paper as I'm sure many terminally ill people have been taken for a ride. I think we'll be hearing g a lot about the activities of these companies in the coming months /years.

Paul

Lyn

I'm now trying to catch up with everyone. I am close to getting on top of all admin matters but this is something I am determined to publicise. Seniors day at the golf club tomorrow. I will try and find the experiences of others. I am still convinced my dad should have been told this plan was not suitable in his situation.

Paul