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Bit of a set back

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User
Posted 07 Jan 2016 at 22:33
My husband had a RP 10 weeks ago. Whilst the spirit might be willing, the flesh is totally asleep so we're well into the area of ED, no surprise there of course, and tbh after 10+ years of chronic Prostatitis, it makes little impact into our lives though it's good that he's at least free from the terrible pain caused by ejaculation.

We've recently moved house, after years of brilliant support from our previous GP who guided us to the PC diagnosis through thorough and careful monitoring across the years. Consequently, we hadn't met our new GP, having only had contact with the hospital so far. Two days ago, we saw our MacMillan nurse who gave us a form to take to the GP to gain a prescription for a vacuum pump etc. My husband saw the doctor this morning, who wasn't vaguely interested in the patient before him at all: there was no 'hi, pleased to meet you' or ''how have you been following surgery?' or suchlike, but simply the words 'what do you want me to do with this? OK, here's a prescription. Next please'.

Breaks my heart really. This process is, as everyone knows so well, really hard, very isolating, totally humiliating and emasculating (I could go on!) and my lovely hubby has coped heroically but to be treated so dismissively was a real knock. It seems from reading other posts that it's possible to have great support from one's GP, and today's experience was really unexpected. There are other doctors at the practice so we'll make sure we don't see today's chap (who unfortunately is the practice's senior partner) again, but isn't it bad that they're not trained to show at least some element of empathy and compassion? It wasn't like he was wasting the doctor's time.

Sorry about the moan - I feel better for sharing though!

User
Posted 08 Jan 2016 at 10:36

Phatbouy,

I understand only too well how you are feeling......

My previous GP had a similar way with him..... He wouldn't even raise his head from the computer screen to look at me..

Just kept on typing when I was talking to him.... not a bit interested

I changed my GP in the end.... but these days I never get to see him any way...he's never there!

I usually end up seeing a locum....
Luther

User
Posted 07 Jan 2016 at 22:33
My husband had a RP 10 weeks ago. Whilst the spirit might be willing, the flesh is totally asleep so we're well into the area of ED, no surprise there of course, and tbh after 10+ years of chronic Prostatitis, it makes little impact into our lives though it's good that he's at least free from the terrible pain caused by ejaculation.

We've recently moved house, after years of brilliant support from our previous GP who guided us to the PC diagnosis through thorough and careful monitoring across the years. Consequently, we hadn't met our new GP, having only had contact with the hospital so far. Two days ago, we saw our MacMillan nurse who gave us a form to take to the GP to gain a prescription for a vacuum pump etc. My husband saw the doctor this morning, who wasn't vaguely interested in the patient before him at all: there was no 'hi, pleased to meet you' or ''how have you been following surgery?' or suchlike, but simply the words 'what do you want me to do with this? OK, here's a prescription. Next please'.

Breaks my heart really. This process is, as everyone knows so well, really hard, very isolating, totally humiliating and emasculating (I could go on!) and my lovely hubby has coped heroically but to be treated so dismissively was a real knock. It seems from reading other posts that it's possible to have great support from one's GP, and today's experience was really unexpected. There are other doctors at the practice so we'll make sure we don't see today's chap (who unfortunately is the practice's senior partner) again, but isn't it bad that they're not trained to show at least some element of empathy and compassion? It wasn't like he was wasting the doctor's time.

Sorry about the moan - I feel better for sharing though!

User
Posted 08 Jan 2016 at 01:32
Its a pity u couldnt have stayed with same practise

We are hoping to move in a few month albeit about 4mile away but intend to stay with same dr as we have a good relationship

Hope u find a better dr at the practise

Regards.nidge

run long and prosper

'pooh how do you spell love'

'piglet you dont spell love -you just feel it'

User
Posted 08 Jan 2016 at 09:02

Hi, what a disgusting situation from a health professional! Apart from never seeing him again and hopefully getting better support from another GP do you think a letter of complaint to the practice administer that would possibly get this mentality dealt with? He may be the senior partner there but would still have to comply with the terms of their practice to patient commitments and perhaps a kick up the backside to remind him why he is there in the first place would embarrass him enough to eat humble pie and apologise to your husband.

Hope you get some satisfaction.

Regards Chris/Woody

Life seems different upside down, take another viewpoint

Edited by member 08 Jan 2016 at 09:03  | Reason: Not specified

User
Posted 08 Jan 2016 at 09:27

Phatbouy I've just posted on GP charges about GP attitudes and I know what you mean.

Many years ago I had to get a form signed by the GP and I had been sent there by the S.S. following redundancy and I was still under the hospital for treatment. I had a year to go before retirement.

The doctor concerned was so dismissive and verbally abusive that it stunned me. I came home in a bit of state and telephoned the social security people straight away and told them what had been said and why. They were very supportive and steered my onwards.
The more I: thought an bout the treatment I had received the more cross I got so back I went to ask to speak to the practise manager. I didn't want to make it an official complaint but I did feel that I had to explain what happened and ask for reassurance that nobody else in the same situation would get the same treatment.
She listened, was horrified and ask me to put it in writing which I did, emphasising that it wasn't an official complaint just a reminder that the patients are human beings with dignity and should be treated as such.

Many many weeks later, and only after chasing it up, I received a written reply which basically said he'd been having a bad day but they took on board the fact that the situation could have been dealt with more sympathetically and the doctors as a whole had been reminded of this. It wasn't an apology as such but was all I was going to get.

You could try a politely worded letter to the practise manager I suppose but if he'd the senior partner it'snot likely to go far.
I've never seen that doctor since and that was 18 years or so ago.

I do feel for you and your husband. You'll have to put it down to his ignorance and move on. Try one of the others like I did yesterday. You may be pleasantly surprised.

Good luck and best wishes

We can't control the winds - but we can adjust our sails
User
Posted 08 Jan 2016 at 22:05
There is no excuse for bad manners and rudeness, and that's what you've had.

I used to work as a radiographer, and there was always the 'what's the difference between God and a senior doctor' joke. You shouldn't let them get away with it. Complain and then ask for a different GP.

And, just in case you didn't know, God doesn't think he's a doctor.

Louise x

User
Posted 09 Jan 2016 at 12:49

So sorry to hear about your husbands experience,it has impacts which affect you both.If only this people who inflict this type of behaviour could be made to see how it affects others.It makes me so grateful to have a good GP(which is of no use to you whatsoever).The advice of seeing someone else within the practice is sound.If this man is the senior partner then talking to the practice manager might still not have any effect as it depends on how much he or she is prepared to "rock the boat".I hope your husbands next doctor experience is better.Best of luck to you both.

Best Wishes.

Polarbear2.

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User
Posted 08 Jan 2016 at 01:32
Its a pity u couldnt have stayed with same practise

We are hoping to move in a few month albeit about 4mile away but intend to stay with same dr as we have a good relationship

Hope u find a better dr at the practise

Regards.nidge

run long and prosper

'pooh how do you spell love'

'piglet you dont spell love -you just feel it'

User
Posted 08 Jan 2016 at 09:02

Hi, what a disgusting situation from a health professional! Apart from never seeing him again and hopefully getting better support from another GP do you think a letter of complaint to the practice administer that would possibly get this mentality dealt with? He may be the senior partner there but would still have to comply with the terms of their practice to patient commitments and perhaps a kick up the backside to remind him why he is there in the first place would embarrass him enough to eat humble pie and apologise to your husband.

Hope you get some satisfaction.

Regards Chris/Woody

Life seems different upside down, take another viewpoint

Edited by member 08 Jan 2016 at 09:03  | Reason: Not specified

User
Posted 08 Jan 2016 at 09:27

Phatbouy I've just posted on GP charges about GP attitudes and I know what you mean.

Many years ago I had to get a form signed by the GP and I had been sent there by the S.S. following redundancy and I was still under the hospital for treatment. I had a year to go before retirement.

The doctor concerned was so dismissive and verbally abusive that it stunned me. I came home in a bit of state and telephoned the social security people straight away and told them what had been said and why. They were very supportive and steered my onwards.
The more I: thought an bout the treatment I had received the more cross I got so back I went to ask to speak to the practise manager. I didn't want to make it an official complaint but I did feel that I had to explain what happened and ask for reassurance that nobody else in the same situation would get the same treatment.
She listened, was horrified and ask me to put it in writing which I did, emphasising that it wasn't an official complaint just a reminder that the patients are human beings with dignity and should be treated as such.

Many many weeks later, and only after chasing it up, I received a written reply which basically said he'd been having a bad day but they took on board the fact that the situation could have been dealt with more sympathetically and the doctors as a whole had been reminded of this. It wasn't an apology as such but was all I was going to get.

You could try a politely worded letter to the practise manager I suppose but if he'd the senior partner it'snot likely to go far.
I've never seen that doctor since and that was 18 years or so ago.

I do feel for you and your husband. You'll have to put it down to his ignorance and move on. Try one of the others like I did yesterday. You may be pleasantly surprised.

Good luck and best wishes

We can't control the winds - but we can adjust our sails
User
Posted 08 Jan 2016 at 10:36

Phatbouy,

I understand only too well how you are feeling......

My previous GP had a similar way with him..... He wouldn't even raise his head from the computer screen to look at me..

Just kept on typing when I was talking to him.... not a bit interested

I changed my GP in the end.... but these days I never get to see him any way...he's never there!

I usually end up seeing a locum....
Luther

User
Posted 08 Jan 2016 at 17:12
Hi Phatbuoy

10 weeks post op is still early days and I am sure you have already read about the need to keep persevering and using any stimulation that you or your OH can. You haven't said if his continence is OK so by no news I am assuming it is and that ED is the primary concern now.

I am pleased that your Macmillan nurse has at least taken some action to support you by prescribing the pump. Have the hospital arranged for an appointment at the ED clinic in case other additional or alternative treatments are required? some seem to do that pretty quickly once it is known to be an issue and others seem to do nothing unless it is requested and pushed for.

Your new GP's attitude is dreadful as you say there is so much potential for embarassment relating to the disease, right from first consult, diagnostic tests and treatments etc. It takes very little to be empathetic. GPs are under so much pressure from all directions but lack of basic manners is unacceptable.

Best wishes

xx

Mo

User
Posted 08 Jan 2016 at 18:21
I'm so sorry to hear this story, there really is no need for such poor manners. Like Mo says, it's not as if you haven't been through enough. The least we expect from our GP is some support, yes they often need to tell us home truths but really, is it too much to expect a modicum of courtesy?

Lots of love

Devonmaid

User
Posted 08 Jan 2016 at 22:05
There is no excuse for bad manners and rudeness, and that's what you've had.

I used to work as a radiographer, and there was always the 'what's the difference between God and a senior doctor' joke. You shouldn't let them get away with it. Complain and then ask for a different GP.

And, just in case you didn't know, God doesn't think he's a doctor.

Louise x

User
Posted 09 Jan 2016 at 01:54

If the macmillan nurse is permitted to prescribe vacuum pumps, I am guessing that is the ED clinic Mo

"Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards." Soren Kierkegaard

User
Posted 09 Jan 2016 at 12:49

So sorry to hear about your husbands experience,it has impacts which affect you both.If only this people who inflict this type of behaviour could be made to see how it affects others.It makes me so grateful to have a good GP(which is of no use to you whatsoever).The advice of seeing someone else within the practice is sound.If this man is the senior partner then talking to the practice manager might still not have any effect as it depends on how much he or she is prepared to "rock the boat".I hope your husbands next doctor experience is better.Best of luck to you both.

Best Wishes.

Polarbear2.

 
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