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The moon reflects three years on

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User
Posted 16 Feb 2016 at 16:09

I found myself thinking about Nimeniton a lot this weekend - it was Valentine's Day 3 years ago when he decided to stop treatment. For newer members who didn't know him, his final thread says a lot about bravery and love.

http://community.prostatecanceruk.org/posts/t9135-The-moon-reflects--a-greater-light-not-its-own?=#post9135

 

Edited by member 14 Feb 2017 at 01:04  | Reason: Not specified

"Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards." Soren Kierkegaard

User
Posted 16 Feb 2016 at 16:09

I found myself thinking about Nimeniton a lot this weekend - it was Valentine's Day 3 years ago when he decided to stop treatment. For newer members who didn't know him, his final thread says a lot about bravery and love.

http://community.prostatecanceruk.org/posts/t9135-The-moon-reflects--a-greater-light-not-its-own?=#post9135

 

Edited by member 14 Feb 2017 at 01:04  | Reason: Not specified

"Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards." Soren Kierkegaard

User
Posted 16 Feb 2016 at 19:55
Oh dear, this was one of the first posts that I read when I was first catapulted in to the forum , it moved me then and it moves me today.

BFN

Julie X

NEVER LAUGH AT A LIVE DRAGON
User
Posted 16 Feb 2016 at 21:15

Ben was the first person I really got to know from this community. We shared some deep emails which figured so strongly in my own struggle to come to terms with this illness. Ben was the one who persuaded me to post some deep and maybe difficult posts online. There was not a great tradition of talking about death and dying but Ben read my thoughts and pushed me to post. I was so glad that he did this as the posts were well received. Ben, went his own way out of this world with careful thought and wonderful presence of mind. I had so wanted to meet him but that was not to be. To stop treatment made him stand out in this forum and that was such a brave and absolutely right decision for him to do.

The night he posted his moon post I felt at the same time so sad yet so proud to have known him. He gave himself time to say a proper goodbye to all his family and friends and enjoyed (if that is the right word) rather longer than he anticipated. He helped me feel stronger about my own take on my future and for that alone I am grateful.

We share a terrible disease but along the way we meet people who help us cope, help us make sense of the world, and through their own example enable us to cope together whatever we face. Ben, aka nimienton, was one of those people. I am glad just briefly I shared some time with him.

User
Posted 16 Feb 2016 at 19:41

For those of you who are teary, before you read the link get a box of tissues handy.

Posts from among some members who have move on.

I am not tearful, my eyes are leaking.

dave

All we can do - is do all that we can.

So, do all you can to help yourself, then make the best of your time. :-)

I am the statistic.

User
Posted 16 Feb 2016 at 22:55
Lyn

thanks for re posting this lovely thread. Like my SS Julie I had just joined the forum, stories like Ben's, BigAl and Spurspark were all ones that I read and in turn read to Mick. They all helped us to prepare for what Mick was to face over the following year along with support from many of the contributors to Ben's thread.

XX

Mo

User
Posted 15 Feb 2017 at 10:18

Hi Lynn,

Thanks for this, it's not just Ben who is no longer with us, but many who posted on his thread, Rob, Top Gun, Alathays, and many more.

They were all a great help to me, and it's very humbling to wonder why God spares some of us while he lets such great men succumb.

:(

Dave   

Show Most Thanked Posts
User
Posted 16 Feb 2016 at 19:41

For those of you who are teary, before you read the link get a box of tissues handy.

Posts from among some members who have move on.

I am not tearful, my eyes are leaking.

dave

All we can do - is do all that we can.

So, do all you can to help yourself, then make the best of your time. :-)

I am the statistic.

User
Posted 16 Feb 2016 at 19:55
Oh dear, this was one of the first posts that I read when I was first catapulted in to the forum , it moved me then and it moves me today.

BFN

Julie X

NEVER LAUGH AT A LIVE DRAGON
User
Posted 16 Feb 2016 at 20:31

Thanks Lyn for putting the link on. As a relatively new member reading the post it makes me realise what a very brave person he was and it has brought a tear to my eyes as well, lovely comments from all that responded to his post.

Regards Chris/Woody

Life seems different upside down, take another viewpoint

User
Posted 16 Feb 2016 at 21:15

Ben was the first person I really got to know from this community. We shared some deep emails which figured so strongly in my own struggle to come to terms with this illness. Ben was the one who persuaded me to post some deep and maybe difficult posts online. There was not a great tradition of talking about death and dying but Ben read my thoughts and pushed me to post. I was so glad that he did this as the posts were well received. Ben, went his own way out of this world with careful thought and wonderful presence of mind. I had so wanted to meet him but that was not to be. To stop treatment made him stand out in this forum and that was such a brave and absolutely right decision for him to do.

The night he posted his moon post I felt at the same time so sad yet so proud to have known him. He gave himself time to say a proper goodbye to all his family and friends and enjoyed (if that is the right word) rather longer than he anticipated. He helped me feel stronger about my own take on my future and for that alone I am grateful.

We share a terrible disease but along the way we meet people who help us cope, help us make sense of the world, and through their own example enable us to cope together whatever we face. Ben, aka nimienton, was one of those people. I am glad just briefly I shared some time with him.

User
Posted 16 Feb 2016 at 22:33

He was an inspirational man. I was also lucky enough to have had e-mail correspondence with him as we shared a common interest. I have read his posts a few times since he left us.

Sadly missed

Bri

User
Posted 16 Feb 2016 at 22:55
Lyn

thanks for re posting this lovely thread. Like my SS Julie I had just joined the forum, stories like Ben's, BigAl and Spurspark were all ones that I read and in turn read to Mick. They all helped us to prepare for what Mick was to face over the following year along with support from many of the contributors to Ben's thread.

XX

Mo

User
Posted 17 Feb 2016 at 13:57
Lyn

Thanks for this post. It was inspiring to read.

John

User
Posted 17 Feb 2016 at 22:10

Another post for the Hall of Fame if ever there were one. He's sleeping easy on the other side surrounded by love, pain free and in perfect bliss. It is the prize for the challenge some faced here on earth.

User
Posted 14 Feb 2017 at 01:05

Four years and still missed ... and still an inspiration

"Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards." Soren Kierkegaard

User
Posted 14 Feb 2017 at 07:38

Absolutely. Ben did it his way!

User
Posted 14 Feb 2017 at 09:40

Just clicked on the link and read Ben's thread.   I've just shut the door to my office as I have tears streaming down my face.  It was Lyn's "soft blanket" analogy that did it.  

I joined the forum last year when my dad was diagnosed with advanced prostate cancer.  I don't really post much, preferring to just read others' experiences.  As each journey is so different I don't feel the need to ask specific questions relating to my dad's journey as I don't think it would be helpful.  What I do find helpful is the general feeling of community on this forum and the knowledge that others are going through similar and even worse than me.

My dad has now developed heart problems which the oncologist attributes to the prostate cancer treatment.  However, without the prostate cancer treatment I feel he would already be dead, so thankful for small mercies.   I find myself hoping that (much) further down the line my dad will just go to sleep and not wake up as a result of his heart problem, instead of getting to the "end" with prostate cancer as that seems so horrendous.

Ben's thread was so immensely touching - I also found myself feeling tremendously sad for his parents as no parent should go through the loss of their child, no matter what age.    I hope they have managed to find some peace.   

User
Posted 14 Feb 2017 at 10:36

Oh dear - I hope the mascara has been reapplied and the office door is now open again? Take heart, even with PCa many find that the end slips in while you are not looking, and is gentle rather than horrendous. Wishing you lots more memory-making times with your dad before then x

"Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards." Soren Kierkegaard

User
Posted 14 Feb 2017 at 23:22
Oh Lyn , maybe it's something in the air but I have also been having past memories keep coming back to me in very vivid and unpredictable moments. Even from many years ago.

Reading Bens words and so many replies from those no longer with us puts everything into perspective.

Thank you Lyn this is something that should be revisited every year.

BFN

Julie X

NEVER LAUGH AT A LIVE DRAGON
User
Posted 15 Feb 2017 at 00:49

Don't post very often but I'm always drawn to the comfort and Warmth I feel amongst the members on here when I read everyone's posts. Thank you for sharing the thread Lyn, Wow what a man !!
🙏🏼

The only time you should look back is to see how far you have come
User
Posted 15 Feb 2017 at 07:58
Thanks Lyn

As one of the "old timers" on here (aged 54), I remember most of the great posts so inspiring to me as a newbie. Sadly, I've just joined the downward spiral club so will have to come up with some prophetic (some might say pathetic) words soon before I lose complete use of my right arm which, as I write, is now hanging off in level 15 pain.

Wishing everyone well.

Bazza

User
Posted 15 Feb 2017 at 09:19

Originally Posted by: Online Community Member
before I lose complete use of my right arm which, as I write, is now hanging off in level 15 pain.

Bazza - is the pain being caused by bone mets? If so, has RT been tried? One dose of RT to the mets in my left shoulder took me from level 10 pain to nearly zero.

User
Posted 15 Feb 2017 at 10:18

Hi Lynn,

Thanks for this, it's not just Ben who is no longer with us, but many who posted on his thread, Rob, Top Gun, Alathays, and many more.

They were all a great help to me, and it's very humbling to wonder why God spares some of us while he lets such great men succumb.

:(

Dave   

 
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