first this forum is now open to google so anyone in the general public (or worse, family or friends) googling your name will be able to read what you have written .... best to edit it and remove your name, or just use your initial as I have done.
Did you ever learn how to have an orgasm without an erection? If not, then it is no wonder that you have list your libido; it would be difficult for anyone to get their ooomph if they know they are not going to get to climax. You (or your wife) can learn how to masturbate you with no erection but loads of lube, and oral sex works fine as well.
Second, do you have an ED nurse? If so, perhaps a chat with her about exercises that you can do around just touching and feeling without the pressure of having to perform?
"Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards." Soren Kierkegaard
Many thanks for the advice. We are lucky enough to be on holiday at the moment but will get in touch with ED clinic when we get back and have a chat with the nurse.