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Recent diagnosis of advanced prostate cancer

Posted 01 December 2017 08:38:21(UTC)
At 56 my dad has been diagnosed with advanced prostate cancer. It's presented unusually in the case it has caused problems with his bowel, and he's had no trouble with his water works. We've been told the cancer is in the bowel, has spread into some of his lymph glands and is now sitting close to the bladder waiting to infiltrate. We've known for about 5 weeks about the cancer. It was only discovered because he had a procedure to remove hemeroids and a biopsy of an ulcer found during this discovered prostate cancer.

He's due to have chemo in the new year, but they said even if it does go well we are still only looking at short years. No more than 10 and maybe even 5. At the moment he's on a course of hormone tablets, and is due to have his first Zoladex injection next week.

At the moment me and my family feel completely lost and have no hope. My youngest sister is 9 and I have a daughter who is 18 months old. It's hearbreaking to think he won't be around to see them grow up.

I was just wondering if anyone else was going through something similar and feels the same way. Or even if anyone has been through this already and can provide some hope. At the moment we're not looking forward to Christmas as were so afraid this could be one of his last.

Posted 01 December 2017 14:33:43(UTC)
Hi Lost
Really sorry that you find yourself here.
I was diagnosed at 49, minor symptoms for a few weeks. Spread to my lymph nodes and told maybe only two years.
I remember all to well the emotion that ran through my wife and I hearing the news. Then telling my dad and my three kids aged 9, 14 and 16 however I also remember that once I started chemo and then carried on with what was a relatively normal life the dark thoughts became less over powering.
Like your Dad, I was diagnosed about this time and started chemo 13th Jan. I had a zoladex injection every 3 months to stop the testosterone (and still do) , I was on biclutamide tablets for a short while and now am on abiraterone.
I have taken all these things in my stride, ran two marathons on chemo and since then have undertaken some of the toughest foot races on the planet so I write this to give you hope that all is not lost just because of a rubbish prognosis.
I was diagnosed 3 years ago, have found immense comfort from this forum and raising with my mates over £200,000 fir prostate cancer UK in the process. Yes there are still days when I feel sad but in the main I have enjoyed life more than before. I am closer to my family and friends and enjoy every day.
Keep posting here, share any concerns or treatment paths as others can tell you if that sounds "normal" and perhaps give you a steer on questions at times.
It would be useful if you knew your dads staging and Gleason score e.g. Mine is T4n1m1a Gleason 9 as this helps people understand what treatment paths are possible. You can click in the avatar of anyone and most tell you their story.
Most of all, what your dad probably needs now (I say speaking as a dad who has it) is just spending time with those important to him. Some days he may be very sad and others normal, we all have to roll with the punches.
Take care and encourage your Dad to use the forum if you can (either posting or just reading others)
Dream like you have forever, live like you only have today
Avatar is northern lights whilst running in Iceland sept 2017
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Posted 01 December 2017 18:42:49(UTC)
Hi Lost

My husband was diagnosed this time last year T4 N1 M1 we like you were devastated he was 59 . Telling the girls was the hardest and we too shed tears x However he went through Chemo without too many side effects and is on prostrap . He is now on 3 monthly follow ups it is difficult at time but we keep goals in mind holidays etc kerp in touch it helps to know there are others who know how it feels

Posted 05 December 2017 00:14:55(UTC)
Hi Kev

Thanks for your reply.

Reading your response has made me think this doesn't have to be all doom and gloom. It's comforting to know you once felt the same, and understand the difficulties of going through this with such a young family.

I wish you well and good luck with anymore planned marathons:-).

Posted 05 December 2017 19:24:25(UTC)
Hi Julie

My dad has the same diagnosis as your husband - T4 N1 M1.

Today he had his first 3 monthly hormone injection and chemo is to come in February. Just praying this time next year we'll be in a much better place with knowing the cancer is controllable.

At the moment my dad is adamant that he continues to work which is good at this stage. Just wondered how your husband got on with work when it came to chemo?

Posted 05 December 2017 21:37:35(UTC)

Hi lost ,my OH was diagnosed 2 years ago just before xmas ,like everyone else it's a massive shock .garys stats were PSA 23 Gleason 9 with spread to the lymph nodes ,he was 55 .our 4 children are adult age so it was easier to explain .
Gary's treatment plan was initially hormones which still continue now (every 3months) then a course of chemo which thankfully went with very few side effects,he managed to carry on working all the way through which he found helped take his mind off things but not everyone is that lucky and you have to listen to your body and take care .After the chemo he then went onto the stampede trial which he is still on today and doing really well , with the PSA undetectable .We know that this can change at any time so try to make the most of things .2 years ago we had no grandchildren but in a few months we will have 4 !! Which are a great distraction and joy.
Try to stay strong and once the treatment plan starts working it's a lot easier ,
Ask away any questions as there are so many helpful members that will give you some valuable info .
Best wishes

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Posted 05 December 2017 21:46:07(UTC)

Hi Lost89
My husband worked most days during Chemo and I think that helped him. Keeping to a normal routine where it's possible also helps take ones mind off the disease for a while.

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