Working post diagnosis

Hi Tonyc my husband still works 5 days a week (used to be 6/7) he's unfortunately in the incurable camp and had early chemo which luckily he worked through ,and now on the stampede trial arm j ,his job is a very physical job constructing marinas up and down the country and worldwide ,since his treatment has started 2 years ago although yes he still works his firm have been fantastic and has slowed right down mainly doing all the supervising and paper work in the wheel house of his barge .He will still muck in with the others when needed but on those days it completely wipes him out and weekends are normally spent resting.
We still have a Morgage to pay so Gary says he will work on for as long as possible to finish that if he can but also it takes his mind off sitting around thinking .I personally would like him to cut his hours down more to spend with me and our grandchildren,but he's a strong willed man!
Maybe you need to have a frank conversation with you partner , are you a liability at work or just slower ? Or maybe they can't handle the fact that you have Pca, Can you do shorter days rather then less days .
I hope you can resolve it and not feel pushed out before you are ready .
Good luck and best wishes
Debby

Edited by member 09 Jan 2018 at 14:22  | Reason: Not specified

I too have found it interesting how men have contended with the life/work balance aspect post diagnosis. As expected the variants are extensive. Here's a condensed version of my story. I honestly felt utterly convinced that my longevity was guaranteed because the genetics,lifestyle,fitness and overall attitude were in place. At 57 years old, after 10 years working at British Coal followed by over 30 years in the NHS, I retired.I then started doing gardens for relatives which escalated rapidly into working 4/5 days a week. I didn't want this amount of commitment but nevertheless enjoyed it...i.e starting more or less what time I wanted, Ken Bruce's pop quiz on in the van,fresh air,the connected feeling you get when working with nature, and most importantly a relaxed,contented outlook.Then within a year I was diagnosed with PCa in early 2015. We opted for RP from which I recovered well and quickly recommenced gardening.However, my attitude changed. A sort of low level resentment surfaced and I began thinking that I should be doing other things such as seeing more of my grandchildren,going on holidays,days out, afternoons in the pub,sitting in my own garden,or just not doing anything.Despite this,I continued gardening. But ,within the last few weeks I've decided to jack it in. I go for my 15th( of 20 ) SRT session this afternoon, and this has fully concreted my decision. Sometimes I decry my late fathers ridiculously fervent work ethic that has over the years somehow has instilled in me,thankfully to a much lesser degree.I always try to resist saying 'we are all different ' but fact is we are Tony,aren't we,which I have found really evident during the open conversations that are taking place in the Radiotherapy waiting room.All the very best to everyone affected by PCa and the decisions we have to make.

Cheers mate,take care,

Paul