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My dad diagnosed Today!!!

User
Posted 19 Jan 2018 at 09:50
My dad was diagnosed with aggressive prostate cancer today, the consultant fired facts at us continuing going on about my dads age (78) . We left only really taken in that he has cancer he has been put on tablets for three months and at some point he will have an operation to relieve the bladder & he will see an oncologist!!! My sister and I at many times tried to get our questions answered but was over talk and ignored by this consultant. We are waiting on a letter from him regarding the meeting having everything in black and white may help I know but we feel as that we don’t have a clue what happens now.
User
Posted 19 Jan 2018 at 12:20

Hello Jacqueline.

So sorry you find yourself here and I am also sorry for the attitude of your dad's consultant.

I assume the tablets dad has been given are hormones and these will reduce the size of the tumour and since he is also going to see an oncologist I would think that Radio therapy is also on the cards.

To you and I (and your dad) age is just a number and if your dad is a fit and healthy 78 year old then he will probably feel that he is being treated according to his age rather than his health.
From a consultant's point of view he has to do the best for his patient and yes, he could have been a bit more friendly but let's be charitable and say he was rushed off his feet.
No excuse really but....

Was your dad given a designated nurse? If so, then you could try ringing him/her and asking for information.

You could also download the relevant sections of The Toolkit, which is available from Publications on this site and you might be able to make sense of some of what was thrown at you.

I expect you'll get other replies from people who have been in your dad's situation, so hang in there until they come along.

When going to hospital (for instance at the appointment with the oncologist) try and get some of your questions written down and don't budge until you have an answer to them. Ask if you don't understand what has been said.

Obviously too late for the appointment dad has just had, but you can get prepared for the next one. It isn't at all unusual for people to do this, some even ask for permission to record the meeting to play it back later.

There is always a great deal to take in on that first visit which is why written questions are a great help.

Best Wishes to you all.

You are not alone now an any questions you want an answer to just ask andd somebody will be able to point you in the right direction.

Sandra

We can't control the winds - but we can adjust our sails
User
Posted 19 Jan 2018 at 12:35
Hi

I can only echo what Johnson has said but another suggestion, ask for a copy of the letter that the consultant sends to your father’s gp. You can then shape your questions for the next visit.

Hope things work out

 
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