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Loss of libido

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User
Posted 12 Feb 2018 at 21:25
I’ve found the hormone treatment devastating. I have no libido having previously had a high one. I can get an erection thanks to Cialis but I havnt managed an orgasm for several months. Reaching the point where I dread trying as there’s no point without an outcome. In fairness when we do try it is enjoyable just unsatisfactory for me. Any thoughts?
User
Posted 12 Feb 2018 at 22:38

I think this is just life on HT and there isn't anything you can do about it. For a while, John had sex and pretended he was into it for my sake but a partner can tell when a man is just going through the motions and to be honest, I didn't want to put him through that so we cuddled and loved each other but left the sex to one side.

If there is any chance that you will stop needing HT at some point, it is worth maintaining the erections for the duration to minimise atrophy when you do get your zippy back but if you are on it for life then it may be a bit pointless. If you are able to still feel some pleasure in the act even though you can't climax then that is good for your wife / partner but otherwise, perhaps concentrate on showing each other love and kindness and mutual support in other ways.

"Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards." Soren Kierkegaard

User
Posted 13 Feb 2018 at 07:33

Sorry to hear this I truly am. This subject is very close to my heart with me probably starting HT soon. I feel doubly cheated by this disease having got total recovery 2 yrs after surgery , only to lose it again. I understand the loss of libido but didn’t realise you couldn’t reach orgasm anymore ???? After my op I was totally flaccid for a very long time but could still reach orgasm with oral sex or a mini vibrator !

User
Posted 13 Feb 2018 at 08:14
Chris, I’m sure that orgasm is possible it’s just that it’s not happening for me and I find it really frustrating.

Lynn, yes we are maintaining the kissing and cuddling and are closer than ever before and my wife would be okay with that. I think I am on HT for life but don’t know what “for life” means any more in terms of life expectancy. My PSA hasn’t been registerable since I started treatment which is positive but I know the PCa will come back. I just live in hope of new treatments coming along that will keep me going. I actually wonder whether the lack of orgasm is due to the general anxiety about the illness

User
Posted 20 Feb 2018 at 14:16

I find orgasm can elusive and I am not on HT just a radical prostatectomy so far.

I think a big chunk of it is in the mind, I can have weekends where we are like teenagers and everything works fine without pills or potions (several times too!!) Then no explanation I struggle to get it up and then if I do I can't orgasm before I am knackered and my wonderful fionce has gone to sleep!!

I have been through this cycle a couple of times now so it can't be anything "physical"

The only explanation I can come up with is once the "thought" of failure enters your head you are screwed so some how you have to keep positive and definitely don't pressurise yourself..

User
Posted 20 Feb 2018 at 17:22

i had rt/ht in 2014 ht 2yrs 4 months of zoladex and all that time i still had libido and still have i can still have a dry orgasm but cant get erection,i am on a holiday at the moment coming up to 1yr 7 months,

User
Posted 20 Feb 2018 at 21:47

Iam still trying to figure out the difference between ED and lack of libido. After starting HT I could get erection ok and have dry organisms. Even after chemo and testero level which I think was 0.5 which understand was low I was still getting erections and enjoying sex. However when I started enzalutamide my desire to have sex dropped even with viagra and erections began to become less. I find it difficult to keep the desire which is frustrating for both of us. But I always remember the advice on the still was use it or lose it so we try our best.

User
Posted 20 Feb 2018 at 23:14

ED is wanting to but not being able to - loss of libido is having no sexual thoughts or even finding the prospect of sex repugnant. Some men on HT find themselves in between - they have to really make an effort to feel sexy but when they do, it is quite enjoyable.

"Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards." Soren Kierkegaard

 
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