Low sodium 120. Hyponatremia?

The community Nurse came and took blood.

Friday the palliative care nurse came out and we discussed the care plan, me on my own because nigel was asleep and then we woke him up, he chatted on his own and then we chatted together. Nurse was concerned at the amount of blood in the urine and how sleepy oh was.

I rang the gp to ask if the results were back and oh's hb had gone down to 108. It was 115 on Monday. The sodium result wasn't back and GP felt that oh should go to a&e and have the sodium done again and that he should also have hb reviewed given his sleepiness.

Oh cried, and cried...and said he wasn't going to hospital and he would just go to the hospice, it was awful and really out of character. I rang the hospice and they said he could go there but if he needed a transfusion or sodium then they would take him to a&e anyway.

Oh eventually calmed down and asked me to take him to a&e, the gp wrote us and admissions letter.

They gave him a bag of saline while we waited for the results, which when they came back were acceptable, hb 111 sodium 121.

But the a&e Doctor felt he should see urology regarding the heavy bleeding so oh was admitted again.

This morning the consultant came around and was the same Dr as we saw Tuesday. He was surprised to see oh and started with "you know we cannot stop the bleeding "

I was so tired I lost my usual inability to be firm and argue and I said " we know that, we know it won't stop but we are following the gp's instructions to come in and be monitored for sodium and blood loss. His results are OK and he's feeling better from being hydrated (he's still on restricted fluids) so if your happy we'll go home now."

Oh had a moment when I got back to the hospital at 7.30am where he cried and said I'm really poorly aren't I, this isn't going to get any better is it, how long do you think I've got?

I feel that I will be moving my thread over to the dark side very shortly. This has all happened so fast, it's only 18 months since he was diagnosed but we have run out of options.

He is due a clinic review in 2 weeks for the Abiraterone, I have no idea whether the onco will continue to give it to him, I have to say that other than the sodium exhaunting and blood loss, oh is not in pain. No more bone pain in his hips and legs and hasn't taken any pain relief for 2 days. Perhaps the metastases are under control. Who knows?

I feel like my thread has turned more into a story than a request for answers, I don't think there are any.

The urologist responded well to my direct approach and whilst standing there oh's catheter bag filled rapidly with claret. There is a substantially larger amount of fluid coming out than going in. The urologist was then more gentle and said they ought to give oh a bladder flush to get rid of any old clots and then we could go home.

So we are home, I will now ask the nurse to do sodium levels on a Monday, they will be back by Wednesday and we won't be in a&e on a Friday night unecessarily.

Knowing that the hb was OK and sodium was OK means that the sleepiness is probably disease progression.

I asked the palliative care nurse whether they could tell me after onco appointment if we are looking at months or weeks, having looked at oh she agreed this was a reasonable question to ask.

Onco in a fortnight, this is s**t :(

I just wish we'd crawl there rather than crash our way over like were doing at the moment! 

His appetite is poor and has been for a few weeks. Little snacks rather than meals. He hasn't lost much weight but it is going down 90kg 4 weeks ago to 88kg yesterday. His taste buds are non existent,  that's happened this week. Everything points to a decline :(

I've got lots of support,  my mum lives a few doors away and my brother is close by. The neighbours have all offered to help in any way they can. 

I don't get much time by myself but I've found that if it involves any kind of cleaning, the kids will leave me be (in case I ask them to help!) I had 2 hours in the sunshine this afternoon hovering and cleaning the car....peaceful time to reflect on what's happening.  Time to think about the kids and how to help them cope, time to think about how I'm going to cope.  

I'm finding it hard to shut off at night, which is why most of my posts are ridiculously late. But this is another time that I have to myself. Nigel is asleep, kids are in bed and I've got time to read articles and think about what to do next.

Xx