S**t has happened! Hallelujah!
At least you weren’t like this drug dealer:
https://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/crime/man-swallows-drugs-refuses-toilet-poo-watch-freed-watch-essex-police-drug-dealer-operation-raptor-a8244006.html
I’m surprised you say how invasive your procedure was, as I regard my surgery as virtually pain-free, and I am a big baby. I had been out shopping and down the pub several times during the time you have been incarcerated (on medical grounds) in hospital. They gave me all kinds of laxatives and stool-softening drinks and I didn’t use any. If you click my profile you can read the gory details.
Well, at least you now have a BIG LOAD off your mind, and I wish you a speedy discharge from hospital, a rapid recovery, and the best of luck for the future.
Cheers, John.