Originally Posted by: Online Community Member
I am interested about your reactions to work
it appears from what you said that this is important to you
has your work drive returned yet
I ask this because I love my work and hope. My up coming treatment doesn’t change that
With the knowledge that I would require recovery time, I told everyone I deal with that I would be dealing only with essential business until a certain date. I didn't say why, I just said "if it's not urgent, don't call me" so that I had some space.
Two weeks after EBRT ended, I felt mentally fragile. My physical side effects, at their worst, were trivial. I just felt a bit vulnerable and introspective. At work, I was unable to face tough decisions and deal with crappy stuff. Any letter I didn't like the look of was put back in the in tray and I diarised time to deal with it at a later date. I found myself dealing only with the easy stuff and things I wanted to do.
During that period, I had a weird sensation that I should have been doing more, like everything had to be dealt with "immediately" and I felt a bit panicked that it wasn't being. There was no good reason for this, I rarely deal with all outstanding matters immediately, it was some sort of mental aberration.
I kept my exercise regime going, but at a maintenance level. I just tried to stay moving, lift a few light weights, stay in touch with my aerobic fitness and, well, keep going. I went to bed at 9pm (instead of 10).
I have started to find work a little easier and have approached the backlog like I'd eat an elephant - one bite at a time! As I type, my inbox is full of papers, but relating to only one matter. So, I am getting there!
My physical fitness is starting to return and so has my drive to do work, but I don't feel back "on it" yet.
One thing I have done, though, is take a conscious decision to put myself first and commit to wellbeing time. So week one after EBRT I went for a hair cut, the following week I went for a facial, last week I went for a Thai massage, all of these during the working day.
My mindset currently is that my recovery and good health going forward are of paramount importance. If at all possible, I want to continue with my attitude of "it's only work, it comes second to ME" which I have cultivated during the EBRT process.
I underestimated how challenging a process EBRT would be, and also the magnitude of the after effects. This has been, in part, due to some of the information on the Internet from people like Cancer Research. Some of it made EBRT sound almost like fun, with few negatives. That was not my experience. Perhaps it is deliberate, so that men are not put off having treatment.
To summarise, the first two weeks after EBRT saw me treading water in my business. I have gradually become more effective, but four weeks later I am not entirely "back". I have developed a "me first" attitude to my work life, which I hope to maintain going forwards.