So, Just thought id give an update exactly a year since my operation. As our Dave said some time ago now, Its probably helpful to some to read about progress or even the lack of it.
Well Im 48 now,(😉) and grey hairs have recently decided to be prominent on my head. I dont think its PCa related to be honest, although you never know.
Anyway, Im good. My last blood test, a month or so ago, had me at undetectable again. Im told my next one is in July and to be honest? Meh!.. I do my best to not allow it to occupy my thoughts for any second longer than it has to. Whats the point?
Its been quite a year. Those first few weeks werent anything close to as bad as I thought they might be. It obviously wasnt pleasant but I think by week 3 I was pretty much feeling that it was in my rear view mirror. The first real obstacle was getting past histology. I think that appointment was always going to be the most nervy one and thankfully mine was as good as I could have hoped for. Physically, I seem to be good too. I was fortunate enough to have full continence immediately after my cathater was removed and since then have had no issues except when I need to pee, I need to be quick. Thats really the only physical difference outwith the potency issue. To be honest? I actually quite enjoy a pee these days. Back in December I went for my first night out since my op that involved a fair bit of Guinness. I found myself needing to go sharper than any other time in my life. Holy moly, I can still remember the fear. My old pelvic floor wasnt half put to the test. I thought my a*sehole was going to sink into some sort of black (white headed) hole, I was clenching it that much. Any kind of DRE at that point would have been utterly futile. It was awful. Anyway I got to the mens room in time only to discover that the the only pew available was in the middle of two gents. Never ideal. I will never, ever forget,as long as my arse looks south, the sound as my flow hit that aluminium wall. Firstly, it was my sigh of relief that I heard, before realising the guys either side of me might have thought they were in some sort of metal air raid shelter. PSSSHHHHHHHHHHHHH. I could sense their wtf moment, I wanted to reassure them that I wasnt normal. That id had my prostate removed. But instead I just laughed to myself. It was utterly f*cking brilliant. As i walked home later that night, albeit as drunk as a skunk. I cried as I thought back to that pee. I sort of realised that for the first time since my diagnosis, I laughed at it. F*ck you prostate cancer. F*ck you very much. The b*stard had stolen my erections, my sperm and far far too much of my life. I realised that drunken night that I wasnt going to allow it to steal my laugh. It hasnt and it wont.
Anyway, erections? Nothing. Pretty much nothing for about 8 or 9 months and then, not a great deal but definite improvement. I had 80% nerve sparing and im currently, probably around the same percentage in potency. He cant stand up on his own quite yet but I will continue to give him as much encouragement as I can.
So on to year 2 I go. I think im blessed. Im definitely blessed when it comes to having found this community. There are so so many good souls here that are so undeserving of this shitty disease.
Wishing you all the warmest.
Much love.
Jamie.
Edited by member 11 May 2023 at 03:32
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