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I have just posted Erics last post

User
Posted 22 Jul 2014 at 19:11
What happened I just wrote how Eric pastaway today the post is gone

Carol

User
Posted 23 Jul 2014 at 00:18
Thank you all what genuine people you all are I am so glad I picked this forum had looked at so many .But I was drawn to this one you put up with my terrible spelling julie my silly Scottish sayings and even put up with my vents.

I am sitting here and all I thinking I couldn't bring him round the whole thing is wrong on so many levels he was such a good husband and father he fought this pca with humour always said he takes his hat off to all you guys that have to have this journey for years on early dx he always admired your strength and to all you guys with being dx terminal and put on pallative care just like him he just said I know what they are feeling

Carol x

User
Posted 23 Jul 2014 at 05:27
Mo and Chris I have replied to your private emails thank you

Carol

User
Posted 30 Jul 2014 at 17:22
Hi Carol,

We assume that the funeral / cremation would be soon, and we both send our very heart felt prayers to you and the family at this very sad time, you are very much in our thoughts and prayers.

Chris and Shirley xxxx

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User
Posted 22 Jul 2014 at 19:34

Dear Carol

I am so so sorry to read your post, Eric fought this bloody disease so hard and your support was immense.

Please except our deepest condolences

Si & Ness

 

Don't deny the diagnosis; try to defy the verdict
User
Posted 22 Jul 2014 at 19:36

So sorry to hear this.  He put up a tremendous fight with you and your daughter's support.  Many condolences.

User
Posted 22 Jul 2014 at 19:41
Hi Carol

So sorry, please accept my condolences. Eric fought so much, as did you for him.

Roy

User
Posted 22 Jul 2014 at 19:44
Oh Carol,

So sorry to read this sad news, you and he fought the mightiest of battles against this insidious disease. Eric will have been so proud of you but now he is at peace. Try and stay strong and remember the good times.

My thoughts and prayers are with you,

Love Barry (alias Barrington ) xxx

User
Posted 22 Jul 2014 at 19:50
Carol it is such sad news. You stood by his side throughout his illness hoping to help him have as much time as he could. Please except my deepest condolences. RIP Eric, your pain is at least over! Thinking of you tonight!
User
Posted 22 Jul 2014 at 20:01

Just come on the forum and seen your post, Carol. My love and condolences on your loss, you stood by Eric to the end, you can't ask anymore of yourself and you have taken the time to support and encourage others on the forum. I will be thinking of you. RIP Eric. x

 

All my love, Fiona. x

User
Posted 22 Jul 2014 at 20:35
Thank you all I had posted what happend to Eric this morning. The post is gone.I want to explain what happend As many of you know Eric was in hospital heart and blood clott he came home on Sunday.They told me he was ok changed heart meds.This morning Eric went to GP that was at 9,00am he was home by 9.15 I was up stairs when I heard a thud Eric was on the kitchen floor I tried to bring him round whilst on the phone trying to get help.

The ambulance arrived they worked on him for a long time.The GP came he said Erics breathing was bad and his bp was very low gave him appt for next week WHY

The ambulance left GP left was told to collect death certificate at surgery in an hour.Meanwhile Eric.was still on floor he lay there until 2.00 no one came near Carolann picked an undertaker out of phone book they took his body away at.3,30 would someone please tell me this was wrong no dignity for my husband

Carol

User
Posted 22 Jul 2014 at 20:41

Carol ,

So sorry to hear this news about Eric, but he is now at peace , no pain, remember the good times.

 

Thinking of you both

 

Barry 

 

 

User
Posted 22 Jul 2014 at 21:10
Carol, my heart goes out to you now more than ever, Eric and Mick followed an almost identical path until the end. I know you must be hurting so badly right now so not a lot I can say to make you feel any better. My sincere and deepest condolences to you all.

whatever happened will be so hard for you to understand or come to terms with, however tell me to get lost if this is too much right now but I will send you a private message about something that may happen in the next few days just in case you need to be prepared for it.

xxx

Mo

User
Posted 22 Jul 2014 at 21:13

Dear Carol.

 

Our hearts go out to you at this terrible time. We are so very sorry to hear about Eric.

Words aren't enough to convey our heartfelt sympathy.

I read your first lines at the top of this post earlier, and was struggling to know what to say, and now I've read all the other details, I am shocked to the core.

Yes, this is wrong, very wrong.

 

My wife and I can't imagine how you must have felt today.

 

Love and a big big hug from us both,

 

 

George and Lynn

User
Posted 22 Jul 2014 at 21:17

Carol,

My heart goes out to you and Carolann , this is so wrong on so many levels. I could not believe this when I read your story of Eric's passing. I have been worried ever since I read your last posting on Sid's Hug thread.

Your last memories have been sullied by the way Eric was treated and I am so angry but this is not the time or the place for me to express what I really  want to say.

Carol please take heart that you did everything possible for Eric and he would have known that, you are an amazing woman and you will get through this.

My love is on the next train up to you and your family. RIP Eric he is know at peace, with no more pain.

BFN

Julie X

NEVER LAUGH AT A LIVE DRAGON
User
Posted 22 Jul 2014 at 21:44
Carol

My deepest sympathy I am new to the forum but have followed your posts and your are obviously a lovely human being. Take care of yourself.

Chris

User
Posted 22 Jul 2014 at 22:03
My deepest sympathy to you and your family. What a horrible thing to happen. Thinking of you.
Max

"You can only play the hand you're dealt"

User
Posted 22 Jul 2014 at 22:25
Carol I'm so sorry up hear this sad news. He fought all the way with your support.

I do agree that the way he was left is appalling. But please now take time to look after yourself and give yourself time to grieve

My thoughts are with you and your family

Bri x

User
Posted 22 Jul 2014 at 22:43

My wife and I are so sorry to hear of your sad loss. I never met Eric, my father's name too, or your good self but please accept our condolences and our deepest sympathy.

 

Regarding what happened today, a police officer, acting as the the local coroners officer, should have taken care of everything for you regarding the undertaker and having Eric taken away with a little more alacrity and with complete dignity. I'm not sure why this didn't happen but please believe me it is what we are trained for and is an occurrence that is usually handled with compassion and understanding .

 

Steve

Edited by member 22 Jul 2014 at 22:50  | Reason: Not specified

User
Posted 22 Jul 2014 at 22:54
Carol

I feel for you. The way Eric was left sounds horrendous. You have supported and fought for your hubby through his most difficult times, and you should feel proud of that. I wish you all the strength to mourn your hubby and adjust to all the changes in your life.

Paul

Stay Calm And Carry On.
User
Posted 22 Jul 2014 at 22:56
Dear wee wifie,what a dreadful thing to happen at such a time,I can't imagine how you coped,but you did, and you will in the days and weeks ahead because that is how you are.much sympathy to you and your daughter. Diesel x
User
Posted 22 Jul 2014 at 22:57
Carol,

Our deepest heartfelt sympathies to you and the family, what happened to Eric should not have happened, and we are so sorry, for you, that it did.

Please accept our condolences, thoughts and prayers at this VERY sad time.

Chris and Shirley.

PS. I will now be adding Eric to my Absent Friends list so that he WILL not be forgotten. Chris.

User
Posted 22 Jul 2014 at 23:04
Dear Carol

I am shocked and mortified to read about what has happened today. Yes, I am glad that Eric is no longer in pain but horrified that people could leave you and your lovely man in that state. I have never heard of anything like this before and am truly shocked on your behalf. Carol, at least you know that the people here are genuine in our condolences and sympathy.

RIP Eric.

Love to you and Carolann xxxxxx

User
Posted 22 Jul 2014 at 23:53
Dear Carol, I am so sorry to read this and imagine how you must be feeling now.

You did so much, couldn't have done more and Eric knew this. I hope in time this gives you comfort, but in the difficult days ahead please try to accept any help you can, and try to get some rest and take care of yourself. It will be difficult to focus on you when your focus has been on caring for Eric for so long, and it will probably seem so pointless, but eventually there will be better days, until then take care, love Janet, x

User
Posted 23 Jul 2014 at 00:18
Thank you all what genuine people you all are I am so glad I picked this forum had looked at so many .But I was drawn to this one you put up with my terrible spelling julie my silly Scottish sayings and even put up with my vents.

I am sitting here and all I thinking I couldn't bring him round the whole thing is wrong on so many levels he was such a good husband and father he fought this pca with humour always said he takes his hat off to all you guys that have to have this journey for years on early dx he always admired your strength and to all you guys with being dx terminal and put on pallative care just like him he just said I know what they are feeling

Carol x

User
Posted 23 Jul 2014 at 05:27
Mo and Chris I have replied to your private emails thank you

Carol

User
Posted 23 Jul 2014 at 20:22
So sorry to see this Carol. Please accept my condolences to you and to Carolann.

You were obviously let down by some administration somewhere, but Eric did have the dignity of passing with someone who loved him dearly by his side. I hope this thought helps you through this difficult time.

User
Posted 23 Jul 2014 at 22:21

So sorry to hear the news of your husband's death. I know we have not talked on here but I have followed your story your husband's fight and the way you have fought for and supported him. I know his time was close but to be treated this way in his final moments is shocking.

But please don't let this spoil your last goodbye and your happy memories. Take comfort from your family and friends and the fact that he is not in pain and suffering any more and the end came quickly although maybe too quickly for you to be prepared.

God bless and look after yourself

Lorraine x

 

User
Posted 23 Jul 2014 at 23:41

So Sad http://community.prostatecanceruk.org/editors/tiny_mce/plugins/emoticons/img/smiley-frown.gif R.I.P Eric ... you've gotta be strong now Carol , please stick around on the forums .

User
Posted 27 Jul 2014 at 18:29
Please accept my condolences weewifie.

I've been missing from the site for the past week as I went, together with my other sisters, to support my sister for the funeral of her husband.

I hope, once all this horror is far enough behind you to be nothing more than a dull aching memory, and that you and your family will look back and find solace in the man he was, the husband, the father, the soulmate. The friend

Best Wishes to you all.

Sandra

We can't control the winds - but we can adjust our sails
User
Posted 30 Jul 2014 at 17:22
Hi Carol,

We assume that the funeral / cremation would be soon, and we both send our very heart felt prayers to you and the family at this very sad time, you are very much in our thoughts and prayers.

Chris and Shirley xxxx

User
Posted 30 Jul 2014 at 18:50

Carol,

I was so sorry to hear about Eric. You have always been so brave and loving. Don't let the anger you feel about the way you were both treated stop you remembering the love and happiness you both shared.

Love to you and Carolanne

User
Posted 30 Jul 2014 at 20:32
Carol, I guess you will not want to hear this right now but as devastating as that last day must have been for you, there will perhaps be a time in the future when you will be able to look back and thank God that Eric stayed with you at home on the kitchen floor for those few hours. If the day had unfolded slightly differently, if he hadn't just seen the GP that morning, the paramedics might have been obliged to take him to the hospital and your beloved Eric might have been subjected to a post mortem.

Cold comfort right now, I know, but I really believe that there are times when the human spirit can control destiny. Imagine Eric, so poorly, so breathless, but with enough strength to get home from the doctors and then once he was safe with you, allowing himself to let go.

My friend who is the chief exec of a hospice says there are those to hang on and on for a special visitor or an important date / anniversary and then slip away, while there are others who seem not to want to die in front of people and find the strength to wait for the moment when the family slips out for a break. I am so sad for you that Eric has been taken away so suddenly and in such traumatic circumstances but how wonderful to think of him being at home, his heart just knowing that he was safe in your arms and your voice being the last one he heard.

You are in my thoughts xxx

"Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards." Soren Kierkegaard

User
Posted 30 Jul 2014 at 23:06
Hi everyone thank you all for your post's private emails it does help. and such comfort. Well it's been hard but also with so many visitors there has been a lot good funny memories and with Eric.there has been many.

As I posted Eric was having trouble the week before and it was something Mo said that made me phone chemo nurse who said it sounded like a blood clott going to heart I was told this is quite common news to me .I called ambulance whilst on phone was told to give him 4asprin to chew at this point Eric is on loo he shouted how can I chew them I have no teeth in woman at the other end of phone asked are you sure he is unwell .Eric came home on the sunday,and the rest you know.

Eric's funeral will be tommorow(Thursday) he will come home at 10.30am the 20 bikers will be infront of him then all cars.I am a bit worried about Carolann she is going to be a polebearer as her dad said one of his regrets would be he couldn't walk her down the ailse so she will walk him down to the song Luthor Vandros Dance with my Father again.

Eric wanted certain things in his jacket pockets 2 combs picture of Carolann that was on his keyring Eric is not religous but he wanted a pack of playing cards in one pocket and roserybeads in the other playing it safe for up or down I know he will be going up he was a good man.

Carolann asked me to change his avatar she hated the one I used said it didn't look like her just reminded her of how ill he was.

We had a few of his old biker friends round and the story they love to tell is what happened at the Blue Angels rally Eric turned up in a blue dress shirt dress jeans and polished shoes in a muddy field with thousands of leather clad bikers think he stood out the boys went and bought him tee-shirt with the words WIFE FOR SALE !!!!

Hope we stay strong when Eric comes home just wish I could have a big hugg from him.

Carol xxx

User
Posted 31 Jul 2014 at 07:38
Hi Carol,

Just a quick note to say that I hope all goes well today. It sounds like he will have a great send off and so he should. Try and stay strong if only for Carolann's sake.

I will be thinking of you both,

God Bless,

Love Barry ( alias Barrington )

User
Posted 31 Jul 2014 at 07:41

Hi Carol,

We will be thinking of you today, it sounds a beautiful send off

Si xx

Don't deny the diagnosis; try to defy the verdict
User
Posted 31 Jul 2014 at 08:52

Hi Carol,

Thinking of you all today, it sounds as if you have everything organised.

X

BFN

Julie X

NEVER LAUGH AT A LIVE DRAGON
User
Posted 31 Jul 2014 at 09:18
Hi Carol, I will be thinking of you today, you have organised itt so well and it wiill be so personal and beautiful in a bitter sweet way. Love to you all. Janet, x
User
Posted 31 Jul 2014 at 09:40
Carol

I will be thinking of you today, I am sure Carolann will do her Father, you and herself proud. My Karen was amazing at Mick's funeral.

It will be emotional but the huge sense of relief when the service is over can be quite overwhelming, I am sure all your family and friends will do everything they can to make it a wonderful send off.

Tonight I will have a glass of wine or two and toast to Eric and all our absent loved ones and then another to give fortitude to all those still fighting this horrid disease.

All my love

Mo xxx

User
Posted 31 Jul 2014 at 10:06
Hope it goes well today. I will be thinking of you. I am attending another funeral today of someone who died of cancer four weeks post diagnosis and just 59. The world sometimes does not make sense.
User
Posted 31 Jul 2014 at 11:45
Hi Carol, We hope all goes well for you today at the funeral and after, we shall be with you in thought. I'm sure there will be lots of support. Think of the UP side, and the fun that Eric gave you. He will be going UP anyway..... so good for the rosary beads!! The cards may come in handy later.....

Take care, both you and Carolann, and don't be afraid to ask for help afterwards. Someone will be listening.

Love Shirley xxxxx

Blessings and Hugs

PS. Remember ALL the good times, memories live on. Chris. xxxx

User
Posted 31 Jul 2014 at 13:44

What a great send off, Carol. Hope you are surrounded by love at the funeral and for the times ahead,

 

Love, Fiona. x

User
Posted 31 Jul 2014 at 14:12
Only just read your posts Carol.

I'm so sorry to read your news any words I say wouldn't summon up how I felt when reading all of your posts. 😒

Hope today goes well. Eric's send off sounds amazing and so personal to him and his loved ones - just how it should be. 😊 the fact Carolann will be pallbearer and with such special music brought a lump to my throat; but oh so right and poignant.

Look after yourself now.

RIP Eric you were truly loved

Veronica

User
Posted 31 Jul 2014 at 14:31

Carol,

I am so sorry to hear about Eric,you were so kind to me when I was having a bad day not long ago.

Despite all of your own problems you bothered to spend your precious time in helping me.

You certainly did your best for Eric.

My wife and I are thinking of you.

Steve

User
Posted 31 Jul 2014 at 21:59

Carol

 

I've only just caught up with the posts. So sorry to hear the terrible news. Please accept my sincere condolences and I hope you find comfort in today's service.

 

Rest in Peace Eric

 

 

 

Nil desperandum

Allister

User
Posted 03 Aug 2014 at 19:27
Thank you all for your messages I will answer the private emails later.

I know I'm not the sharpest tool in the box on here but I have always felt welcome and still do.

All you lovely OH on here please make sure you give your men a big hugg each and everyday for no reason and all you guys do the same I miss my daily huggs.

Eric had a good send off nothing went wrong just as he planned it.

Sorry to you that are religious there were no hyms prayers just the story of Eric's .What he did want was time for reflection for people that have beliefs and I said a prayer for him.

There were tears but most of all chuckles and laughter at the story's about Eric.

Carolann managed to carry her dad in everyone was so proud of her.

This was read at the end of service.

COMPOST HEAP

Once I've bade my last goodbye

cut the cord to take my leave.

Don't be sorrowful and cry or sit in

solitude and grieve..

Shout me your last farewell,making sure I'm dead asleep.

Then without prayers or tolling bells

just dump me on the compost heap.

Play for me some red-hot jazz

then some Benny Goodman swing.

Jive and twist and razzamatazz joke and laugh and dance and sing.

Be happy through the night long wake don't think about me being missed.

Just carry on for old times sake till everyones completly pissed.

Then go your ways and be not sad and think about me not at all.

Except if things go really bad all you have to do is call.

Go to where the composts spread

shout my name up to the sky.

And if you wake me from the dead

you'll not be more suprised than I.

User
Posted 03 Aug 2014 at 20:05
Carol, that is the most brilliant funeral poem I have ever come across. I have just read it out to John and could hardly keep my voice steady; if only we had come across this before Stan died he would definitely have wanted us to use it as it expresses exactly what he thought. I often asked Stan what he wanted and his standard reply was always "stick me in a bin liner and prop me under a tree".

I am so pleased that Eric's send-off was as he had wanted and planned. I am sure that the strength you have shown this far will get you through the coming days, weeks and months. Sleep peacefully Eric x

"Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards." Soren Kierkegaard

User
Posted 03 Aug 2014 at 22:33

Oh Carol, like Lyn to hers, I read it out to my John.

It describes exactly how he feels about it too (minus Stan's bin bag Lyn - got to be green!)

Glad it went off well. Tears, sadness. but also the joys remembered, as well as the mad funny times too.

Take care. All the best Sandra

We can't control the winds - but we can adjust our sails
User
Posted 04 Aug 2014 at 08:38

Carol,

What a wonderful poem , and yes I have to agree with Lyn my Dad also ordered a bin bag. It sounds as if everything went exactly how Eric wanted it to be. 

Eric would have been so proud of Carolann, try and take some time now for you both to reflect and heal.

Lots of love 

BFN

Julie X

NEVER LAUGH AT A LIVE DRAGON
User
Posted 11 Aug 2014 at 15:58
Perfect farewell Carol our men had terrific humour right to the end.

Many hugs to you annd Carolann xxx

Mo

User
Posted 11 Aug 2014 at 23:17
I know I shouldn't laugh but thank you so much for sharing this brilliant poem. I just love it. I'm so glad everything went well Carol and that Eric is still having a giggle somewhere we can't follow.

Well done to CarolAnn for being so brave. Her dad would have been proud of her. You have been a great participant on this forum, please don't do yourself down, we have loved having you here, we just wish we'd never had to meet to this way.

Good luck for the future

Lots of love Allison xxxxxx

 
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