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User
Posted 12 Nov 2014 at 19:51

Hi folks, from a yet to be experienced sufferer;

 

simple query, really; what do I tell the grand children?  Girl 13, sharp as nails, picks up every nuance, and a lad of 9 who is wrapped up in sport and lad things.  Both are very close, I have a fabulous relationship with them, but as yet they haven't been told "the Truth".

 

as I write that, I am aware that the Truth is really simple, too.  We get old, we stumble about, we die, is that all I need to say?

 

There's no formula.  Please advise.  I want to make it as easy as possible to lose their 'grumps'.......

User
Posted 13 Nov 2014 at 16:46

I would be asking:

Will the knowledge affect their studying, especially up to GCSE?

Do you want them to be open with you about the problems of growing up? Will what you tell them help them open up to you?

What do the parents think?

How would they react if you got seriously ill before they were told? Would they feel let down?

The problem could be hereditary. The grandson might need to know so he can be advised to have regular checks - on the other hand 9 is a bit young to take this on board. There will probably be better detection methods by the time he gets to 50.

No easy answers but hope you can work it out.

Paul

Stay Calm And Carry On.
User
Posted 13 Nov 2014 at 17:14

I think you have asked a very relevant but difficult question for which there is no definitive answer. 

However, Macmillan have a booklet which covers many questions about what to do and when in these circumstances. The booklet is  “Talking to children and teenagers when an adult has cancer”.  You can find it at the Be Macmillan link below:   

http://be.macmillan.org.uk/Downloads/CancerInformation/ChildrenAndYoungPeople/MAC5766TalkingtochildrenE2.pdf

Alan

 

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User
Posted 13 Nov 2014 at 16:46

I would be asking:

Will the knowledge affect their studying, especially up to GCSE?

Do you want them to be open with you about the problems of growing up? Will what you tell them help them open up to you?

What do the parents think?

How would they react if you got seriously ill before they were told? Would they feel let down?

The problem could be hereditary. The grandson might need to know so he can be advised to have regular checks - on the other hand 9 is a bit young to take this on board. There will probably be better detection methods by the time he gets to 50.

No easy answers but hope you can work it out.

Paul

Stay Calm And Carry On.
User
Posted 13 Nov 2014 at 17:14

I think you have asked a very relevant but difficult question for which there is no definitive answer. 

However, Macmillan have a booklet which covers many questions about what to do and when in these circumstances. The booklet is  “Talking to children and teenagers when an adult has cancer”.  You can find it at the Be Macmillan link below:   

http://be.macmillan.org.uk/Downloads/CancerInformation/ChildrenAndYoungPeople/MAC5766TalkingtochildrenE2.pdf

Alan

 

User
Posted 14 Nov 2014 at 18:56

great advice thank you both - off to read the booklet now, thank you for the link. I promise I will then think it through.

 
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