I just don't believe it!

Hi,

Thanks everyone for your recent messages.

I was visited today by my very nice cardiac rehab nurse who I hoped would help me with my escape plan (to get out out of the house) but in this respect, she was a bit of a disappointment.  She agreed with my wife that, at the moment, I should still take it very easy, as until my second angioplasty takes place, I still a serious problem with my heart.  Ok, I can see their point but I do feel as if I could do just a little bit more than I'm allowed to at the moment.  She did agree that I could go for a five minute walk, twice a day, so I suppose that's something but it still doesn't take me as far as our closest pub!

Talking of pubs, I feel terrible that I will miss the Flyer Event in London on Wednesday.  I've been looking forward to it for months and being able to meet some of you.  I was hoping by some slight chance I might be fit enough to attend but it's now seems impossible.  I'm so disappointed.  I hope everyone has a great time though, I will be there in spirit.

Anyway, back to the meeting with the rehab nurse. She did give me encouraging news as all the checks she did confirmed that I was responding well to the new medication.  She also said that she thinks that once the left coronary artery is unblocked, my heart should be stronger than ever because they believe very little damage was caused to the heart muscle because I had early treatment.  Thank goodness it didn't happen when I was in the middle of nowhere.  So, even though I didn't feel that way at the time, I was really lucky.  I didn't realise I should have been celebrating rather than feeling a bit sorry for myself.

Anyway, once I have had the second angioplasty she is going to put me on a fitness course which I'm really looking forward to.  The fitter I am, the better chance I have of fighting my cancer. 

No I haven't forgotten the real reason I am on this site.  I had thought, after I'd seen my oncologist (the day before my heart attack) that I needed something to take my mind off my cancer but what happened wasn't really what I had in my mind.  I did forget my cancer during the time I spent in hospital, when something comes along that could kill you straight away rather than a few years in the future, it does focus your mind on that particular problem.   

I can't believe that in a period of six months (tomorrow is exactly half a year since I was having my biopsy) my life has totally changed.  I am faced by greater challenges than I have ever faced before.  Life means so much more to me now.  I love everyday, even if it's terrible weather. 

In my fight against cancer, I feel as if I've gained so many friends on this site who really care about each other because we're all on the same journey. 

As I approach my sixtieth birthday I'm reminded of something I saw on the internet sometime ago:

"Don't regret growing older...It's a privilege denied to many"

Thank you for being there for me.

Steve

Edited by member 01 Dec 2014 at 23:22  | Reason: Not specified

Really sorry, I forgot to say "Thank you" for all the kind messages you have posted. I really appreciate them. They helped a lot. Faced with what could have happened today, I have to admit to being a little scared.

Thanks.

Steve.

Edited by member 21 Nov 2014 at 21:24  | Reason: Not specified

OMG FFS how many other awful facebook terms can I use. I am so sorry you are in this situation post RT.. it is a very harsh process on your body, especially around the soft areas in a man's lower abdomen,Especially when it is delivered with such intensity over a short period of time. When I was posting all the way through Mick's battle a common observation was that the s..t always eems to hit the fan after 5pm on a Friday.

Hopefully tomorrow morning you will get a much better picture of what is actually happening. Mick did have some very dramatic drops in blood pressure and these were always put down to his anaemia and protein levels in his blood work. Combi of HT and RT I think.

by the time you read this I hope you are feeling so much better.

xxx Mo

Hi,

Well, the day finally arrived when I, at last, seemed to get things sorted.

I saw my oncologist who agreed that I'd had a pretty tough time recently.  I explained to her my need to get things moving so I could get back to work and she reminded me that the most important thing was my health.  She told me that I had been very lucky things had happened as they did.  When I mentioned that I should have been running the Reading Half Marathon in March, she said she thought the way things were, I may not have survived that race, given the state of my heart.  I found that quite a scary thought.

Anyway, she thought I should continue with the suppositories for another week as she thought they seemed to be working.  The bleeding issue has been improving over the last couple of days, so she could be right.  She told me to contact her again if the problem continued.

Before the meeting ended she suggested that I called into the cardiac unit to see if the appointment with my consultant had been booked yet.

This turned out to be very good advice because when I checked with the department, they found that nothing had been booked.  The receptionist was so helpful that she went to see the consultant who came out to see me.  He's a really friendly guy who, when he heard of my situation, immediately booked me an appointment for my angioplasty for the 19th. January, the earliest date they had available.  He said that hopefully, by then, the bleeding issue shouldn't be a problem but if it was, I could always have a double bypass operation instead.  He said he was happy to do whichever I decided on but having read a bit about the bypass op, I think the simpler angioplasty would be my choice even though it would not be as long lasting. 

One thing I checked with him is whether or not I could go back to work next Tuesday after my four week driving ban had finished (a legal requirement following a heart attack).  He said that there should be no problem provided I took it fairly easy to begin with.  Great news.  Before I left, he wished me a Happy Christmas and said he would see me in the New Year.

So I was happy that, at least, I know when things are going to be sorted and that my return to work is in sight.  I won't take any chances, I want to be around for a few more years yet.

Steve

Edited by member 16 Dec 2014 at 00:17  | Reason: Not specified

Oh No - I wish you well and a speedy return to full health and home

Arthur

Thanks for your message.

They have really good internet access here. There's not much I can do apart from reading the wonderful messages people have posted here though it's a bit difficult while being hooked up to two different drips and other equipment.

I hope everyone reading this thread reads them all as I've tried to give more details of what actually happened.

Thanks everyone. Your messages have really cheered me up.

Steve

Steve

Just looked in. On a positive, when you get over these issues you will have the confidence beating PCa will be a breeze.

Good luck

Ray

"Don't regret growing older...It's a privilege denied to many" - spot on Steve

dl

Hi Steve just read your last post as I sit here with time on my hands going through why what if like you ,OH is out feeding the hens pony all the jobs I did , cant have the dogs with me to big may hurt wounds youngest one first show next Sunday but I will not be going, but one of our fellow exhibitors who was not going is going to take them how kind people are when aware of the situation .So I am pondering what to do and have decided to take a clock to bits clean it and put it back together and see if it will work ( old grandfather clock) just trying to decide how to tell her that I need the worktop for a bit ,I am rambling a bit know so will go take care and hope things improve for you . Andy

Edited by member 08 Dec 2014 at 09:51  | Reason: Not specified

Dear Steve

You are going through a really bad patch, things will get better.

Can you speak to your bank about the mortgage to see if they can help you through? Best to tackle these things early than leave it...and worry.

There must be some help that you can get under these circumstances, perhaps others will comment?

I am sorry this is rushed, my little one has severe chicken pox and my OH having had steroids as part of his treatment for the PCa has to avoid people with it!!!

Let us know how you get on at the GP, I am reading your posts and thinking about you...even if I do not have chance to answer at the moment.

Alison x

Those types of doctor are becoming an endangered species. Hope the problem calms down now ready for Christmas you certainly deserve a break from it all.

John

Hello Steve,
Glad you got to see your very efficient and caring doctor. As Dave says, you can't undo the past
(if only eh?) but you can learn from it so, frustrating as the resting up is, use it to let your body heal.

As far as financial health is concerned have you thought to contact the MacMillan people.

I'm not suggesting they will help financially, although that's an option in some cases, but they may have the financial savvy, or know somebody who has, to help you plan your future. You know, point you in the right direction at the bank for the mortgage, tell you how to word the application style of thing is what I mean.

Anyway, chin up young man.

There are people who care. We are all here to listen

PS. I know what you mean about losing a fantastic doctor. I had mine for over 25 years, and his father before him (who wasn't a patch on his son). Mine took early retirement to look after his very sick wife and boy do I miss him.
Everyone of his patients always went over their allotted 10 minutes because he took the time to listen and to explain, but I never ever heard anyone moan about it because he did the same for you. Nightmare for the receptionists though!

They don't seem to make them like that anymore.

Best Wishes

Sandra

Hi,

I finally managed to something sorted.

I rang my oncologist's secretary this morning, explained the situation I'm in and straight away she said I needed to see the oncologist face to face so she booked me an appointment for Monday.  That's more like it, I might at least be referred to someone who can try and fix the bleeding issue.

I was advised yesterday by my cardiac rehab nurse that I should probably not consider working until after I've had the other artery corrected.  Not good news for me but she did say she'd email my cardiac consultant to stress that it was important that my case is treated sooner than later because of my need to return to work. 

Some better news on the work front is that I received an email from the new digital editor of the newspaper I've been working for (who are ceasing their printed editions next week) saying they will probably still be offering work to freelances to supply pictures for their online editions that will replace them.  I'm due to meet him next Thursday at a special staff lunch they are holding, so I want to make a good impression if I can.  It will be sad too because many of the existing staff who are leaving will be saying their goodbyes. 

Anyway, hoping that Monday's appointment will help get things sorted.

Have a nice weekend everyone.

Steve.

Edited by member 12 Dec 2014 at 18:24  | Reason: Not specified

Well done, Steve. Sorting your health comes before everything else.

Paul

Pleased to see that you have some resolution and plans are now in place.

Steve,

I understand your response to your mum entirely. I was in exactly the same dilemma when I was diagnosed. I had had cancer previously and my mum had been very supportive then but it was thirty plus years ago. Now she is 91 and having discussed it with my brothers we decided for now we would not tell her, as she would just worry but is herself too old and infirm to do anything sbout that worry.

I have been lucky for three years now and the situation remains the same. I know that as I have an incurable diagnosis that there will come a time when chemo kicks in and I think I would have to tell her then, until then she can live out her life without that worry. I am realistic enough to know we will both die but kinda hope it is my mum first for this reason, it feels the natural order!

Hi Steve,
The frustration in your words are virtually tangible!
I fully understand the drivers for you getting back to work but I'd say you just need to hold back for the next month and get yourself sorted.
I know news never stops but I'd guess work would be lighter over the Christmas break anyway, so a good time not to be available.

Kick back and focus on the family.

All the best

Kevin