I'm interested in conversations about and I want to talk about

Know exactly what you want?

Show search

Notification

Error

All falling apart

Email this conversation Print this conversation

User

Posted 24 Nov 2014 at 15:11

HI all

This has taken a huge step for me to even get here

I am 48 & diagonsed with it 4 months ago. Not coping at all well.

I am drinking to much now & my wife has left due to my stupid behaviour. I have become very self centred.

Any advice as my whole world is crumbling around me

User

Posted 24 Nov 2014 at 16:50

Hi Flipper!

Welcome to our little, but unfortunately growing club!

From what you say, I would say you're definitely at the "Oh f@@@@@@@ s@@@" stage, where we all have started. But take heart PC is invariably slow growing giving you lots of time to understand the "beastie" and to consider your options. You may not need any treatment at all.

As a "starter for 10", I would recommend you download the prostate toolkit from this site and have a browse of the website, YANA (You are not alone):

http://www.yananow.org/newbyadvice.shtml

Also, if you are able to provide a little more info about your diagnosis e.g. PSA, stage, Gleason Score, that will be a great help.

So, take stock and may this dark phase pass quickly!

Flexi

Edited by member 24 Nov 2014 at 16:53 | Reason: Not specified

User

Posted 24 Nov 2014 at 17:26

Hello Flipper and welcome.
You've taken your first step towards acceptance.

Everyone here is willing to help in anyway they can but to give any relevant advice you will need, as Flexi says, to give as much info as possible.

You are definitely not alone. We cannot know what stage you are at until you tell us but in the meantime take it as a given that support and advice are waiting here for you.

Easy to be "Self Centred" with such a beast hanging over you but you are going to need all your wits about you for taking in the info that is given to you.

The Toolkit, available to download or have as a hard copy from this site, contains valuable information.

All the best Sandra

PS Drinking is understandable under the circumstances of the shock of diagnosis but unfortunately it won't make your cancer go away !! Your body (and mind) need to be as strong as it can be in the weeks and months ahead so you might need to cut back a bit.

Keep posting. Ask for support when you need it. Nobody will mind. Most people on here are either the sufferer or their partner or family member. We all now what you are going through.

Edited by member 24 Nov 2014 at 18:15 | Reason: Not specified

We can't control the winds - but we can adjust our sails

User

Posted 24 Nov 2014 at 17:42

Hi Flipper welcome to the group, I found telling people helped and most where helpful then treated me like normal which is what I wanted , not long with group but put anything up even if it may seem trival sure you will get replays best of luck Andy

User

Posted 24 Nov 2014 at 18:11

Hi Flipper,

Sorry you have been diagnosed with PCa, but you have taken a big step in coming to terms with your diagnosis by joining this forum..

Here you will receive advice from those who can relate to and understand your situation...

Excellent comments and advice provided by others so far.....

It is indeed a shock when you are first diagnosed...

We all understand how you must be feeling at present....

Please keep in touch ...and keep talking

Best Wishes
Luther

User

Posted 24 Nov 2014 at 20:45

Flipper

We all go through rough patches and there is plenty of good advice on here. Why not log onto the site tomorrow and chat on line to one of the nurses, better still pick up the phone and ring one of them. Have you been given details of your local urology support nurses ?

Stay positive.

Thanks Chris

User

Posted 24 Nov 2014 at 21:02

Hi Flipper and welcome to the forum.

Our forum friends have already offered you some good advice.

My purpose in replying is just to let you know you are not alone. We all react to the news in different ways. When I found out I hardly slept a wink that night and I planned my funeral. I slept In the spare room that night and I went over the news again and again. I thought I was either going to die or end up being castrated!

It all seems a bit dramatic now but at the time I just didn't know the extent of the PCa. As time has passed here I am still alive to tell my tale. My profile summarises my PCa journey.

It is good you have found this forum. I have been in a dark place several times but forum members have helped me get back on my feet.

Please don't give in Flipper. All is not lost yet.

User

Posted 25 Nov 2014 at 08:15

Flipper......

1, you dont have to be old to get prostate cancer, no one has a god given right to immunity, weve all been lucky up to now

2, it can probably be fixed, depending on your diagnosis

3, Actively seek out help and good advice...

4, dont indulge in distructive behaviour...i.e. booze never solves anything, if only !

5, long term survival rates can be excellent with the right treatment

6, youve made a positive step by reaching out here, weve all had to do it, swollowing our pride or whatever....

7, Welcome to the club that no one wants to be a member of....youre not alone here.

User

Posted 25 Nov 2014 at 10:33

The men on this forum have all experienced that moment when you are sitting with your GP and are told you have prostate cancer. The shock is enormous and thoughts naturally fly off the scale...what can I do, I'm going to die, what about my wife, what about my children...

The second part is finding out about what you have. Understanding it, coming to terms with it. Finding out, in many cases, that there are many many treatments available that may well cure what you have or at least prolong your life by many years. The realisation that actually you are not going to die anytime soon comes as something of a relief.

Do, as others have asked, post the results of your examinations. That alone will help you to understand them better and others to advise you appropriately. Ask lots of questions of your consultant. Do so here on this forum and someone will have experience of what you need to know.

And finally, don't drink the cheap stuff. Life's too short....

User

Posted 06 Dec 2014 at 18:39

Hi DC,

Only just seen your post. I haven't been round for a while.

I was diagnosed in May at 44. I was alerted to a raised PSA level on xmas eve 2013 and my marriage was struggling at the time too due to my stupidity.

I was at the point of going directly to sainsburies next door to the hospital after each consult & buying a bottle of scotch. Not stopping the drinking until the bottle was dry.

Nearly 12 months down the line, my wife has been fantastic. Totally understanding & had me back. A lot of hard work on both parts. We sorted & talked through all the issues before we both made the decision to start over. It ain't easy & all about compromise & listening but fantastic to be together again.

I've just gone back to work part time after nearly 4 months off. I had the prostatectomy & 2 further dilitations due to urethral complications. One of which came from being taken into A&E.

The whole experience has been surreal. Ive over drunk, over eaten, put a stone on & been a misery but there's light at the end of the tunnel.

I'm still dribbling, I have ED, no life in the old boy at all but I've had a pump which is helping. It's not like it was, but it's different & the relief to have penetrative sex again after months was fantastic.

I really did think the ED would destroy me. Being so young & previously having no issues. Would have to say though. The results of the pump are good. It's a bit of a passion killer at the moment but we are having a chuckle & there's orher 'things' to do too.

My resultant erection is actually rather impressive.& considering the alternatives, I'm over the moon. Hopefully I'll heal in time & be able to have a natural erection once more.

You're not alone Mate, your feelings are normal. After all, you're human like the rest of us.

Hope you are getting your head round your options & having a good think on each. I'd like to think I've emerged from this process a better person with a totally different outlook.

Let us know how it's going & if you want a chat, I'll pm you my mobile number.

Edited by member 06 Dec 2014 at 18:45 | Reason: Not specified

Life's a Marathon. Run in peace.

User

Posted 06 Dec 2014 at 20:47

Hi flipper

not much I can say as others have given you good advice.

My reason for the reply is that I haven't noticed you back on the forum so I was juzt concernd as to how you are you took the hard step with your first post please keep posting it's good to talk.

Hope to hear from you soon it will get easier.

Carol

User

Posted 28 Nov 2015 at 14:55

Hi everyone

Its been almost a yr since i was here & an awful lots has happened.

In a nut shell I have had robotic surgery to remove prostate. All contained within prostate & i have been told i am now clear!

Continence bit rubbish at first but getting better every week. NO erections yet without help from a pump but fingers crossed that will start to come back in the next 12 months or so.

So all is great really. Starting to look forward to the future again.

Thanks for all your kind words & support

User

Posted 28 Nov 2015 at 15:22

Hi Flipper,
many congrats to you I have just seen your posts , you and everyone else on here are inspiring I wish you all the best for your future.
RichardK

Jackdusty@C

Email this conversation Print this conversation

Join the online community now.

Click through to become a member and gain access to support, information and real time replies.