I'm interested in conversations about and I want to talk about
Know exactly what you want?
Show search

Notification

Error

It's all geeting too much

Email this conversation Print this conversation
User
Posted 08 Dec 2014 at 11:25

I had a prostatectomy in 2011 followed by radiotherapy and have been on hormone therapy for 18 months. I am still incontinent and have to wear pads all the time. I am also impotent. At 58 now I am feeling much more the effects of all the past three years together with worse side effects from the hormones. I was getting more and longer hot flushes, increased fatigue but the worst thing has been the emotional side of things. I feel so low and teary. I've just returned to work after three weeks signed off. My employer said to go home, see my GP and get signed off. I was expecting a referral to occupational therapy but it hasn't materialized. I've come back in today having felt somewhat better after a rest but I'm now feeling anxious because the only feedback I've had from HR is "I really can't see you now, I have something urgent to work on." There's been no contact despite asking several times while I've been off so I'm all over the shop again. It's made me realize that I'm more fragile than I thought when I came in this morning. I find it hard to talk to my wife as so much of what is going on affects her too. She keeps reassuring me about things but I find it hard to put my feelings into words. Frankly, I feel a mess.

User
Posted 08 Dec 2014 at 15:38

It's not surprising you feel a mess with all that's happened. If HR can't get their act together and give you the support you need, then if you are unable to work effectively, then you should go back to your GP.

Your wife also needs to know exactly how things are. More than ever, you need support and understanding of your family and friends. I hope the emotional side will get better, but living with incontinence and impotency and still being on treatment can't fail to affect you. If work can't help, then it doesn't say much about them as an employer.

Hope you get the help you obviously need.

Paul

Stay Calm And Carry On.
User
Posted 08 Dec 2014 at 22:26
Just posted this on another thread. It may be of some help as you are covered by the equality act at work due to your cancer diagnosis

Hope you get the support you need

Bri

http://www.macmillan.org.uk/Documents/GetInvolved/Campaigns/WorkingThroughCancer/EqualityAct2010workhomepage.pdf

Edited by member 08 Dec 2014 at 22:32  | Reason: Not specified

User
Posted 08 Dec 2014 at 23:13

Beat me to it Bri!

Revreaston, perhaps email your HR department, copying your boss in, to point out that you are currently undergoing treatment for cancer and as such, the responsibilities of the employer are described in the Equality Act 2010. This includes them undertaking a workplace assessment and making any reasonable adjustments you need to be able to fulfil your employment without putting your health at risk.

"Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards." Soren Kierkegaard

Show Most Thanked Posts
User
Posted 08 Dec 2014 at 15:38

It's not surprising you feel a mess with all that's happened. If HR can't get their act together and give you the support you need, then if you are unable to work effectively, then you should go back to your GP.

Your wife also needs to know exactly how things are. More than ever, you need support and understanding of your family and friends. I hope the emotional side will get better, but living with incontinence and impotency and still being on treatment can't fail to affect you. If work can't help, then it doesn't say much about them as an employer.

Hope you get the help you obviously need.

Paul

Stay Calm And Carry On.
User
Posted 08 Dec 2014 at 22:26
Just posted this on another thread. It may be of some help as you are covered by the equality act at work due to your cancer diagnosis

Hope you get the support you need

Bri

http://www.macmillan.org.uk/Documents/GetInvolved/Campaigns/WorkingThroughCancer/EqualityAct2010workhomepage.pdf

Edited by member 08 Dec 2014 at 22:32  | Reason: Not specified

User
Posted 08 Dec 2014 at 23:13

Beat me to it Bri!

Revreaston, perhaps email your HR department, copying your boss in, to point out that you are currently undergoing treatment for cancer and as such, the responsibilities of the employer are described in the Equality Act 2010. This includes them undertaking a workplace assessment and making any reasonable adjustments you need to be able to fulfil your employment without putting your health at risk.

"Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards." Soren Kierkegaard

User
Posted 09 Dec 2014 at 09:53

I went and harassed HR eventually. We completed my occupational health referral and I should get an appointment before Christmas. I also have a number to arrange some counseling support. Lots of apologies for the slow response due to illness in HR and over burdened staff. I just said it would have been good to know that.

Thanks for the reassurance and support. There are times when it's good to know that it's alright to feel like this. We forget how much this journey takes out of us.

My wife and I went out for an impromptu meal last night and talked about things more. Still a way to go but one step at a time.

User
Posted 09 Dec 2014 at 19:03

Good to hear things are on the up

Bri

User
Posted 10 Dec 2014 at 00:21

Good to see progress.  Talking and being as open as possible is the best way to proceed to ensure you get all the support you need.  Keep it up, and good luck with your HR appointment.

 

Paul

Stay Calm And Carry On.
 
Forum Jump  
Email this conversation Print this conversation

Join the online community now.

Click through to become a member and gain access to support, information and real time replies.




MenuTop ▲
©2024 Prostate Cancer UK