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Is this a bit of a strange take on this subject?

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User
Posted 10 Dec 2014 at 11:14

O.K. I'm now about 12 weeks since the op.  And of course, ED is an issue to some degree. 

Yes, for sure, it would be jolly nice to - in that respect - turn back the clock three months.  (and who knows what might be the case in the future, perhaps future developments will result in stems cells being implanted post RP which grow back into a prostate and seminal vesicles and necessary nerves).

Meanwhile however - in one way I'm finding a bit surprisingly - I'm not as bothered about it as I perhaps "ought" to be. 

In fact, and maybe even more strangely, it's less the erectile problems and more the lack of ejaculate that bugs me.  I'm finding I'm beginning to take a bit of a "if I can't actually ejaculate, then really what's the point of it all?" kind of attitude.

Is that kind of weird / unusual, or have others been of that view?

 

 

Life is a journey. You can't move forward on a journey AND stay in the same place.
User
Posted 12 Dec 2014 at 16:41

Rivertweed, it's when members become "personal" that others can really relate to it. Thank you for sharing

Many might be thinking it and feeling isolated because of that thinking, but when somebody posts pretty well that they feel it too then it's not so "abnormal".

It's not until we go through something like this that many inhibitions go out of the window.
Many new mums would probably tell you following childbirth that they'd never be embarrassed again!  http://community.prostatecanceruk.org/editors/tiny_mce/plugins/emoticons/img/smiley-embarassed.gif

Doikosp, .

Quote" " I'm finding I'm beginning to take a bit of a "if I can't actually ejaculate, then really what's the point of it all?" kind of attitude."

As a woman I obviously cannot understand the physical feeling you are talking about but from a woman's point of view, it's the sharing that matters. I hope things improve for you and you regain that sense of closeness that you are currently missing.
Best Wishes
Sandra

Edited by member 12 Dec 2014 at 16:42  | Reason: Not specified

We can't control the winds - but we can adjust our sails
User
Posted 12 Dec 2014 at 16:09
Hi Patrick

I had op to remove prostate just over 2 years ago so I am a bit ahead of you on my PCa journey.

I have to admit I still miss ejaculation and I would put money on it that most men in our position feel the same. It's part of being a man. So I do not think your thinking is unusual or that you are alone.

At the 12 week mark I didn't know about this forum and my head was all over the place. On one hand I was of course glad to be alive but on the other I was quite depressed. My libido had returned but despite this It was clear ED was going to be an issue and (I am going to be very frank) the thought of not being able to experience the pleasures of the flesh again was devastating.

However, time has passed and whilst the ED has still to be overcome, I have (with the support of a wonderful wife) found that all is not completely lost in the bedroom department. Let me put it this way, whilst it is impossible to ejaculate, a "dry orgasm" is still fulfilling and in my view, "the point of it all".

You are still in the early stages of recovery so I hope in time things improve for you in all areas.

Apologies for being a bit personal. If you knew me I am actually quite a reserved chap but since having PCa I have lost some of my inhibitions!

Sending best wishes.

User
Posted 12 Dec 2014 at 18:39

Hi doikosp,have you had your first consultation since the op,that is a good place to talk about ED.did they do nerve sparing have you been offered viagra/cialis? I don't know about others but to me dry ejaculations are more intense than previous ones.

User
Posted 12 Dec 2014 at 20:38

Yep. We recognise your feelings in this house - the lack of ejaculation is still distressing to John 5 years on.

"Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards." Soren Kierkegaard

User
Posted 13 Dec 2014 at 17:25

Hi All,

Many thanks for your thoughts and comments.

Just to clarify, or perhaps to put a bit more flesh onto my post.  I am currently on Cialis - though for economy reasons they're moving me over to Viagra shortly (apparently it's cheaper now that the drug isn't licensed any more).

My OH and I are very close and she has been a major support to me as we've travelled on this journey together.

And - perhaps like others - I guess at first I took the attitude of 'What the heck if the orgasm is "dry", at least I'll probably still be able to get a hard-on at least at some point in time in the future'. 

However, I'm now wondering if I really meant that!

Of course the fact that I'm currently in remission - I got a <0.03 PSA at 3 months post RP - is hugely more important than the erections or the orgasms whether wet or dry.

But, to be honest, I've not come across any other person in this boat seemingly being all that bothered about the loss of ejaculatory function, it's all been about the erectile function or lack of it.

Best Regards to all.

 

Life is a journey. You can't move forward on a journey AND stay in the same place.
User
Posted 14 Dec 2014 at 14:15
No not normal. Sean was given viagra to start taking 2 tablets a week at about 5 weeks.

He had a pump shortly afterwards.

Hope this helps . Don't wait around for appointments, ring the consultants secretary.

If we hadn't been proactive, alot of things would have been missed.

User
Posted 15 Dec 2014 at 18:47

FWIW I don't miss the end result of orgasm. The mere fact that I am able to enjoy orgasm by intercourse and by hand is good enough for me.

My view was that there was a chance that I would not get anything post op so whatever I have regained, I focus on and make the most of, frequently! I don't regard myself as any less of a man, just a different man. But hey, it is what it is.

Dave

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User
Posted 12 Dec 2014 at 16:09
Hi Patrick

I had op to remove prostate just over 2 years ago so I am a bit ahead of you on my PCa journey.

I have to admit I still miss ejaculation and I would put money on it that most men in our position feel the same. It's part of being a man. So I do not think your thinking is unusual or that you are alone.

At the 12 week mark I didn't know about this forum and my head was all over the place. On one hand I was of course glad to be alive but on the other I was quite depressed. My libido had returned but despite this It was clear ED was going to be an issue and (I am going to be very frank) the thought of not being able to experience the pleasures of the flesh again was devastating.

However, time has passed and whilst the ED has still to be overcome, I have (with the support of a wonderful wife) found that all is not completely lost in the bedroom department. Let me put it this way, whilst it is impossible to ejaculate, a "dry orgasm" is still fulfilling and in my view, "the point of it all".

You are still in the early stages of recovery so I hope in time things improve for you in all areas.

Apologies for being a bit personal. If you knew me I am actually quite a reserved chap but since having PCa I have lost some of my inhibitions!

Sending best wishes.

User
Posted 12 Dec 2014 at 16:41

Rivertweed, it's when members become "personal" that others can really relate to it. Thank you for sharing

Many might be thinking it and feeling isolated because of that thinking, but when somebody posts pretty well that they feel it too then it's not so "abnormal".

It's not until we go through something like this that many inhibitions go out of the window.
Many new mums would probably tell you following childbirth that they'd never be embarrassed again!  http://community.prostatecanceruk.org/editors/tiny_mce/plugins/emoticons/img/smiley-embarassed.gif

Doikosp, .

Quote" " I'm finding I'm beginning to take a bit of a "if I can't actually ejaculate, then really what's the point of it all?" kind of attitude."

As a woman I obviously cannot understand the physical feeling you are talking about but from a woman's point of view, it's the sharing that matters. I hope things improve for you and you regain that sense of closeness that you are currently missing.
Best Wishes
Sandra

Edited by member 12 Dec 2014 at 16:42  | Reason: Not specified

We can't control the winds - but we can adjust our sails
User
Posted 12 Dec 2014 at 18:39

Hi doikosp,have you had your first consultation since the op,that is a good place to talk about ED.did they do nerve sparing have you been offered viagra/cialis? I don't know about others but to me dry ejaculations are more intense than previous ones.

User
Posted 12 Dec 2014 at 20:38

Yep. We recognise your feelings in this house - the lack of ejaculation is still distressing to John 5 years on.

"Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards." Soren Kierkegaard

User
Posted 13 Dec 2014 at 17:25

Hi All,

Many thanks for your thoughts and comments.

Just to clarify, or perhaps to put a bit more flesh onto my post.  I am currently on Cialis - though for economy reasons they're moving me over to Viagra shortly (apparently it's cheaper now that the drug isn't licensed any more).

My OH and I are very close and she has been a major support to me as we've travelled on this journey together.

And - perhaps like others - I guess at first I took the attitude of 'What the heck if the orgasm is "dry", at least I'll probably still be able to get a hard-on at least at some point in time in the future'. 

However, I'm now wondering if I really meant that!

Of course the fact that I'm currently in remission - I got a <0.03 PSA at 3 months post RP - is hugely more important than the erections or the orgasms whether wet or dry.

But, to be honest, I've not come across any other person in this boat seemingly being all that bothered about the loss of ejaculatory function, it's all been about the erectile function or lack of it.

Best Regards to all.

 

Life is a journey. You can't move forward on a journey AND stay in the same place.
User
Posted 14 Dec 2014 at 14:15
No not normal. Sean was given viagra to start taking 2 tablets a week at about 5 weeks.

He had a pump shortly afterwards.

Hope this helps . Don't wait around for appointments, ring the consultants secretary.

If we hadn't been proactive, alot of things would have been missed.

User
Posted 14 Dec 2014 at 14:42
We know just what you mean!

Complain through the hospital's website.Amazing what it did for us.

User
Posted 14 Dec 2014 at 15:56
So agree.A very familiar experience! !

Ring people.Contact the local paper, anything to get the attention, that they are doing a very poor job.

It's bad enough having the op and all it entails, without all the rest.

User
Posted 14 Dec 2014 at 15:57
So agree.A very familiar experience! !

Ring people.Contact the local paper, anything to get the attention, that they are doing a very poor job.

It's bad enough having the op and all it entails, without all the rest.

User
Posted 15 Dec 2014 at 18:47

FWIW I don't miss the end result of orgasm. The mere fact that I am able to enjoy orgasm by intercourse and by hand is good enough for me.

My view was that there was a chance that I would not get anything post op so whatever I have regained, I focus on and make the most of, frequently! I don't regard myself as any less of a man, just a different man. But hey, it is what it is.

Dave

 
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