Hello Steve,
I hesitated a long time before posting on this thread again and I’ve thought very hard about what to say.
I hope you are still reading, even if you have been hurt by some of our comments.
I tend to think of this website as an extended family, even though I know I am never going to meet any of you in real life.
Sometimes, as a family, we speak our mind, I’m sure you’ve had that in your own “terrestrial” family.
Words are said because somebody in the family feels their thoughts need to be out in the open.
We get impatient with people we care about, perhaps because we feel they could do better or more to help themselves.
We want the best for them and get stressed on that member’s behalf if it appears they aren’t doing the best for themselves.
I think part of your problems have been that you have used the site as a personal diary, using it to reflect your mood or unhappiness and you’ve shared things with us that you wouldn’t have dreamt of doing pre PCa.
When you read back over what you wrote in this diary you’ve realised that the comment was either unfair or unkind and so have altered it, without first considering that the “dialogue” would then appear disjointed to anyone else reading it as well as making another member’s comment either superfluous or nonsense.
I know that was never your intention, you wouldn’t knowingly want to hurt any of your online “family” but that was the result.
As far as the discrepancy of whether it was you or Mrs Steve wanting her list posted, I can see that it could happen either way. She gives you a list, you ask if you can post it to show you are sorry and that you love her and she says she hopes you will as that was what she intended to happen. As far as she is concerned, you've posted everything else.
It doesn’t really matter does it, who said what to whom. She loves you, she’s hurting and so are you because you caused it.
Thistledubh calls it “Tough Love” and it is.
What has been written is because your Prostate family DOES care.
Don’t desert us because a few home truths might have hurt. Accept it all as a gently chiding. We want the best for you so now go out and do your best to get it!!
Let this post die a natural death. It is 11 pages long and has 518 comments on it, practically all of it supportive when you needed us most.
Stay with us Steve, and Mrs Steve if she feels she can bear to be part of us, but start another chapter of your story.
Much of what you have experienced and gone through will be unique to you (Although Julie understands very well what it has been like) and you have much to offer new members in the future who may suffer in the same way.
You can’t give back to other people if you are not on here taking part.
You have been given back your life, twice now, and you have to live it to the best of your ability or it was all pointless.
_________________________________________________________________________________________________
There you are, a line drawn
Start again.
Keep us up to date with your progress, because there will be some.
Keep us up to date with work, because there will be some.
Keep us up to date with the brand new members of your family.
Live for them, if you can't do it for us.
All the best
Sandra