Hi,
Really sorry for not posting much recently, it's been a difficult time for me. I didn't feel as if I could post, even though I was visiting the site each day to make sure everyone was ok.
Earlier today, I re-read my "How Lucky We Are" thread, because there had been a couple of new messages and I realised that I was ignoring my own and others advice. If ever I needed support, it's now.
I don't feel as if I've ever felt so low as I have in the last two weeks. I'm just so fed up with everything going wrong in my life, there never seems to be any "light at the end of the tunnel". I just want something nice to happen for a change. I think I've had my share of bad luck. My mum's illness is the final straw.
I seem to be too tired to do anything and I don't care, I would rather sleep. I mean to do things each day but then don't, I'm wasting so much time which I'm sure I'll regret one day. It's causing tension at home, love and support which I've enjoyed since cancer diagnosis seems to be draining away now, perhaps I've been at home too long. I will probably go back to work at the end of the month if my heart is fixed or not. The money has run out now and it's impossible to survive on £113.70 per week when the phone is ringing all the time demanding money. It's causing so much stress (which I'm supposed to avoid). Sometimes I just want everything to end. Selling the house may be the only solution but I would feel even more of a failure if I did that because I wouldn't be able to buy another. I've fought so hard to try and survive the recession.
I think that's all I can post, I don't think the words are flowing as they normally do, just the reason I wasn't posting before.
Steve
Edited by member 12 Mar 2015 at 20:30
| Reason: Not specified