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Cancer will not get me

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User
Posted 01 Jan 2015 at 16:06

Joined this club almost three months ago. Wish I wasn't a member but resist the temptation to shout "why me?" because an equally valid question is "why not me?". On Zoladex since early November and so far have been lucky with the absence of virtually all side-effects (when I feel hot and bothered I put it down to my central heating which has been on full blast in the cold weather). Coping with the uncertainty of this illness is still very difficult, and will probably be so for some time until I can get used to the new certainty that my life is now much more uncertain than it used to be. I hope that realization will come to me eventually and I am working on it. Hell, PCa and all the uncertainty that goes with its treatment is a right b*s*a*d but so many other people have to cope with uncertainty in their lives that I believe, I am trying to force myself to think, that I am being delusional in wishing for a more certain life. My objective in life now is to manage this uncertainty, live with it, keep the flame of hope alive and enjoy life as much as I can. Do you remember that marvellous cancer sufferer, sadly no longer with us, called I think Stephen Sutton, who succumbed to cancer in his teens last year, but who said with pride that: "I've got cancer; cancer hasn't got me." That inspirational lad shows me how I should think about this disease.

User
Posted 01 Jan 2015 at 19:10

Hi Cliftonian

Sorry you find yourself here but it's a very supportive group.

There are men on here who have/had a similar dx to yourself and who were diagnosed quite some years ago. Look at Alathays profile as an example.

I am sure other men in a similar situation will post and offer you some reassurance.

You have the right attitude about enjoying life and I totally agree about how inspirational Stephen was. There are some pretty inspirational people on here.

keep posting and remember you are not alone with this

take care

Bri

User
Posted 01 Jan 2015 at 23:31

Hello Owen, belated welcome.

Keep fighting.

I too followed young Stephen every step of the way.
My own 13 year old grandson had an advanced inoperable cancer diagnosis nearly 5 years ago and the following year his mother was diagnosed with advanced bowel cancer. At one stage they were both being treated together.

My lovely daughter ended up at 38 with a colostomy, My darling grandson is now just 18. Every day is a bonus.

Not once did I hear either of them say those words "Why me" indeed, like you, my daughter also said "Why not me"

They, like Stephen, are an inspiration.

As are all the men on here who fight to survive this cancer.

Best Wishes

Sandra

We can't control the winds - but we can adjust our sails
User
Posted 02 Jan 2015 at 13:25

Hi Owen,

Welcome to the forum, i can think of many places i would rather be.

If i was to go back two years our diagnosis are almost identical with the exception that my PSA was very low. My first appointment was to be a new hip but luckily 5 shots of RT and regular injections of Denosumab has so far prevented any breakage.

As you are probably aware it will be one tough journey but believe me the new drugs coming through and with plenty more in the pipeline gives us all a good hand to play with.

I wish you are the best, ask any questions, someone here would have been there or done it

Si

 

 

Don't deny the diagnosis; try to defy the verdict
Show Most Thanked Posts
User
Posted 01 Jan 2015 at 19:10

Hi Cliftonian

Sorry you find yourself here but it's a very supportive group.

There are men on here who have/had a similar dx to yourself and who were diagnosed quite some years ago. Look at Alathays profile as an example.

I am sure other men in a similar situation will post and offer you some reassurance.

You have the right attitude about enjoying life and I totally agree about how inspirational Stephen was. There are some pretty inspirational people on here.

keep posting and remember you are not alone with this

take care

Bri

User
Posted 01 Jan 2015 at 19:58

Hello Cliftonian and welcome to the site.

Many of us on here understand exactly how you are feeling, including the wives and partners who are affected by this disease too.

My OH opted to go on the STAMPEDE trial and the additional appointments/checks were reassuring and gave an extra level of care that maybe we would not have had otherwise. It also gave us an opportunity to get to know the Onco better, and he us, which is always a bonus. He has helped us with every query that we have had (as every symptom is a worry whether it is PCa related or not!), and he organised extra tests for us irrelevant of causes.

I do not have much else to add, just to say I hope that you find this site helpful, as we have, but you are right the uncertainty that this disease brings is one of the most difficult aspects to deal with.

kind regards

 

Alison

 

 

User
Posted 01 Jan 2015 at 20:39
Hi

Do read my post: The Road of Certain Uncertainty. I hope this puts things into perspective for you.

Good luck brother.

Bazza (Barry)

User
Posted 01 Jan 2015 at 21:44
Hi Cliftonian, sorry you are here. We have lots in common my friend (and a few bits less so) although I realise from this great forum that no two cases are the same.

I am 49, diagnosed 6/11/16 psa342, Gleason 9, T4 N1M1a, I am lucky that I don't have bone mets but have lymph spread. Like u, on zoladex PSA down to 65. I am someone who has always planned everything in life and given it my all, like you I now have an inability to plan for example next years summer holiday ( I would usually have booked in November). Uncertainty rules ok.

I am starting 18 weeks of chemo in 12 days, very scared as unknown however telling myself that by staying fit and a sensible diet I may be in more control of side affects, I perhaps nievely think I will run a marathon in April!

So what am I saying? I can't tell you what is right but you are not alone in being here. Plan/ influence what you can and focus on that, ignore what you can't.

There is more than a flame of hope as like you I have few side effects so you don't need hope to enjoy today and tomorrow or the day after. Plan those and do what you want to ( I have found myself becoming more philanthropic, more tolerant of peoples failings but less tolerant of wasting time). As for 2015, my destiny may have me being knocked down by a car at any time and I never worried about that before so I am not going to worry about something that should be many years away. I hope my ramblings will help you work out what you need to, you have many friends you don't realise all here to talk to. Hope all goes well for 2015. Kev

Dream like you have forever, live like you only have today Avatar is me doing the 600 mile Camino de Santiago May 2019

User
Posted 01 Jan 2015 at 22:53

Hello Owen,
Yes there are lots of men on here who are still here after several years, I'm 9 years since first being told I've got PCa, and, as Brian says if you look at Allister (allathays) profile, or anyones for that matter, you can see what treatment we have gone through.

Kevin, hope your Chemo treatment goes well, and as we said at Euston, your body will tell you when to rest.


Happy New Year to all..........

Chris.

User
Posted 01 Jan 2015 at 23:31

Hello Owen, belated welcome.

Keep fighting.

I too followed young Stephen every step of the way.
My own 13 year old grandson had an advanced inoperable cancer diagnosis nearly 5 years ago and the following year his mother was diagnosed with advanced bowel cancer. At one stage they were both being treated together.

My lovely daughter ended up at 38 with a colostomy, My darling grandson is now just 18. Every day is a bonus.

Not once did I hear either of them say those words "Why me" indeed, like you, my daughter also said "Why not me"

They, like Stephen, are an inspiration.

As are all the men on here who fight to survive this cancer.

Best Wishes

Sandra

We can't control the winds - but we can adjust our sails
User
Posted 02 Jan 2015 at 13:25

Hi Owen,

Welcome to the forum, i can think of many places i would rather be.

If i was to go back two years our diagnosis are almost identical with the exception that my PSA was very low. My first appointment was to be a new hip but luckily 5 shots of RT and regular injections of Denosumab has so far prevented any breakage.

As you are probably aware it will be one tough journey but believe me the new drugs coming through and with plenty more in the pipeline gives us all a good hand to play with.

I wish you are the best, ask any questions, someone here would have been there or done it

Si

 

 

Don't deny the diagnosis; try to defy the verdict
User
Posted 02 Jan 2015 at 18:15
Hello Cliftonian,

My husband Tony was diagnosed in early September with extensive bone mets and a sky-high PSA, so we're in a similar position to you. I think it has taken us most of this time to get over the shock and, as you say, learn to accept the uncertainty. We feel that we've got our heads round it now, and can usually talk in quite a matter-of-fact way about what lies ahead. There will be further crises,shocks and disappointments to come, but we are learning to live in the moment and managing (mostly) not to let the shadow of the future fall on the many good, bright, joyful things we have in our lives.

Marje

 
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