support and help

Sorry to hear about your father in law, I know it's a very worrying time and I'm wondering if your FIL has been referred to an oncologist since they are often a more appropriate specialist than a urologist (though some people here are very happy with their urologist treating them). It would help a little if you were able to tell us his G score, and current PSA although with many mets and such a high PSA he must be very high risk.

Has he had any contact with the local MacMillan or hospice staff? I tend to recommend an early referral as they can talk to him about his Cancer and are brilliant at advising on pain relief and can coordinate between GP and hospital on his behalf.

I don't think anyone here can say if the pain you mention is the Cancer spreading further, I think this is something he should discuss with his GP, urologist or his specialist nurse. My own husband had some dreadful pain and awful blood results last year, we all thought (including the oncology team) that it was the Cancer and it turned out to be a blocked bile duct.

It's such a worrying time, but if it helps at all, we have guys here with even higher PSAs and they are still going strong. Depending on his current general state of health and his age there are other courses of treatment that can be offered. I mention age purely from the point of view that my own FIL didn't want any treatment, at 90 years old he wasn't interested.

Please let us know a few more details if you can and definitely get a referral to MacMillan as soon as possible.

PS, I'm not sure if you know but you can click on a user name and see the profile information of other members, it often helps to get an idea of how others have fared.

Kindest regards

Allison

Hello Sheena,

Your father in law sounds truly fed up with everything, and understandably so. I was a palliative care CNS in a district hospital, and I suspect his groin pain may be a combination of the lymphoedema (if you meant that, rather than lymphoma) and perhaps some nerve pain from the affected lymph nodes you mention. It could also be ureter pressure and pain from his kidney. However, only a thorough clinical examination could confirm the cause.

Its an excellent idea to ask for a specialist palliative care nurse referral, as he or she could give both good symptom control and psychological support.

They would also be the 'short cut' to other services that your father in law could benefit from. The GP, specialist nurse at the hospital or Hosp doctor could make the referral for you.

Hope he feels more comfortable soon....

Warm wishes

Sue

He might actually enjoy the drop in centre at the hospice, as the staff and volunteers there will be very skilled at taking things at his pace...so should let him talk about things as much or as little as he feels comfortable with. I'm sure the GP did this, but just checking he's got some laxatives prescribed, as morphine is a great constipator, and he might find that to be a problem he could do without. He might be feeling a little sleepy too, for 2-3 days whilst his body adjusts to morphine dose.

Are you ok? It can feel a big weight on your shoulders when someone you care about is having a tough time...?

Warm wishes

Sue

Edited by member 26 Jan 2015 at 21:50  | Reason: Not specified

Hi Sheena,

You'd be very welcome at the hospice, I'm sure...and as well as support for you, it would give you a chance to ask questions and get a feel for the place.

You're doing a grand job caring for your father in law, (and keeping an eye on your husband's well being). I'll message you, and we can stay in touch?

Warm wishes

Sue