Where do I stand now ?

Hi

If you reflect on what you have been through over the last year or so it's absolutely understandable how you are feeling.

As well as going through all this it sounds like you've lost the person you were probably relying upon for support.

You have caught the cancer early enough to have the tumour removed. So that's the easy bit dealt with. The aftermath is something different. It's often referred to as a roller coaster due to the many ups and downs we experience along the way. You will have good days, you will have bad days. But if those bads days are taking over it may be worth discussing with your GP.

It may be worthwhile checking if there is a local support group. It does help to talk to others who can empathise. Failing that PCUK offer a service where you can talk to men who have been through it.

Have you had decent post-op aftercare eg erectile dysfunction support etc?

One thing for sure you are not alone. You have hopefully rid yourself of the cancer. You are young so have many years ahead. But you just need a bit of support now to deal with how you are feeling. This is quite normal under the circumstances

Bri

Oh Happy Chappy.
Another woman to add a viewpoint, although really I can but agree with Edamo and the men.
Less of a man? Why is that?
Is the feeling based on the apparent failure of the 3 year partnership. Was that due to PC or its effects on that relationship?
The relationship may have ended even without the cancer.
You are only one year on from your surgery and although that feels like it will never end, your body has taken a massive mauling and needs time to repair. Your life has changed forever from the way it was before, but your new life is cancer free and your will body will heal in time.
Many men on here will tell you their stories of how difficult life can be WITH an understanding partner.
You, on the other hand are trying to struggle along on your own.
Please seek help, be that a listening ear from the nurses on this site, your GP or even just us.
IF you are having ED problems have you been referred to an ED clinic or nurse for professional assistance. If not, then seek that help out. If you had partial nerve sparing then there is still more to look forward to in the future in the way of relationships, but from what I understand from those men in your situation, the physical side doesn't happen just because you want it to - you have to do your bit to help it along via drugs or pumps.

Feel like a rant, then have one.
We understand the feelings but more to the point, if you keep in touch there will be people on here who can give you their slant on the feelings you have.

You are not alone on this path you are walking.

There's always a listening ear with us lot.

Whatever else you are feeling, the one of worthlessness or being less of a man is not valid.

You have been brave enough to tackle your cancer head on with major surgery. Don't regret that road you took. There would have been no guarantees whatever your choice had been. That's what cancer is like - unpredictable.

Your confidence will come back, you'll see. Please just give yourself time.

Best Wishes
Sandra

Edited by member 11 Feb 2015 at 21:44  | Reason: Not specified