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Getting mentally prepared for results day tomorrow

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User
Posted 04 May 2015 at 20:54
Steve, my OH, gets all of his results from Guys hospital tomorrow -it's been a very long week since his biopsy last Monday. We've both tried to keep busy over the long weekend, he decided to work all 3 days and I've cleaned the house like my mother in law is coming to stay 😳 - anything to take our minds off of the appointment.

Thanks to the great advice and guidance I've been given via this forum I now know to ask about the "numbers" and to prioritise: life, bladder control and sex - there was no contest for that order! The Toolkit was an excellent resource, unfortunately Steve still slightly has his head in the sand so he's only read the Diet & Lifestyle leaflet - but I suppose that's a start. I've given him a bit of a "talking to" and said that he's got to focus tomorrow as it's all about him, firm but fair - I'm sure some of the other wives have done the same (or is it just me).

I'll post an update tomorrow, once again thanks for all of the help and for being here.

Maureen x

"You're braver than you believe, stronger than you seem and smarter than you think." A A Milne
User
Posted 05 May 2015 at 09:10
Maureen

I wish you all the very best today for your results. I think us wives and partners deal with this in the only way we can. By being there and being supportive in every way possible. Your husband probably isn't burying his head in the sand he is just reacting to the worst change imaginable to him right now. Denial is how the mind copes initially.

This is why it is so critical for you to be everything he cannot. He almost certainly will move into acceptance at some point and when he does he will turn to you to answer all the questions he wanted to ask but just couldn't at the time.

I considered myself to be Mick's wingman, I never had control of the fight but I was there to provide cover from the enemy and to support his fight however best I could.

Probably not the best analogy but it worked for me.

I will be thinking of you, Trish and your Husbands today as all of us here will be.

Very best wishes

Xx

Mo

User
Posted 04 May 2015 at 20:54
Steve, my OH, gets all of his results from Guys hospital tomorrow -it's been a very long week since his biopsy last Monday. We've both tried to keep busy over the long weekend, he decided to work all 3 days and I've cleaned the house like my mother in law is coming to stay 😳 - anything to take our minds off of the appointment.

Thanks to the great advice and guidance I've been given via this forum I now know to ask about the "numbers" and to prioritise: life, bladder control and sex - there was no contest for that order! The Toolkit was an excellent resource, unfortunately Steve still slightly has his head in the sand so he's only read the Diet & Lifestyle leaflet - but I suppose that's a start. I've given him a bit of a "talking to" and said that he's got to focus tomorrow as it's all about him, firm but fair - I'm sure some of the other wives have done the same (or is it just me).

I'll post an update tomorrow, once again thanks for all of the help and for being here.

Maureen x

"You're braver than you believe, stronger than you seem and smarter than you think." A A Milne
User
Posted 04 May 2015 at 23:21

Hi Maureen,

I just wanted to say, you are in my thoughts.  I really hope everything goes well for you and Steve tomorrow. 

Thank you for your recent PM, it was very kind of you. 

I know this is a very scary time but I know that you both will find the strength to deal with the outcome.  Steve has managed to cope with very difficult challenges and will do again.  The two of you are not going through this alone, we are with you every step of the way.

Good luck for tomorrow.

Steve x

User
Posted 05 May 2015 at 06:42
Hi Maureen

Hope all goes well today

Arthur

User
Posted 05 May 2015 at 06:52
Hi Maureen,

Thinking of you today, you're not alone and also my husband still has his head in the sand we are seeing the surgeon this evening at London Bridge Hospital to talk about Da Vinci and then the oncologist on Thursday to discuss Brachytherapy but I will be the one asking all the questions because he still hasn't read anything and just leaving it all to me.

Best wishes,

Trish x

User
Posted 05 May 2015 at 07:24

Good luck for the results...

Bri

User
Posted 05 May 2015 at 07:40

Best of luck today with the results meeting. Might be an idea to take a notebook and note down what is said about the results, thoughts moving forward and any treatment options discussed and/or offered?

dave

All we can do - is do all that we can.

So, do all you can to help yourself, then make the best of your time. :-)

I am the statistic.

User
Posted 05 May 2015 at 08:10
Wishing you all the best, remember you only have to cross the bridges as you come to them. People here are waiting to support you as much or as little as you need. Kev

Dream like you have forever, live like you only have today Avatar is me doing the 600 mile Camino de Santiago May 2019

User
Posted 05 May 2015 at 09:06

Good luck today MLJ

My husband too was one of those who left it to me to find and sort the information and right up until the night before we met the consultant he still hadn't read anything so I do understand how frustrating our men can be.

Perhaps once he's had it laid on the line for him buy the experts he'll be able to get his head around it.

Hope all goes well.

Good luck to you and your other half today too Traleesh. We did the brachytherapy (seed) route

We can't control the winds - but we can adjust our sails
User
Posted 05 May 2015 at 09:32
Hope all goes well today, good luck. Diesel.
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User
Posted 04 May 2015 at 23:21

Hi Maureen,

I just wanted to say, you are in my thoughts.  I really hope everything goes well for you and Steve tomorrow. 

Thank you for your recent PM, it was very kind of you. 

I know this is a very scary time but I know that you both will find the strength to deal with the outcome.  Steve has managed to cope with very difficult challenges and will do again.  The two of you are not going through this alone, we are with you every step of the way.

Good luck for tomorrow.

Steve x

User
Posted 05 May 2015 at 06:42
Hi Maureen

Hope all goes well today

Arthur

User
Posted 05 May 2015 at 06:52
Hi Maureen,

Thinking of you today, you're not alone and also my husband still has his head in the sand we are seeing the surgeon this evening at London Bridge Hospital to talk about Da Vinci and then the oncologist on Thursday to discuss Brachytherapy but I will be the one asking all the questions because he still hasn't read anything and just leaving it all to me.

Best wishes,

Trish x

User
Posted 05 May 2015 at 07:24

Good luck for the results...

Bri

User
Posted 05 May 2015 at 07:40

Best of luck today with the results meeting. Might be an idea to take a notebook and note down what is said about the results, thoughts moving forward and any treatment options discussed and/or offered?

dave

All we can do - is do all that we can.

So, do all you can to help yourself, then make the best of your time. :-)

I am the statistic.

User
Posted 05 May 2015 at 08:10
Wishing you all the best, remember you only have to cross the bridges as you come to them. People here are waiting to support you as much or as little as you need. Kev

Dream like you have forever, live like you only have today Avatar is me doing the 600 mile Camino de Santiago May 2019

User
Posted 05 May 2015 at 08:45
Good luck today

Arthur

User
Posted 05 May 2015 at 09:06

Good luck today MLJ

My husband too was one of those who left it to me to find and sort the information and right up until the night before we met the consultant he still hadn't read anything so I do understand how frustrating our men can be.

Perhaps once he's had it laid on the line for him buy the experts he'll be able to get his head around it.

Hope all goes well.

Good luck to you and your other half today too Traleesh. We did the brachytherapy (seed) route

We can't control the winds - but we can adjust our sails
User
Posted 05 May 2015 at 09:10
Maureen

I wish you all the very best today for your results. I think us wives and partners deal with this in the only way we can. By being there and being supportive in every way possible. Your husband probably isn't burying his head in the sand he is just reacting to the worst change imaginable to him right now. Denial is how the mind copes initially.

This is why it is so critical for you to be everything he cannot. He almost certainly will move into acceptance at some point and when he does he will turn to you to answer all the questions he wanted to ask but just couldn't at the time.

I considered myself to be Mick's wingman, I never had control of the fight but I was there to provide cover from the enemy and to support his fight however best I could.

Probably not the best analogy but it worked for me.

I will be thinking of you, Trish and your Husbands today as all of us here will be.

Very best wishes

Xx

Mo

User
Posted 05 May 2015 at 09:32
Hope all goes well today, good luck. Diesel.
 
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