new diagnosis, husband

Mrs Fish, 

You are asking the question that no on else can answer, only you and your OH.  Your husband may be a T2c, equally he may not be?  The only way to be certain is post op when the removed gland is looked at in a laboratory dish.  I do not recall anyone who had their Gleason downgraded post op, only up graded, mine included.   

Factors that you and he may wish to consider in your deliberations are:

1. His life expectancy - if his family lineage suggests that he may not live much beyond his 60s then you may both think that an op is not worth having?  If all his relatives live not much beyond mid 60s why go through an op?

2. You have said that he is fit and not overweight, BMI good.  If the PCa is caught early, and it may have been, then the sooner he does something the better, but every treatment option has POTENTIAL side effects, THE most significant of which is LIFE.

3.  Some folks will try to persuade you what to do, what treatment is best for you in their opinion, and they mean well, but, this is such a big decision to make, and in my view all anyone should say is look at every option available, consider all the potential consequences and then make your own minds up.  

Who have you spoken with about treatment options so far, maybe only a surgeon by the sound of things and from your latest post?

This is the most significant decision that you will both make so take time and do your research, and take in what others have to say, but with the rider that this is your decision alone.  One which you will both have to live with and with luck, live with for many years to come.

atb

dave

Hi

You describe a similar diagnoses to me last August and me and your husband are of similar age. The main difference (if it is confirmed that the cancer hasn't spread) is that mine is only on the rhs (3+4), nothing on the left. My PSA was 13.8 when diagnosed. I also originally visited RD&E who recommended robotic removal but after researching the subject I chose low dose brachytherapy.

If the cancer hasn't spread my advice would be to check with your consultant whether if you wait a few months for treatment is it likely to get worse in that time? If not then make sure you order the toolkit from this site and look at the various treatment options, what is involved and the possible side effects of each treatment. You can then speak to your consultant (and if he/she is a surgeon ask to speak with an oncologist) and your husband can make an informed decision regarding which treatment he would prefer.

It maybe that your husband feels that he just wants to get rid of the cancer ASAP (most men don't wait 8 months before getting treated like I did!) in which case robotic removal in 6 weeks time is probably the best choice for him.

You will get a lot of good advice on the site but you will also find that most men's experiences are different even if they had the same treatment! However there are trends in the side effects of each treatment. For info. personally I found this web-site really useful: http://www.prostatespecialist.co.uk/   - particularly the Treatment Selector.

Let me know if I can help further.

dl

Edited by member 11 Jun 2015 at 10:09  | Reason: Not specified

Good day Mrs. Fish,

Your husband's scenario is similar to my diagnosis last November. I am 11 weeks post laperascopic prostatectomy and coping well. I am due to see the surgeon tomorrow for my feedback. Please read my profile and if you have any points I can clarify please feel free to message me.

Regards,

Paul

Gosh - I am a bit shocked and depressed that he was diagnosed and the treatment was sorted all in one evening. In my experience, the people that struggle most with the after-effects of surgery are those who went into it without any understanding of what life would be like. You only have to read on here to see men who experience huge distress because they had no idea they would be left incontinent, that they would never ejaculate, that their penis would be smaller, etc etc. Maybe they were told at the hospital and forgot, undoubtedly there are those who just assume it won't apply to them.

My husband was 50 at diagnosis - the advice we got was to go away, think about it for a few months, have a nice normal summer doing the things couples do and then make a decision about treatment. My husband didn't like this advice, had the op in super-speedy time and has bitterly regretted pretty much ever since.If he had taken time, he might still have the same side effects but I don't think he would feel quite so angry and cheated.

We shouldn't automatically be shocked by or criticise a hospital or medical practice before we have all the information.  I am sure I read this somewhere?  We should not get depressed about it either.

And herein lies the real problem, where contributors are already, intentionally or not, exerting undue influence on a stranger without knowing anything like enough about their circumstances and PCa staging.  

Mrs Fish, I hope that you and Mr Fish are reading elsewhere about PCa and treatments, and aggressive and non-aggressive cancers?

As you have no other PSA readings to assist your decision making, as Brian rightly points out, you do not know if you have a non-aggresive PCA, a so called "Pussycat", or an aggressive or "Tiger" PCa.

Slow and passive, or fast and aggressive, at some point the Cancer will get to a stage where some treatment options may be off the table, and it may become too late to be dealt with.  There will be a tipping point, like a climb up a hill, when you reach the top and start to roll down the other side. Of course that point may come many years down the line, or it may not.

Did your OH have any symptoms of PCa?  Sadly when there are symptoms, it s not an early diagnosis, I am told.  How was it discovered, a routine well man check?

When you read the individual history of people here please bear in mind that most men who undergo treatment do so without airing their experiences online.  "Here" is a very tiny snapshot of men who have had PCa, and dealt with it.

Whatever anyone here says you should do, should wait awhile for, should rule out, steers you towards, only you and your OH will be dealing with the consequences of the big decision.  We men all have regrets and wish that we had not made a choice, but we are all here and alive to moan about it, thank goodness.

atb

dave 

Edited by member 11 Jun 2015 at 23:20  | Reason: Not specified

My OH is in a very similar position to your, plus eight months. He had Gleason 7 on diagnosis (9 on pathology), psa 9.2, 20% and 3% on biopsy. He opted for surgery, and did this based on one consultation.

He had his surgery on 1st dec, and the surgeon was happy he had removed if all. Nerve sparing on one side.

He has had problems with incontinence- still in two- three pads a day at present, but dry at night (and if he does nothing physical). In the last two weeks, he has started to regain some EF, and we are hopeful on this front.

My advice to you.

Get the toolkit from this site and read it.

Readthis forum back to front

Don't read anything else. I felt like I needed all the information I could find, most of which conflicted, was inaccurate, or related to other countries. My OH is one of those to whom Lyn refers- the shortening, the incontinence, the length of time were all s massive shock to him post op. But I think this is just because we didn't take it in, and we didn't visit this forum.

Best of luck

Louise

Edited by member 20 Jun 2015 at 23:49  | Reason: Not specified