Life is different afterwards isn't it, but somehow when you have your kind of success it is really special, especially 7 weeks post op.
Your message will give hope to others Johny so thank you for posting.
As for comfort when discussing orgasms, dry or otherwise, well listening (reading) is what we do best.
I am so glad that you have a supportive and understanding wife. I like to think I am another but sometimes, just sometimes you understand, life can be very frustrating when the other half doesn't listen.
I have to be very careful how I word things. John doesn't come on here, he wouldn't have a clue how to access the site, but if he knew the kind of helpful conversations which take place he would be horrified so I have to go very round about if I'm trying to make a point.
Johsan
We can't control the winds - but we can adjust our sails |
User
Chris
I am sure Johny who started this conversation won't mind us posting as it is all relevant.
You get your PSA consult next week, knowing you, you are probably testing your continence just thinking about that alone forget PMSL more like PMSW orrying !!
You are also collecting your aids to sexual recovery so use that opportunity to ask just how much you should be trying and to what extent.
Maybe we should have a revised saying for you "use it or lose it but just don't bruise it" (sounds like something puff Daddy might rap!
Seriously though my sense of humour can occasionally be a bit silly and I sometimes use adjectives that can be a little stronger than I intended,we all do but it is because we care about you. Your long term recovery is every bit as important as the here and now.
If waiting for your PSA consult is overbearing and with your BP in mind, you could ring your GP or your clinical nurse and see if they can talk to you over the phone or possibly arrange an appointment to discuss this before next wednesday.
I know the level reported is causing you a lot of anxiety.
All my best wishes
Xx
Mo
Edited in a minor way after chatting with Chris
Edited by member 06 Aug 2015 at 13:02
| Reason: Not specified
User
Hello mate
You , me , Steve ( Raiden ) and Stuart ( TraleeTrish ) all had the op within months of each other . I know Steve has reported mega orgasms already . Mine were awful post-op but now at just over 4 months are pretty good ( not as good as before the operation though . But there HAS been the occasion where something spectacular has promised to arise , then disappeared just as quickly . I know other men on the site have voiced far superior sensations . Thank Fcuk that SOMETHING good can come ( excuse the pun ) from this goddamn awful disease . I for one am happy for you mate -- you've had an awful lot on your plate .
Chris
User
Hi Johny, 'Orgasms are Us". On 15th July I posted here about my post operation intense orgasms, and am pleased to report that they are continuing, though I have just passed the 2year mark since my op. And am still not quite 100% erect probably 90/95 on a good day, with help from vitarios cream, or sometimes cialis 20 mg. I'm now erring on the side of cialis as for me , one tablet can have effect for up to 36 hours, yes, great orgasms, all engulfing. I'm seeing my E/D nurse in two weeks, might mention it to her, see what she has to say. Onwards and Upwards. Diesel.
PS. My mate Lynn may know something about the mechanics of this phenomenon, she does know everything you know. xx
User
Certainly do not know everything so I just read Johny's description to John (while he was ironing).
He agrees with your description, jelly legs included. He also sometimes has multiple orgasms which never happened before.
My theory - that once you stop focusing on the penis as the centre of the universe, it frees your mind up to experience with all your senses in the way that women do (if they are lucky) Let's face it, most men think what they feel at orgasm is the ejaculation and it takes PCa to realise that the two are separate things. Women on the other hand can fully give themselves to orgasm because they have never experienced ejaculation.
"Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards." Soren Kierkegaard
|
User
Hi Lynn Mon ami, I just knew you'd have a theory, and as usual I think it's probably right, makes sense to me, so well done you.x louise1969 I'm about a year ahead of you since my RP so things will improve, 90% sounds quite good, the last 5 to 10% for me, and according to my nurse is usually the slowest to stiffen, is where the penis joins the tummy,which oddly, makes it awkward to get'in' but not impossible, and will improve. Onwards & Upwards.
User
I experienced one multiple a few weeks ago - the most intense since my op 18 months ago. it was after a sildenafil, on my own. Unfortunately, a fair amount of urine also shot out, but thankfully was in the shower.
It is still frustrating though that an erection suitable for intercourse still evades me, and only in the shower will I get any kind of reaction naturally. The escape of urine is a complete turn off tor the OH. You men with more understanding wives are very lucky.
Paul
Stay Calm And Carry On. |
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Life is different afterwards isn't it, but somehow when you have your kind of success it is really special, especially 7 weeks post op.
Your message will give hope to others Johny so thank you for posting.
As for comfort when discussing orgasms, dry or otherwise, well listening (reading) is what we do best.
I am so glad that you have a supportive and understanding wife. I like to think I am another but sometimes, just sometimes you understand, life can be very frustrating when the other half doesn't listen.
I have to be very careful how I word things. John doesn't come on here, he wouldn't have a clue how to access the site, but if he knew the kind of helpful conversations which take place he would be horrified so I have to go very round about if I'm trying to make a point.
Johsan
We can't control the winds - but we can adjust our sails |
User
Congratulations to you and your OH. Excellent result, and only 7 weeks on.
That is a quick recovery and good achievement, and bear in mind it should hopefully improve as time goes on, you are ahead of many in the recovery stakes, behind only a few. Having a supportive and involved OH is invaluable.
atb
dave
All we can do - is do all that we can. So, do all you can to help yourself, then make the best of your time. :-) I am the statistic. |
User
I nearly made a similar post yesterday , wondering whether to ask about orgasm on here ! I have had a few orgasms and am 30 days post-op ( a very understanding loving wife ). I was blessed to be continent from the day the catheter came out. Just more dribbling and a very rare night leakage. My orgasms have not leaked wee which is a great relief , but she wasn't too scared anyway tbh.
The orgasms I've had have been very weak tbh and disappointing , but at least something and early days yet. Perhaps too early I reckon.
Best wishes and CONGRATULATIONS
Chris
User
I'm really glad you added the early days bit there Chris or you would have been in for another lecture.http://community.prostatecanceruk.org/editors/tiny_mce/plugins/emoticons/img/smiley-wink.gifhttp://community.prostatecanceruk.org/editors/tiny_mce/plugins/emoticons/img/smiley-wink.gif
Not surprising they've been weak after somebody has been tweaking the bits responsible for producing them.
Glad you have the ability back. Enjoy what you have until it improves
Edited by member 15 Jul 2015 at 15:25
| Reason: Not specified
We can't control the winds - but we can adjust our sails |
User
I wonder if there is any chance of doing damage if you, or anybody else for that matter, tugs at your bits too energetically too soon after RRP?
dave
All we can do - is do all that we can. So, do all you can to help yourself, then make the best of your time. :-) I am the statistic. |
User
Who said anything about tugging ;-))
But yes you are right . Your urethra has been completely cut , the prostate removed ( containing approx. 1" of urethra ) and then the whole thing stitched back together . So yes a large pull or vacuum device etc could tear those stitches too soon after surgery . However a vibrator , tongue or finger with lube -- that's the way to go ( or all 3 at once if youre lucky )
Chris
User
Originally Posted by: Online Community MemberWho said anything about tugging ;-))
But yes you are right . Your urethra has been completely cut , the prostate removed ( containing approx. 1" of urethra ) and then the whole thing stitched back together . So yes a large pull or vacuum device etc could tear those stitches too soon after surgery . However a vibrator , tongue or finger with lube -- that's the way to go ( or all 3 at once if youre lucky )
Chris
Or if you are uber lucky...................
wait for it.....................................
wait a bit more.................................
3 tongues!
dave ;-)
our local butcher has Ox tongue on special offer.
Edited by member 15 Jul 2015 at 18:01
| Reason: Not specified
All we can do - is do all that we can. So, do all you can to help yourself, then make the best of your time. :-) I am the statistic. |
User
Not long after my operation almost 2 years ago, I read a post on here from TopGun,unfortunately no longer with us,he said re. Orgasm after RRP 'some men claim to have even better orgasms' well, turns out for me at least, he was right. Whereas I always thought mine were pretty good, now they are much more intense and longer lasting,so much so that I have to tell her to stop, or just stop,I can only suppose it is a bit like women speak of, when they shriek with pleasure, do they really...? Mine seem to almost engulf me down to my toes, I'm not complaining, far from it, just hoping it continues. I was sceptical of TG's post at the time but not now.This is a strange subject I know, for men to talk about,but I would be interested to hear what others have to say. Best Wishes Diesel.
User
Wow
you guys are doing great ...nobody gets prissy about what gets posted on here as long as it is for genuine help, learning or clarification we do get the occasional oddball who trolls but thankfully they are rare.
So do not hold back
xx
Mo
User
I find the different reactions and changes interesting rather than erotic or titillating Diesel, but then that could just be my age! http://community.prostatecanceruk.org/editors/tiny_mce/plugins/emoticons/img/smiley-wink.gif
Edited by member 16 Jul 2015 at 08:10
| Reason: Not specified
We can't control the winds - but we can adjust our sails |
User
I wish for any http://community.prostatecanceruk.org/editors/tiny_mce/plugins/emoticons/img/smiley-frown.gif
nidge
run long and prosper
'pooh how do you spell love' 'piglet you dont spell love -you just feel it' |
User
Hi,
Discussing erections and orgasms makes me feel very envious.
Steve
User
Some men find dry erections very painful. John says sometimes his are a bit weak but other times they are blow-your-mind and he does now have multiple orgasms which never happened before, even when we were very young.
"Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards." Soren Kierkegaard
|
User
Im now having mild orgasms nothing like as good as before . They don't hurt and there is no squeezing and we are not being vigorous , but maybe 15 minutes later I get AWFUL pain which grows and grows throughout the day deep in y perineum. Hurts too much to sit . And also sets off incontinence for hours whereby I am dry only 2 months post LRP
User
Chris
it is still very early days post op for you. If you are getting pain it is probably because things have stil not fully healed. The muscles that contract vigorously when you orgasmm still put a huge strain on the site of your surgery.
Things should get better and the pain should eventually stop, although as Lyn says some men just find dry orgasms painful in any circumstance.
As far as the incontinence post orgasm, or even post sex without orgasm, goes, that is also common at this stage in your recovery. In fact doing all sorts of non sexual activity can cause it too, running, jogging, getting in our out of a car. lifting stuff etc. In due course if you are continent most of the time this will become just an occasional spurt or a dribble and if things go 100% to plan that will either stop or you will be able to anticipate it and take proactive or preventative measures.
Many men posting here about these issues are as much as two years+ post surgery and still improving so take heart.
all the best
xx
Mo
User
Chris,
I do not know for sure, I was not there, but I suspect that your urethra was cut away from your bladder to remove the prostate gland in one piece, together with the piece of urethra that its was surrounding, rather than take slices out and risk bits of prostate remaining in your body to fester and maybe one day come back to haunt you?
The urethra would than have been reattached, with stitches. The flesh will need time to heal and reattach itself, one part of your urethra to the other part of your bladder. Depending on how and where the top of your prostate was located will dictate where the cut at the entrance to your bladder was made, and that in turn may affect the recovery time of the wound and the impact on the muscle at the urethra that either stops you peeing yourself, or does not. In addition there may have been a need to put darts into your bladder, if the incisions made were wide or large or high?
You are 2 months post op Chris. You have always been the most "impatient patient" here, which I can empathise with. But, think about what your bits have been through and maybe please for the sake of your longer term recovery cut them some slack and time to heal. If your finger had been removed from your hand would you be yanking and tugging at it so soon?
I am no expert but it makes sense to me as a layperson that if you do not allow a wound to heal properly, if you continually aggravate it and stretch it, that it will not do you good in the longer term.
Have you asked your GP about how much abuse you can give to that zone? Do you know exactly what was done to your urethra and your bladder?
Listen, you are doing so well, and with all your other issues that you have been so en and honest about, actually you are doing amazingly well. But maybe take it a bit easier just for a bit longer?
atb
dave
All we can do - is do all that we can. So, do all you can to help yourself, then make the best of your time. :-) I am the statistic. |
User
Thanks Mo and dave very much . Yes I get the message. And I like it that you tell it straight Dave , but there hasn't been a bit of yanking and pulling , and im getting a pump Viagra Cialis Levitra next week , so I gather the experts ( not that you aren't ) think its ok to try . Personally ive been put right off at the moment and agree with the whole healing thing . I cant get to Wednesday fast enough to find out about the PSA . Yes Dave I am that " impatient patient " you are talking about . But anyway im so grateful that you take the time to reply
Chris
User
Hi Chris,
You are too kind. I am no expert in anything. I am just a wonderful sensitive compassionate human being trying to help a fellow wonderful sensitive compassionate human being, a comrade in arms, a wandering kindred soul if you will in a field full of poop, "get there" safest. :-)
atb
dave
All we can do - is do all that we can. So, do all you can to help yourself, then make the best of your time. :-) I am the statistic. |
User
Chris
I am sure Johny who started this conversation won't mind us posting as it is all relevant.
You get your PSA consult next week, knowing you, you are probably testing your continence just thinking about that alone forget PMSL more like PMSW orrying !!
You are also collecting your aids to sexual recovery so use that opportunity to ask just how much you should be trying and to what extent.
Maybe we should have a revised saying for you "use it or lose it but just don't bruise it" (sounds like something puff Daddy might rap!
Seriously though my sense of humour can occasionally be a bit silly and I sometimes use adjectives that can be a little stronger than I intended,we all do but it is because we care about you. Your long term recovery is every bit as important as the here and now.
If waiting for your PSA consult is overbearing and with your BP in mind, you could ring your GP or your clinical nurse and see if they can talk to you over the phone or possibly arrange an appointment to discuss this before next wednesday.
I know the level reported is causing you a lot of anxiety.
All my best wishes
Xx
Mo
Edited in a minor way after chatting with Chris
Edited by member 06 Aug 2015 at 13:02
| Reason: Not specified
User
Hi all ,
just a quick up date on my Orgasm situation.
No sure how to relate this but my surgeon appears to have re-piped me to orgasm like a woman, i kid you not.
Pre op - at the point of no return the feelings were mainly focused around my testicles and that lovely intense feeling,
post op - well considering i have little more than a limp chip at the moment, boy does it pack a punch. Intense is not the word, an all over out of body experience, with my legs left in a quiver. Anyone else experienced a change like this?
The wife has found it most amusing, where as i am left with a strange urge after to get up and do some hoovering.
Any feedback on this one?
Johny
User
Hello mate
You , me , Steve ( Raiden ) and Stuart ( TraleeTrish ) all had the op within months of each other . I know Steve has reported mega orgasms already . Mine were awful post-op but now at just over 4 months are pretty good ( not as good as before the operation though . But there HAS been the occasion where something spectacular has promised to arise , then disappeared just as quickly . I know other men on the site have voiced far superior sensations . Thank Fcuk that SOMETHING good can come ( excuse the pun ) from this goddamn awful disease . I for one am happy for you mate -- you've had an awful lot on your plate .
Chris
User
Hi Johny, 'Orgasms are Us". On 15th July I posted here about my post operation intense orgasms, and am pleased to report that they are continuing, though I have just passed the 2year mark since my op. And am still not quite 100% erect probably 90/95 on a good day, with help from vitarios cream, or sometimes cialis 20 mg. I'm now erring on the side of cialis as for me , one tablet can have effect for up to 36 hours, yes, great orgasms, all engulfing. I'm seeing my E/D nurse in two weeks, might mention it to her, see what she has to say. Onwards and Upwards. Diesel.
PS. My mate Lynn may know something about the mechanics of this phenomenon, she does know everything you know. xx
User
Certainly do not know everything so I just read Johny's description to John (while he was ironing).
He agrees with your description, jelly legs included. He also sometimes has multiple orgasms which never happened before.
My theory - that once you stop focusing on the penis as the centre of the universe, it frees your mind up to experience with all your senses in the way that women do (if they are lucky) Let's face it, most men think what they feel at orgasm is the ejaculation and it takes PCa to realise that the two are separate things. Women on the other hand can fully give themselves to orgasm because they have never experienced ejaculation.
"Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards." Soren Kierkegaard
|
User
After four nights away, and four joint orgasms, I concur that they seem to get stronger. And also the woman-like style of them- once I'm there, I don't need you to keep going at it. I've found that the OH now has very sensitive bits once he's reached orgasm.
90-95% is great Diesel. I hope for this. After our few days away, we managed about 50-60%. Not enough for penetration, but better than anything in recent months, hopefully the psychological block has been removed...
User
Hi,
Reading this thread makes me feel quite frustrated that not much is happening for me. I'm afraid the HT causing lack of libido, is winning.
Steve
User
Hi Lynn Mon ami, I just knew you'd have a theory, and as usual I think it's probably right, makes sense to me, so well done you.x louise1969 I'm about a year ahead of you since my RP so things will improve, 90% sounds quite good, the last 5 to 10% for me, and according to my nurse is usually the slowest to stiffen, is where the penis joins the tummy,which oddly, makes it awkward to get'in' but not impossible, and will improve. Onwards & Upwards.
User
OMG! If your penis sticks out of your tummy they did more than just remove your prostate in that op - they must have done a complete re-modelling job!
You are quite right of course; an erection starts with the engorgement of the cells between the pubic bone and the penis and it is this area that, for John, is still not at pre-op state. It is the same area that a vacuum pump can do nothing for, which is why directing the right bit into the right place is difficult and needs practice. It also affects length.
Fortunately, as long as the penis is erect then the padded bit towards the pubic bone is only important for directing - it can't do any harm. The hazard men need to be aware of is attempting penetration with a semi, which can cause Peyronie's
"Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards." Soren Kierkegaard
|
User
Originally Posted by: Online Community MemberOMG! If your penis sticks out of your tummy they did more than just remove your prostate in that op - they must have done a complete re-modelling job!
Right Again young Lynn, lol. Time was I could hang a bath towel on it, those days, unfortunately long gone, couldn't manage a flannel now, but hey ho, things can only get better. Diesel xx
Edited by member 27 Oct 2015 at 12:23
| Reason: Not specified
User
I experienced one multiple a few weeks ago - the most intense since my op 18 months ago. it was after a sildenafil, on my own. Unfortunately, a fair amount of urine also shot out, but thankfully was in the shower.
It is still frustrating though that an erection suitable for intercourse still evades me, and only in the shower will I get any kind of reaction naturally. The escape of urine is a complete turn off tor the OH. You men with more understanding wives are very lucky.
Paul
Stay Calm And Carry On. |