Hi,
Have had a roller coaster of last 3 years supporting my elderly parents, both in their 80s but living very independently, my dad having been diagnosed with advanced prostate cancer with spread to bones. From knowing nothing about cancer to knowing the ins and outs of the impact on the patient and their close family of having a diagnosis and a life sentence having over your loved ones head, I feel like I have been through it all. When he was first diagnosed I fiercely googled for info and scared myself shitless by reading all the stories. Everything seemed so doom and gloom. My dad was Gleason 9/10, PSA in the 200 range, terrible bone cancer pain from the mets, and could hardly eat. I'm an only child (daughter) and although I'm 45 and live an hours drive away from them, am exceptionally close to them. Even though my dad is in his 80s, he was not your typical 80s, he ran his own business and only retired at 80 when just shortly before his diagnosis. He got hormone therapy and amazing he beat all the odds and has been living with it for past 3 years. It's been a roller coaster of a 3 years. We've had good periods and dark periods but a lot of laughs along the way. As a family we've learned to live with cancer, the 4th very present member of our family along with my mum, dad & I.
So why am I here now saying hello? Well, the 3-5 yrs the hormone therapy can give you on average seems to be running out. His PSA is rising, pain from bones terrible and has had an impending spinal cord compression on his spine. He got radiotherapy in Jan this year which helped pain mngt. A full body bone scan has shown extensive spread of the mets all through his bones. He is getting half body radiotherapy next week to try to help the pain. Once they treat his bottom half, after 6 weeks they will treat top half. He's gone so badly downhill over past 3 weeks, both mum and I are really worried. Is this the start of the end? Do we start to face up to the realities of his active life now ends and he can't walk/ends up bedridden/ in hospice ? He bless him has battled with depression over the impact of having terminal cancer hanging over him. He might be in his 80s but he wants to live forever! He doesn't know things are quite bleak.
So yes, here I am, saying hello, hoping to find some friendly virtual faces, to share the next few months with as we go into the next & probably final chapter. For anyone newly diagnosed at the elderly stage, I'm happy to share some of the positive stories, it's not all doom & gloom, even if things seem stacked but not in your favour. If anyone has been through half body radiotherapy I would be very interested in your experiences of this. If anyone has been through this and can help offer some advice of how best to support my poor exhausted mum through the next few months, I would very much appreciate it.
Fabbi