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Help for me and my dad

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User
Posted 24 Sep 2015 at 20:44

Hello

I am sorry that you are all here but from some of the posts I have been reading the last couple of days I find you all truly inspirational.

My dad has just been diagnosed with prostate cancer and unfortunately for all of us they have caught it at a stage where it has already metasized. His figures are TN3b N1 M1, his gleason score is 9 and PSA 25 so pretty grim reading.

Firstly I wonder if you could provide me with any hope that, whilst I know it cannot be cured there is a chance he can live a healthy life for a while to come yet? He is the best dad a girl could wish for and one that only most others could aspire to be like, he is my idol.  He is currently very fit and active and has just got back from a 4 day golf holiday, from looking at and speaking to him you would not think that anything was wrong.

Secondly I am trying to be as positive and upbeat as I can for him and was going to put a 'survival package' together for him

I have so far thought of the following

 

A book of foods to fight cancer

A nutribullet

Some fresh fruit and veg

Some dairy free milk and butter

Some walnuts

Do you think this is something that you would have appreciated and are these ok things to put in it or any other suggestions

 

I want him to know that we are with him all the way

Thank you for reading and any responses

 

xxxx

User
Posted 24 Sep 2015 at 22:21
Someday

how truly lovely you are, we often have daughters on here worried about their Dad and wanting to support them the very best they can. My daughter was an absolute rock when her Dad was on his journey and it meant so much to me i can hardly put that into words.

First of all your Dad has a couple of major things on his side, you are number one and his staging is number 2 a T3b with known spread to lymph and bones and a gleason 9 with PSA at 25 is far from the worst case scenario. The medical team will be looking at what treatment will give your Dad the best chance of a long term survival. Surgery is probbly not an option but Radio therapy and Hormone treatments are likely to be suggested. Chemotherapy may also be discussed, this is not a bad thing at all, recent trials have shown that in relatively young and fit men with staging like your Dad throwing everything at the cancer can have really good results.

As for diet, well this is a major discussion point There are men who swear by the low dairy no red meat etc etc. Then there are those that say to heck with it, I eat what I like and what I enjoy.

It is a personal choice and you will do no harm in encouraging your Dad to consider the options.

I wish you all the very best

xx

Mo

User
Posted 24 Sep 2015 at 22:38

Hi Someday,

I see that Mo has already replied for you so I would just like to add please don't despair there are so many treatments out there that can and do give many years of life, if you click on people names and avatars it will chart there journeys . I am just thinking George H in particular who has just celebrated 10 years .

We have just passed our 2/half year journey as Mo has said there are a few Daughters on here and they post all of the time. We all need a shoulder to lean on sometimes. If you need that shoulder we are here.

BFN

Julie x

NEVER LAUGH AT A LIVE DRAGON
User
Posted 25 Sep 2015 at 20:04
hI someday

As it happens my own husband had nearly identical results to your dad at age 61, though a Gleason score of 10. I doubt he'd be offered RT with spread as its pretty rare for that to be on offer as it simply causes symptoms and cannot stop the progress of the disease as it has already metastised. However, it's nearly five years since my husband was diagnosed and he still hasn't needed chemo or any other of the new drugs. We have enjoyed this time much more than it would have been thought possible, it certainly stops you moaning about trivial things.

We have seen both of our daughters married and a granddaughter arrived last year, on my birthday. Life is good for us and I sincerely hope that the same applies to your dad.

With lots of love

Allison

User
Posted 25 Sep 2015 at 21:46
Thank you all so much for your kind words. The nurse came to see my dad today and seemed quite positive so that was nice. They have given him information on the stampede trial and he will take his first hormone tablet tomorrow, for 2 weeks before the injection.

He sees the oncologist beginning of October and I have to say I feel a bit of relief that they are actually starting to do something

Alison thank you so much for your positive story, that really does give encouragement and I hope your husband continues like that for many many years to come

Sarah x

User
Posted 26 Sep 2015 at 10:04

Hello Sarah, welcome from me too.

You've been given lots of advice already so I won't repeat it, just the bit about not despairing as it's too early for that.

Your dad will have ups and downs on his journey. There may be days when he'll wonder whether it's all worth it.

All you can do is your best. Be there for him like you are now.

If he is unlikely to join this site for himself, then encourage him to communicate his feelings and requests for information through you.

Some of the info he might want may be of the personal sort and he might not like discussing that side of things with you so if that happens try and get him to come on here himself to get answers.

It could be that by that time you will have worked out which members have the most knowledge of your situation due to their own treatment and if you click on the name under a member's avatar it should bring up their profile.

You/he could perhaps do a personal message to the member

I think it's possible to read those even if you are not a member ?

There are also the nurses on here who can answer queries,whether yours or his.

You are already being a wonderfully caring and supportive daughter and he must be very proud of you

Good luck and best wishes

Sandra

Edited by member 26 Sep 2015 at 12:04  | Reason: Not specified

We can't control the winds - but we can adjust our sails
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User
Posted 24 Sep 2015 at 22:21
Someday

how truly lovely you are, we often have daughters on here worried about their Dad and wanting to support them the very best they can. My daughter was an absolute rock when her Dad was on his journey and it meant so much to me i can hardly put that into words.

First of all your Dad has a couple of major things on his side, you are number one and his staging is number 2 a T3b with known spread to lymph and bones and a gleason 9 with PSA at 25 is far from the worst case scenario. The medical team will be looking at what treatment will give your Dad the best chance of a long term survival. Surgery is probbly not an option but Radio therapy and Hormone treatments are likely to be suggested. Chemotherapy may also be discussed, this is not a bad thing at all, recent trials have shown that in relatively young and fit men with staging like your Dad throwing everything at the cancer can have really good results.

As for diet, well this is a major discussion point There are men who swear by the low dairy no red meat etc etc. Then there are those that say to heck with it, I eat what I like and what I enjoy.

It is a personal choice and you will do no harm in encouraging your Dad to consider the options.

I wish you all the very best

xx

Mo

User
Posted 24 Sep 2015 at 22:38

Hi Someday,

I see that Mo has already replied for you so I would just like to add please don't despair there are so many treatments out there that can and do give many years of life, if you click on people names and avatars it will chart there journeys . I am just thinking George H in particular who has just celebrated 10 years .

We have just passed our 2/half year journey as Mo has said there are a few Daughters on here and they post all of the time. We all need a shoulder to lean on sometimes. If you need that shoulder we are here.

BFN

Julie x

NEVER LAUGH AT A LIVE DRAGON
User
Posted 25 Sep 2015 at 20:04
hI someday

As it happens my own husband had nearly identical results to your dad at age 61, though a Gleason score of 10. I doubt he'd be offered RT with spread as its pretty rare for that to be on offer as it simply causes symptoms and cannot stop the progress of the disease as it has already metastised. However, it's nearly five years since my husband was diagnosed and he still hasn't needed chemo or any other of the new drugs. We have enjoyed this time much more than it would have been thought possible, it certainly stops you moaning about trivial things.

We have seen both of our daughters married and a granddaughter arrived last year, on my birthday. Life is good for us and I sincerely hope that the same applies to your dad.

With lots of love

Allison

User
Posted 25 Sep 2015 at 21:46
Thank you all so much for your kind words. The nurse came to see my dad today and seemed quite positive so that was nice. They have given him information on the stampede trial and he will take his first hormone tablet tomorrow, for 2 weeks before the injection.

He sees the oncologist beginning of October and I have to say I feel a bit of relief that they are actually starting to do something

Alison thank you so much for your positive story, that really does give encouragement and I hope your husband continues like that for many many years to come

Sarah x

User
Posted 26 Sep 2015 at 10:04

Hello Sarah, welcome from me too.

You've been given lots of advice already so I won't repeat it, just the bit about not despairing as it's too early for that.

Your dad will have ups and downs on his journey. There may be days when he'll wonder whether it's all worth it.

All you can do is your best. Be there for him like you are now.

If he is unlikely to join this site for himself, then encourage him to communicate his feelings and requests for information through you.

Some of the info he might want may be of the personal sort and he might not like discussing that side of things with you so if that happens try and get him to come on here himself to get answers.

It could be that by that time you will have worked out which members have the most knowledge of your situation due to their own treatment and if you click on the name under a member's avatar it should bring up their profile.

You/he could perhaps do a personal message to the member

I think it's possible to read those even if you are not a member ?

There are also the nurses on here who can answer queries,whether yours or his.

You are already being a wonderfully caring and supportive daughter and he must be very proud of you

Good luck and best wishes

Sandra

Edited by member 26 Sep 2015 at 12:04  | Reason: Not specified

We can't control the winds - but we can adjust our sails
User
Posted 01 Oct 2015 at 22:51
Hi Sarah,

My dad was diagnosed with local spread in 2001. It hadn't gone to his bones. Psa 38.

Fourteen and a half years on he is still well, it hasn't reached his bones, and he is still taking the HT. He's 75, and is currently building a new agricultural shed in his field. On his own....

One word of caution - try not to read too much on Google. Just don't do it!

Louise x

 
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