what have you done

what have you done

User

Posted 18 Oct 2015 at 10:03

Just curious.Think alot of people put off doing things "oh I will do that when I retire" Or I will do it next year etc

What have people done differently since being diagnosed.Doesnt have to be major

Mine -now this is before I was even aware of any PC trouble.At work myself and a man called Chris for last couple years always talked about what we wanted to do when we retire.Chris planned selling up and moving to Turkey or somewhere similar small apartment and have good few years in sun

Long story short Chris discovered lumps in his testes diagnosed had left it too long died within 8 week.A lovely man 58 years old

This prompted me to stop putting everything away to retire early.Love caravvaning so after discussing with wife we bought a new one.

So what I am trying to say we never know what is around the corner

Since having biopsy -just a small thing but always fancied having a go at sketching.Cannot draw for toffee :-) no one else going to see it

Thought what the hell so have ordered sketch book drawing pen and shaders-why have I put this off before -not a clue

So what have other people done :-)

Garry

User

Posted 18 Oct 2015 at 10:03

Just curious.Think alot of people put off doing things "oh I will do that when I retire" Or I will do it next year etc

What have people done differently since being diagnosed.Doesnt have to be major

Long story short Chris discovered lumps in his testes diagnosed had left it too long died within 8 week.A lovely man 58 years old

This prompted me to stop putting everything away to retire early.Love caravvaning so after discussing with wife we bought a new one.

So what I am trying to say we never know what is around the corner

Since having biopsy -just a small thing but always fancied having a go at sketching.Cannot draw for toffee :-) no one else going to see it

Thought what the hell so have ordered sketch book drawing pen and shaders-why have I put this off before -not a clue

So what have other people done :-)

Garry

User

Posted 18 Oct 2015 at 19:26

I have always been a big believer in fate and destiny. I think you are responsible for your destiny but your fate is normally controlled by things outside of your own power.

Mick and I were very lucky to have been in a finacial position that we could both retire early, he was 56 and I was only 48.

We travelled extensively for 8 years and had many adventures along the way.

I am so thankful that we did all that we did, we could not possibly have known he would have PCa or that it would be so far advanced when he was diagnosed. We never managed to travel in his 12 month fight against this horrid disease but we frequently watched all the holiday videos and had a photo frame constantly playing pictures of all our favourite people and places. I am sure that the final cruise we had planned together but never managed to do was what kept him going through some really hard times in that year.

It was our destiny to travel together and sadly it was our fate that he should fall victim to PCa.

Now I am shaping a new destiny for my life it has taken me a while to really get going but I am well on the way now and life is good.

User

Posted 19 Oct 2015 at 08:56

Yorkhull I had just read top guns story when I saw your post - had tears of laughter at some of the things he wrote-a true inspiration.And now you just taking stock and seeing what is important to you
Ray - nowt wrong with skeggie :-)
Teddy another dog :-)
Crescent singing:-)
Edamo getting on with life and enjoying it after all this is what life is for.
Man with PC could you contact a sailing club and go out with other people?
Old 1 get the drawing started -glad I made you think
Johsan getting away whenever you can with many more adventures to come
Puff I also worked long hours so like you time to ease back a bit if I can
Nidge - does the tolerance extend to Leeds and Wednesday fans lol

Think one of the problems we all suffer is when young we think we are immortal and in our heads we stay the same
A question I once asked my dad and I have never forgot - I was young my dad was 40 and I asked him Dad what's it like being 40(so old) he pointed at his head and said in here I am still 18
He is 85 and still lives a full life
Lesson for us all
Garry

User

Posted 20 Oct 2015 at 16:56

It is a profound and interesting topic that you raise Garry.

I was diagnosed in 2007 at the age of 49 and was left devastated by the news. I went through the " why me" routine and was mired in self pity which is self destructive.

The help of my friends and family and the countless good, kind and compassionate people on this site helped me through this initial difficult period.

Compared to many - 8 years on , I know that I have been incredibly fortunate thus far. I continued teaching full time with the exception of the Spring Term 2008 when I had my course of radiotherapy - the collegiate nature of teaching and the relentlessness of the job helped me but now I have opted for early retirement at Christmas and look forward to doing " my own thing" - Natural History, Ornithology, Watching Football, Rugby and Cricket, Travel to France and my pathetic attempts to learn the language.

What I have learned over these 8 years is to take nothing for granted, to try to find pleasure in every single day, the best things in life are free is a cliche with absolute truth in my view and I have developed a fundamental respect for so many people on this site , who in spite of their own difficulties , seize the moment, lead intense and fulfilling lives and are always willing to give help and counsel to others.

I wish you all best wishes Garry on your " journey " with this disease that all of us here are living with.

Kind Regards

Pete

User

Posted 18 Oct 2015 at 11:11

Hi Garry

You are so right, I am still putting things off.......until I get my next PSA results !!

I know its wrong, but am slowly coming round to seeing sense, i.e. do it now.

Funnily enough i always used to be interested in drawing, you have encouraged me to start again, thanks for that.

Best of luck with your sketches, you never know you might have a hidden talent lurking !!

Thanks again

User

Posted 18 Oct 2015 at 11:31

John's always been a traveller (overland to Australia with many stops on the way when he was in his late 20s) with wanderlust.

Now his attitude is that he wants to get as much out of our trailer tent and a decent holiday abroad every year.

I seem to be forever packing and unpacking lately.

Came back yesterday from two week in the sun and he's already saying where shall we go next month !

We can't control the winds - but we can adjust our sails

User

Posted 18 Oct 2015 at 12:20

Originally Posted by: Online Community Member

John's always been a traveller (overland to Australia with many stops on the way when he was in his late 20s) with wanderlust.

Now his attitude is that he wants to get as much out of our trailer tent and a decent holiday abroad every year.

I seem to be forever packing and unpacking lately.

Came back yesterday from two week in the sun and he's already saying where shall we go next month !

Thats the attitude !!!!!

User

Posted 18 Oct 2015 at 17:26

1) Wanted to try living by the sea so moved to Skeg. Does that count as living by the sea :-) . Anyways after not so long there hospital took the view PCa could be coming back quick ( didnt happen but I'm not complaining) so returned to Midlands so my OH would be near family.

2) always too busy to cook but wanted to be able to cook a Sunday dinner - done and eaten.

3) Question
Folks often say don't let cancer control you which is great. The question: if you do something which you would not have done or put off and even though it's regarded as positive is cancer controlling you?

Ray

Edited by member 18 Oct 2015 at 17:28 | Reason: Not specified

User

Posted 18 Oct 2015 at 18:00

I am fascinated by this question. My approach to the knowledge that PCa had thrown a defining timeline over my future I spent a lot of time understanding what that meant. I got in touch with the negative side of that knowledge and eventually linked it to the wider issue that dying and death is part of the process of living. This was so important and for me much more important than a bucket list or a need to do anything in particular.

The outcome of this thinking is that my life, my day to day living, became more precious, became valued and appreciated in all its minutiae. I stayed at work because work has been a central part of my life but time with family and friends became more vital and started a rich heritage of memories for them and for me. I have now decided to retire but that is driven by the consequences of the treatment and I just need to conserve energy a bit more. But my philosophy has not changed, I still value every day and focus on living and will let death take care of itself. I still don't have a bucket list, there are people and places I would like to revisit but it's as much about spending time with people and at places I love. Topgun said many times that 'life is for living' and it is that mantra which drives me whatever I am involved in each day. Nearly four years on, my timeline has stretched way beyond initial assessments and so I will carry on and why not!

User

Posted 20 Oct 2015 at 23:12

Like many others, I am supposing, this journey has brought our tiny family (me, Steve and our 17 year old daughter) much closer together. We now make an effort to have a "family Friday" once or twice a month; a meal / cinema / shopping trip etc. we also try to sit down together each evening for dinner and to hear about each other's day - this doesn't always happen but we do try!

Doing this has also driven home the fact that our "baby" will be off to university in September 2016 so we're making the most of the next year together, I'm sure it will be gone in a flash!

As they say "it's the small things", our stress levels are probably actually lower than they were this time last year as now getting hysterical about whose turn it is to empty the kitchen bin seems ridiculous 😱

We're still laughing! 😂😂😂

Maureen

"You're braver than you believe, stronger than you seem and smarter than you think." A A Milne

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User

Posted 18 Oct 2015 at 11:11

Hi Garry

You are so right, I am still putting things off.......until I get my next PSA results !!

I know its wrong, but am slowly coming round to seeing sense, i.e. do it now.

Funnily enough i always used to be interested in drawing, you have encouraged me to start again, thanks for that.

Best of luck with your sketches, you never know you might have a hidden talent lurking !!

Thanks again

User

Posted 18 Oct 2015 at 11:31

John's always been a traveller (overland to Australia with many stops on the way when he was in his late 20s) with wanderlust.

Now his attitude is that he wants to get as much out of our trailer tent and a decent holiday abroad every year.

I seem to be forever packing and unpacking lately.

Came back yesterday from two week in the sun and he's already saying where shall we go next month !

We can't control the winds - but we can adjust our sails

User

Posted 18 Oct 2015 at 12:20

Originally Posted by: Online Community Member

John's always been a traveller (overland to Australia with many stops on the way when he was in his late 20s) with wanderlust.

Now his attitude is that he wants to get as much out of our trailer tent and a decent holiday abroad every year.

I seem to be forever packing and unpacking lately.

Came back yesterday from two week in the sun and he's already saying where shall we go next month !

Thats the attitude !!!!!

User

Posted 18 Oct 2015 at 17:26

Ray

Edited by member 18 Oct 2015 at 17:28 | Reason: Not specified

User

Posted 18 Oct 2015 at 18:00

User

Posted 18 Oct 2015 at 18:38

I'm with you Yorkhull, I believe in just savouring the moments each day and seeing good in small events it allows me to have fulfilling days daily..

I have never had a bucket list in my life and never really wanted to aspire to great things or deeds but seem to have extracted positive things from my total life. The only thing I have done to date since being diagnosed with PCa is to stop working weekends and trying to take a bit of chill time during the week and I think the main reason for this is that for the whole of my working life(now 66) I have always worked hard and long hours and feel that I deserve a bit of free time. I am not even sure if having cancer has influenced me but I know that there have been many people around me that have had cancer and died from cancer and I miss their input in my life. It makes me feel mortal and that life does come to an end but, although I am not adventurous, I want to take positive memories daily.

There are still tons of "jobs" that need doing around my home and would like to get on with them but the are not on a wish list, but "wish" I had the time and money to get them done, patience is a virtue and it is just as well as they will get done one day lol.

Cheers Chris/Woody

Life seems different upside down,take another viewpoint

User

Posted 18 Oct 2015 at 18:42

Hi Garry since pc came to visit me I have just gone forward with all i fancy new dog to show , gone to Ireland with the wolfhounds on the show circuit been with them to Scotland three times this year , out ever weekend with friends maybe another dog coming fingers crossed all with the support of Angela , before would have taken time to decide but not any more so having pc has made me wake up and smell the roses and probably done more this year than in the past five. .Andy

User

Posted 18 Oct 2015 at 19:26

I have always been a big believer in fate and destiny. I think you are responsible for your destiny but your fate is normally controlled by things outside of your own power.

Mick and I were very lucky to have been in a finacial position that we could both retire early, he was 56 and I was only 48.

We travelled extensively for 8 years and had many adventures along the way.

It was our destiny to travel together and sadly it was our fate that he should fall victim to PCa.

Now I am shaping a new destiny for my life it has taken me a while to really get going but I am well on the way now and life is good.

User

Posted 18 Oct 2015 at 19:55

Our annual travel insurance is due for renewal tomorrow.

In a way, it is an incentive as there now is the urge to get my money's worth out of it - hardly logical to spend more money on travel in order to justify the (expensive) cost of insurance but that's the way it is.

My wife tends to be in the 'wait and see the next results' camp but there is a danger that you leave it too late to plan things.

The downside over the last twelve months has been the fact when I expected diagnostics and appointments to be long over by the time holiday came round but due to the delays and postponements that I never envisaged, caused clashes. Last month I had a postponed scan, something that I would have expected to be long out of the way, actually en-route to the airport.

I've got to read all the books that I have stockpiled - if I can drag myself away from the computer!

I'd like to take up singing if I can find a teacher willing to cope with my complete lack of musical ability.

Apart from that, it's a matter of taking things as they come.

Dave

Not "Why Me?" but "Why Not Me"?

User

Posted 18 Oct 2015 at 20:33

I can understand that for many, PCa (or any other life threatening/changing illness) tends to focus the mind on doing some of the things we were intending to do 'one day'. The one thing I wanted to do outside of what I was already doing or had done prior to diagnosis, was to buy a sailing boat and take part in the activities of a sailing club. The opportunity arose nearly four years ago when we moved to Devon where my daughter had her recently purchased boat moored reasonably near. I helped repair the hull with fiberglass and in repainting it and with sundry other jobs. It really did take far more time to fettle than I had expected, so although I met some very nice people in the boatyard, I was not prepared to take it on when she decided to sell. Another factor was that I felt insecure when climbing the small ladder to board and the need to collect the dinghy's engine from the secure area and mount it to the dinghy in order to reach the sailing boat every time it was used. Age and other factors had also played a part in my coming to this decision. So I had left it for too long!

Otherwise, I continue to do pretty well the same things that I always have done, albeit more slowly and in some cases not as well.

Barry

User

Posted 19 Oct 2015 at 05:37

I made the decision to just carry on as normal, but to be more tolerant and forgiving of people

nidge

run long and prosper

'pooh how do you spell love'

'piglet you dont spell love -you just feel it'

User

Posted 19 Oct 2015 at 08:56

User

Posted 19 Oct 2015 at 13:51

Can't say that I've done anything differently since I was diagnosed at 63

I was fortunate enough to be able to retire at 58.

Although I have travelled a bit in the past, I'm quite content to enjoy the simple things in life like walking the dogs, enjoying the countryside, relaxing in the caravan, and having a few beers with me mates etc....

I appreciate that we are all different, but I'm pretty easy in my own skin and have no yearning to jet around the world.

A contented and chilled Luther http://community.prostatecanceruk.org/editors/tiny_mce/plugins/emoticons/img/smiley-smile.gif

User

Posted 20 Oct 2015 at 16:56

It is a profound and interesting topic that you raise Garry.

I was diagnosed in 2007 at the age of 49 and was left devastated by the news. I went through the " why me" routine and was mired in self pity which is self destructive.

The help of my friends and family and the countless good, kind and compassionate people on this site helped me through this initial difficult period.

I wish you all best wishes Garry on your " journey " with this disease that all of us here are living with.

Kind Regards

Pete

User

Posted 20 Oct 2015 at 20:56

Luther exchange going out with mates to a meal with wife and that just about perfectly sums my life up.
Peter understand exactly how you felt .Think that must be most peoples reaction.Know it was definitely mine.Again like you cannot believe the admiration for the people on here.The support the way they deal with adversity.
A man on here who I never had the pleasure to know summed it up perfectly "life is for living"(topgun)
Makes you realise what is important in life.I had plans to go part time at 60 then 2-3 years later retire.This will now hopefully be brought forward
Does make you take stock of your life.Now determined NOT to put things off to do the things we want the things we enjoy.To make the most of our lives.

User

Posted 20 Oct 2015 at 21:00

And Pete with all those interests you will probably wonder how you had time for work :-)

User

Posted 20 Oct 2015 at 22:17

I just love this question, it's true that for many, a life threatening illness causes a major reevaluation of life.

In our case, we have been incredibly lucky, we have seen our two girls marry adorable men and had wonderful experiences celebrating those huge life occasions, a year old granddaughter, much more time spent with each other and our off Spring, very little moaning or nit picking in our house. John has finally made a big step forward with his model railway, I'm enjoying my hobbies, even though I'm still working full time. We are lucky, I am able to work from home, so can spend every day wi my darling man. In fact, we are very happy. Yes, PCA casts a long shadow but if you can put it to one side, life can still be wonderful. I think the difference is that I have slowed down and started smelling the roses. John has slowed down (HT of course) and occasionally picks me roses from the garden.

Life is good.

Love Allison

User

Posted 20 Oct 2015 at 23:12

Doing this has also driven home the fact that our "baby" will be off to university in September 2016 so we're making the most of the next year together, I'm sure it will be gone in a flash!

We're still laughing! 😂😂😂

Maureen

"You're braver than you believe, stronger than you seem and smarter than you think." A A Milne

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