Sorry to read that you are struggling to come to terms with your current situation Roger.
Depression for something like this may be addressed by looking at this from A N Other's point of view? This is not meant glibly, as seeing things differently has got me through to where I can deal with my odd leakage.
Some men are not around any more to leak. Other men have implants and kit fitted. Some are leaking more than 30g a day. Others may be grateful to be only leaking 30g a day. Some men have the odd "tired squirt at the end of the day or when forgetting to tense when lifting something really heavy, or exerting (this is me). Some men are dry, lucky them.
I gave up on the PFEs as they wore me out and seemed to make no difference to my regaining control. If they do not appear to be working for you, you could give them a rest and see how that goes?
Beer or Lager, fizzy drinks do not seem to affect my control. Any liquid leaks when I am tired, busy doing a lot of manual work at the moment, there is less of an issue if I am doing desk work. If I leak it is usually around 6pm, so I stop working, and mostly can prevent it.
Do you make a note of when and why you leak, as Lyn asks above, is it when you are tired, or exerting?
Do you wear boxers or briefs? I have found that snug briefs work as an adequate control easier for me, used to wear boxers. The support that briefs give is enough to help me stay dry, until the evening and I get tired, and even then not every evening is an issue. If you are wearing briefs, have you considered tighter ones?