Need just a little hope

User

Posted 15 Dec 2015 at 22:14

I really don't know how to cope with this. I am appearing positive for my dad but inside my mind is racing and dad is all that I can think about. Feeling pretty desperate actually and am looking for any smidgen of comfort to cling to but unable to find any. I spend lots of time online hoping to read something positive but I wish I had never started that as I don't think that has helped me at all. Dad was diagnosed with advanced PCa with mets in August. He responded quickly to monthly injections of ?degaxin and his psa level dropped from 200 plus to less than 1. On his latest blood test however his psa had risen to 24. As a result scans are all to be done again in Jan and he has a leaflet home with information re. ? Ezaltamide. This was yesterday and as a result I went to work today on no sleep whatsoever. I was just beginning to relax into a new normal following the shock of the August diagnosis and now feel back to square 1 and feel absolutely terrified again. Felt dreadful at work today and don't know how I can function for long feeling like this. I know I am not the only one. My older brother died in an accident some years ago and only feel like we were beginning to recover from that. I wish he was here now as I feel so alone. Are things really as bleak as they seem ? Thank you for reading a rambling post.

User

Posted 16 Dec 2015 at 06:13

morning qwetry
lets start with a BIG HUG, you have had alot to deal with in a short period of time, do you have any other family or close friends you can turn to, what is your local GP like for talking to or better still pop into the local Macmillan offic always someone their to offer help and advise

regards Ezaltamide not something I know anything about, but dont worry others will be along with advice on it and more support

take it from me your dad will be proud of you, but if you do not go and get the help which is available for you then it is going to make you unwell, and no matter how hard you think that you are hiding it us dads will know, daughters and dads are like mams and sons joined at the hip

look after yourself as much as you are trying to look after dad

regards
nidge

run long and prosper

'pooh how do you spell love'

'piglet you dont spell love -you just feel it'

User

Posted 16 Dec 2015 at 08:07

Hello Qwerty
The first few months are always bad and I feel for your desperation.

I have some experience with enzalutamide as I've now been taking it for 12 months. I was diagnosed in December and started treatment in January. I started with a psa of 234 and the Ht plus enzalutamide brought it down very quickly to 0.03 where it has stayed. I've another meeting in January with my oncologist.
So enzalutamide seems a good drug. I've few side effects and carry on with my life a near normal.

Your dad is fortunate to have you supporting him But I agree with Nidge that it might benefit to talk to maybe the nurse on this site and the other ladies here who I'm sure will be replying to you post very shortly.

Paul

User

Posted 16 Dec 2015 at 09:30

Morning qwerty2nd.

You are understandably down in the dumps and stressed. Please approach your GP and ask for help. This disease puts a strain on all of us, not just the person suffering from it.

There are a number of men on here with experience of Enza and I am sure they will come along and add to Paul's positive post.

Please don't despair. Try and keep positive for your dad. I don't mean all singing and dancing either - just calm and supportive. I know that won't be easy because your insides are doing somersaults I expect but with a request to your GP for short term help I'm sure you'll do it.

Keep coming back to us. You know we want to offer our support at such a tough time.

We can't control the winds - but we can adjust our sails

User

Posted 16 Dec 2015 at 22:52

Thank you for your replies, they are appreciated. It is good to be able to speak how we feel here and I feel a little calmer today. Healey - I hope you continue to do well on enzultamide.

User

Posted 17 Dec 2015 at 18:14

Hi Qwerty, sorry that you are having to be here on this site but if there is anywhere that will help and reassure then it is here so welcome.

I have no experience of the drugs that your dad is possibly due to have but rest assured that all the medics involved will do their best for him. These days the treatment is changing all the time and where there was no hope there is a whole raft of options now.

Please do not feel alone, you sound like the perfect daughter and your dad must be proud of you. Talk with him about his treatment and go with him to the appointments, take a note book and ask questions so that you are as informed as you can be.

Do not give up hope, ever, use this site to get information usually direct from those that have gone through it themselves.

Take care of yourself as well as your dad. He needs you to be strong and you need him to look after.

Stay positive, regards Chris/Woody

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