Prostrate operation

Hello ~John and welcome

You don't give any details of Gleason or PSA but then you're not asking for advice re other treatments but, like Lyn, I do wonder whether you have investigated any other treatments?

Nothing at all selfish about wanting to continue the intimacy that you share. If you have to go the surgery route and have the nerves removed, the intimacy you now have will change but it won't be lost.

My husband was PSA 6.9 just before treatment and Gleason 3+4=7. The lower the figure first the better it is. Had it been 4+3 it would have been a little more serious and the options may have been different.

My 70+ husband had also had a hip replaced and he opted for Low dose permanent seed brachytherapy. I don't advocate any particular treatment path - that is for the individual to decide. All I can say is this one suited us. Even at our ages we still have our intimacy and although it wouldn't be too traumatic if we lost that at this stage of our lives, we can still share it.

Have you downloaded the Toolkit from this site's publications page. It gives lots of information regarding treatment etc.

You say you have been told surgery is the better options for you. I take it this was said to you by a surgeon?

The cancer being down the outside of both sides of the prostate means that he is saying it has broken out of the capsule? Am I understanding that that correctly ?Just want to get that bit straight.

Just because you have been booked in for surgery in January doesn't mean that you definitely have to go through with it on that date.
Make sure you have checked all your options before you commit to it. If it really is the only route open to you then you have no choice but at least if you have ruled out all other options you'll know you did your best to choose the right one for you.

I'm not saying it is the case for you, but sometimes surgeons only seem to suggest surgery and likewise oncologists only recommend their way of doing it.

Have you asked at all about the permanent seed brachytherapy?

Just be sure you are deciding on the basis of all the info currently available to you. We have to live with the outcome for the rest of our lives and we have to be happy to live with results and with no regrets.

If it has to be surgery, well Lyn and others with experience will be able to offer practical advice, there are a number of men on here in that position.

We wives are very supportive of our men. We love them no matter what this disease does to us and our relationships. It isn't our man's fault that PCa has decided to take away parts of our lives that we thought we would have until we are too old to worry about them!! In any case, there's more than one way to skin a cat !!

Good luck and best wishes in whatever you choose to do.

Edited by member 20 Dec 2015 at 21:03  | Reason: Not specified

John,

you appear here apparently having made your treatment choice? We all hope that you have done all the research that we would have done prior to doing so, we who are in the know now, would have done, with hindsight.

Your op is due in 9 days but until you go under the anaesthetic you can still change your mind.

Maybe you might like to give the details of your diagnosis and staging thus far? Give all the information you have and people here will give a view on where you are and what you mighty have as options?

Nobody here or elsewhere should tell you what to do or persuade you what to do, they will not have to live, or die prematurely, from the consequences. And those here who have undergone treatment and suffered or survived, maybe excelled, that does not necessarily mean that you will either suffer, survive or excel. Everyman recovers in their own individual way.

There will be some who will say "Oh, my partner had this and he regrets this bitterly now cos he needed extra "blah" treatment, curses the day he made that choice, FFS what was he thinking off, what a muppet, etc etc? But they don't know what the result may have been had they gone on a different course.

There is no CLEAR winner in the treatment stakes. Read this again. THERE IS NO CLEAR WINNER IN THE TREATMENT STAKES!!! IF, there was, all the others would have been discontinued by the NHS. Simply a fact of life, and economy.

I would suggest to you that if anyone attempts to guide you to a particular treatment, ignore them. As in feedback you ignore the top 10% and the bottom 10%. Similarly ignore the most vehement and the least enthusiastic suggestions.

BUT, above all read well, research thoroughly, and then make YOUR decision, AND go for it wholeheartedly, 100%.

There are no second chances mate. No looking back and reconsidering.

at

dave

Hi Dave
In hindsight I think my consultant guided me towards the prostrate removal because of the cancer been down both sides but not broken through ,and because I had ,had both hips replaced there was limits to the amount of radio therapy I could have,I would have gone for brachytherapy as a preferred option.

Defo consider other options. If you need more time to do so then postpone the op ........ very very unlikely it will make much difference re. spread of cancer with your prognosis.

So important to make sure that YOU are happy with any treatment you are given and that you remain in control.

Take good care and try and relax and enjoy your Christmas.

dl

Hi John I had no control at first but it has returned slowly at first , sure yours will in time. I used to go on walks and just fill the pads , take your time and do not over do it , Andy

Probably like the rest of us you knew that this could happen but the reality of losing control of something so basic can be hard to come to terms with.

Everyone is different but hopefully things will improve gradually.

Personally because I felt so well after the RALP but had the continence issue I have only had that to deal with and I really thought that it would be permanent. All I did was accept where I was but carried on with exercises and went about my day as normally as possible but accepting that I was now wearing pads and needed to be aware of available toilet facilities.

The lightbulb moment was realising that the various continence products were not an imposition but a means of dealing with a problem. Bit by bit things got better and although still not perfect it is not restricting me and I know that eventually I will get there.

Stick with it. Your body has been throuhh a major trauma and it needs time to recover and re-educate itself.

Kevan

John

Like Kevan I have used the external catheter and the good news, it is a life changer, the bad news is your consultant or incontinence nurse may not prescribe it at this early stage. Many urologist think it hampers recovery post RP, another down side us the do stick very well to the penis and even with a release spray you may start pulling and stretching the foreskin( assuming you have one).

I was lucky to regain my continence very soon after RARP but lost it 18 months later following a series of operations to the urethra. I was leaking upto 200 ml a day occasionally 170 ml in one go. After three months, almost overnight it has dropped to no more than 10 ml a day and I think it is still improving.

I was a big fan of PFEs, even used an app on my phone as an aid doing them. Following a post about the value of doing PFEs I stopped doing them but my continence has still improved, my incontinence nurse disapproves and said research shows they are beneficial.

Thanks Chris

Edited by member 12 Feb 2016 at 13:30  | Reason: Not specified