Pretty certain my dad has prostate cancer. But I am really confused - Being diagnosed with prostate cancer

User

Posted 06 Jan 2016 at 23:44

Hi there,

I'm 21, my dad is 62. I've had a bit of a shock after the new year. My dad went to the pub last Friday night. He found he had an urge to urinate but was unable too. In a lot of pain (because his bladder was full) my mum rung the out of hours and he was taken to hospital to have his bladder emptied and investigated. He's had no symptoms or pain before this. He's now had a catheter fitted and given medication to relax the muscles and he's been okay since. He looks and says he feels fine physically, emotionally he's very stressed. He had a blood test and a glove finger examination in the hospital. The doctor said his prostate felt hard and lumpy and therefore he suspected prostate cancer but didn't rule other possible causes out. The blood test came back with a PSA of 165. I am confused by this. What does this mean? I know it means cancer is highly likely, that I am prepared for. But does it mean the cancer is advanced? Or does it mean it's fast growing. Without the biopsy is there anything we can tell from this? GP still hopes it could be non-cancerous but says it's highly likely it's cancer. He's been given an urgent referral and will receive an appointment time in the next week or so and only then will a biopsy be carried out and we'll know for sure. But I am desperate to know what others might suspect my dads prognosis might be based on his PSA and the blockage of his urethra. Of course you won't know for sure, but does anyone have any idea based on experience how bad it could be for my dad?

Many Thanks

Richard

User

Posted 07 Jan 2016 at 01:51

Hi Richard,
I think the GP has already prepared your dad for the fact that he probably has cancer - the PSA and knobbly gland are a bit of a give away. But can you tell how bad it is from the PSA? No!

For a man of your dad's age, anything from about 3.5 - 4 would be considered high but we have had men here diagnosed with as high as 12,000. Generally, they assume that the higher he number, the more likely that it has spread but a PSA of 165 is by no means definite - some men with a PSA like your dad's will have a clear MRI and bone scan and be offered curative treatment. Sadly, there are some men with a very low PSA but it is already spread through their bodies.

I think we did have a member whose PSA test was over 100 who tested negative for cancer but that would be extremely unusual.

The PSA can be a good indicator of whether further tests are needed but not a good indicator of how advanced or early it might be. You will need to develop your patience skills and not assume the worst :-)

"Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards." Soren Kierkegaard

User

Posted 07 Jan 2016 at 05:56

hi richard
like lynne says its a waiting game at the moment, when your dad goes for his biopsy you will not get the results straight away it will be at least another week same goes for the scans
make notes of everything you are told, ask for copies of test results, but first and foremost give dad and mam all the support you have if you want ask dad if you can attend his hospital visit, when I first went had wife brother and daughter with me, its good for support and also they had questions to ask, nobody can prepare you for what may or may not happen
you may wish to read a post on here from trevol it just shows that the PSA test is flawed and in my opinion only a guideline

regards
nidge

run long and prosper

'pooh how do you spell love'

'piglet you dont spell love -you just feel it'

User

Posted 07 Jan 2016 at 09:18

Hello Richard and sorry you find yourself here for obvious reasons.

Try not to panic, especially if your dad is already stressed as it will only make it worse for both of you.

The word cancer raises horrible thoughts but until you know exactly what's what try and stay calm.

On this site there is The Toolkit, available from publications or by ringing one of the nurses and requesting a copy.

It has lots of relevant information in it which you may well find helpful once the results are in.

Best Wishes

Sandra

Edited by member 07 Jan 2016 at 12:07 | Reason: Not specified

We can't control the winds - but we can adjust our sails

User

Posted 07 Jan 2016 at 12:01

Richard

I can only agree with what others have said, I would add one other thing try not to anticipate anything and stay away from internet searches. They are very generic and often cause so much unnecessary fear.

Your Dad might appreciate some company and support at his referral and that might mean asking your Mum to go with him. It is always really helpful to have someone to make some notes and jot down any questions that come to mind. Your Dad might forget or simply just not take in all the information at the first referral or subsequent visits for tests etc.

You sound like you are very close to your Dad so he may want to involve you as well but of course that has to be his decision, if you talk to him and maybe your Mum too about what has been said here, or share with them the availability of the tool kit etc. Then that is a way to show you care and want to be involved.

The next month or so is going to be quite a challenge for you, so as others have already said try to be patient and appear calm as that will be a great way of supporting youd Dad and Mum.

Best wishes

User

Posted 28 Jan 2016 at 22:04

Hi Richard

I'm 26 and I found out a couple of weeks back that my Dad (59 years old) has prostate cancer. Although I know as you said you don't know for sure whether it's cancer or not it's still a worry, don't feel alone mate. Sadly There's loads of us out there. If you want to chat mate don't hesitate to message me.

I know how it is.

Simon

User

Posted 28 Jan 2016 at 22:40

Hello Simon and welcome.

Do you have any of your dads statistics as it helps if you want future advice. You say in your profile "mildly aggressive" but that doesn't tell us much.
What treatment is he having, his PSA and Gleason scores.

I realise you haven't asked for help (in fact - good for you to offer it to somebody else) but being supportive to and of each other is really what we are all about so never feel alone.
Richard has already discovered that following his first post.

You'll have read about the Toolkit available from publications. It might be a good idea to download or get a copy from publications for future questions you or your dad might want to ask at the next meeting.

There is usually somebody around with a listening ear.

Best Wishes

Sandra

We can't control the winds - but we can adjust our sails

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Pretty certain my dad has prostate cancer. But I am really confused - diagnosis

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