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Concerns for my Dad

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User
Posted 01 Feb 2016 at 13:46

My dad was diagnosed with metastatic prostate cancer in November 2013, he has been having hormone injections ever since. Since Christmas he has declined very rapidly to the point he has now been catheterised as he has lost the ability to go himself.  He is very confused most days and can now no longer drive or do very much at all.  I feel that we are maybe coming to an end and have a Macmillan nurse visiting this week. Has anyone else had any experiences of this? 

User
Posted 01 Feb 2016 at 21:01
Jules
I am sorry for the deterioration in your Dad, you haven't given very much information on which to give you any real support or to attempt to answer your primary question. So a little more detail would help. You say your Dad was diagnosed over 2 years ago, has HT been his only treatment?

You have not told us his age but I am guessing from your profile he is probably 70+ although that doesn't necessarily make any significant difference to what is happening right now.

Does your Dad live on his own and is he at home just now, If so who is providing catheter management and care?

Was he actually wanting to pee but couldn't or did he lose the sensation of wanting to pee ? Is he still mobile and able to pass his stools OK?

The confusion could be due to infection, it sounds as though your Dad was retaining urine and that often leads to a urinary infection either in the bladder or somewhere further down the Urinary tract.

The Macmillan nurse should be able to provide answers and also to help formulate a plan for what happens with your Dad next. Things may not be as bad as you fear.

My Husband sadly died of metastatic PCa in june 2014 so I have some experience of palliative and end of life care. I also work as a rehabilitation voluteer in our local hospice.

I am here if you need someone to try and give you some support.

My best wishes
xx
Mo
User
Posted 01 Feb 2016 at 15:27

Hello Jules and welcome.


There are many on here with metastastic prostate cancer and I am sure somebody will be along to advise you.


If you could provide any scores,ie Gleason,PSA where the spread is etc, it would help that advice be given.


How old is your dad by the way. When you say he has declined (apart from the ability to pee properly) is there other physical decline or do you mean in his mind as well, because sometimes the sheer tiredness of coping with PC and the treatment can affect a persons way of coping.


I see that you are also taking care of 4 children by yourself so things must be a big strain on you at the moment, so please try and take time to look after yourself too as both dad and the children need you.


 


 

We can't control the winds - but we can adjust our sails
User
Posted 02 Feb 2016 at 13:45
Julie

Although my estranged father died of metastatic prostate cancer I have no first hand knowledge of it. Have you phoned the specialist nurses on this site, they will be to answer any questions you have. I am sure some knowledgeable members will be along soon to help. Might also be useful to give details of what treatment you dad may have had.

You sound like have alot of people to look after but remember to look after yourself.

Thanks Chris
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User
Posted 01 Feb 2016 at 15:27

Hello Jules and welcome.


There are many on here with metastastic prostate cancer and I am sure somebody will be along to advise you.


If you could provide any scores,ie Gleason,PSA where the spread is etc, it would help that advice be given.


How old is your dad by the way. When you say he has declined (apart from the ability to pee properly) is there other physical decline or do you mean in his mind as well, because sometimes the sheer tiredness of coping with PC and the treatment can affect a persons way of coping.


I see that you are also taking care of 4 children by yourself so things must be a big strain on you at the moment, so please try and take time to look after yourself too as both dad and the children need you.


 


 

We can't control the winds - but we can adjust our sails
User
Posted 01 Feb 2016 at 20:37

Is there anyone else here that can advise Jules please. I have no knowledge of metastatic disease

We can't control the winds - but we can adjust our sails
User
Posted 01 Feb 2016 at 21:01
Jules
I am sorry for the deterioration in your Dad, you haven't given very much information on which to give you any real support or to attempt to answer your primary question. So a little more detail would help. You say your Dad was diagnosed over 2 years ago, has HT been his only treatment?

You have not told us his age but I am guessing from your profile he is probably 70+ although that doesn't necessarily make any significant difference to what is happening right now.

Does your Dad live on his own and is he at home just now, If so who is providing catheter management and care?

Was he actually wanting to pee but couldn't or did he lose the sensation of wanting to pee ? Is he still mobile and able to pass his stools OK?

The confusion could be due to infection, it sounds as though your Dad was retaining urine and that often leads to a urinary infection either in the bladder or somewhere further down the Urinary tract.

The Macmillan nurse should be able to provide answers and also to help formulate a plan for what happens with your Dad next. Things may not be as bad as you fear.

My Husband sadly died of metastatic PCa in june 2014 so I have some experience of palliative and end of life care. I also work as a rehabilitation voluteer in our local hospice.

I am here if you need someone to try and give you some support.

My best wishes
xx
Mo
User
Posted 02 Feb 2016 at 11:58

Hi,


 


My Dad is 81, he is living with me at the moment. His PSA level is 37, was as low as 0.01 and is gleason score is 7-8. He can no longer do much for himself and is very unsteady on his feet. The decline has been rapid, over the last 4 weeks. I have a Macmillan nurse coming in on Thursday and the district nurses are coming in once a week. I manage his catheter as he can not manage himself.


 


Julie

User
Posted 02 Feb 2016 at 13:45
Julie

Although my estranged father died of metastatic prostate cancer I have no first hand knowledge of it. Have you phoned the specialist nurses on this site, they will be to answer any questions you have. I am sure some knowledgeable members will be along soon to help. Might also be useful to give details of what treatment you dad may have had.

You sound like have alot of people to look after but remember to look after yourself.

Thanks Chris
User
Posted 02 Feb 2016 at 20:33
Jules
Hi again
its fair to say that the sudden and rather rapid decline in your Dad's health is not unusual at all if his cancer is active, his treatments aren't working so well and he has urinary issues.

It would be really wrong for me or anyone to try and speculate what is happening other than to say this all sounds familiar. I know the Macmillan Nurse will be able to give you a really good assessment of what is happening and what might be the best course of action going forward. If you are caring for your Dad, and it sounds like you have been for a while, then if you are not already receiving finanical or any other help, please make sure you ask the Macmillan nurse about this.
Depending on where you live there may be a hospice at home as well as the district nurse who can call in and provide catheter care as well as provide any other things that might make him much more comfortable at home.

If he is unsteady on his legs then make sure he is provided with either walking sticks or a frame to help him. He may need a special matreess on his bed or an air cushion for his armchair.

One of the things you might need to consider is having a chat with your Dad about what he wants to do going forward (maybe with the help of the Nurse when they come)

Most important of all from my point of view now is that you think about yourself and your children, how much can you do and how much help can you get to keep your Dad comfortable without jeopardising your own health and wellbeing ?

my very best wishes
xx
Mo

Edited by member 02 Feb 2016 at 20:35  | Reason: Not specified

 
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