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a son worried about his father

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User

Posted 04 Feb 2016 at 14:28

Hello to you all, basically I'm on here due to my father, who is going in to have his prostate removed next week due to cancer, thankfully which hasn't spread. He's 68, in good health but has had cancer in the past, and like other men with the same condition it's getting to him with the waiting for the operation, the blood tests, meetings etc. I'm 38 myself, and decided to have a PSA test (of which I get the results tomorrow), I'm worried about my dad, like my mum said it's the first thing you think about when you wake up and it's the last thing you think about when you go to bed, I'm a worryguts myself so that doesn't help!

Just wanted to say hello and hear other peoples experiences with Prostate Cancer. You can go online and do all the research using 'Doctor Google' as I like to call it but there's nothing like talking to other people about the subject. My Dad doesn't do modern technology so he won't come on here himself, but it'll be nice to chat to other people, and I can relay to him what's said.

Thanks

Marc

User

Posted 04 Feb 2016 at 15:17

Hi marc
What operation is dad having this will help as others who have had the same will be able to post info

Dr google is not a good place for info
You also have the extra worry on your results this happens with everybody the waiting is the worst

Its natural to be worried about dad and i think once you get more info from folks on here it will help

Dont forget to get the toolkit off this site

Regrds
Nidge

run long and prosper
'pooh how do you spell love'
'piglet you dont spell love -you just feel it'

User

Posted 04 Feb 2016 at 15:57

Thanks for the reply, all I know is that he is having his prostate removed by keyhole surgery, he will have 6 holes I believe, and will have to inject himself after the operation, along with a bag for the waste for a while. He hasn't said a great deal about it so I don't know much about the operation, I do know that he can't have chemotherapy due to having it in the past, but I'll see if I can get any more information out of him. He had the kit come in the post after I nagged him into ringing the nurses for more information, and he's pleased with the pack as there's a lot of useful stuff in there, I've started a direct debit donation to say thanks.

I'm not worried about myself in all honesty, I don't have issues that would lead me to think that anything was untoward, but I asked my doctor a few years ago about when to start getting it checked out, and he said when I hit 40, but glad I went for the test now. On top of all this my Uncle has found out he has an enlarged prostate and is currently going for more tests, it never rains and all that!

Thanks

User

Posted 04 Feb 2016 at 17:38

Hello Nozza and welcome to the site.

There is a lot of useful information on here, all personal because the people responding will have knowledge or experience of what they post.
Doctor Google on the other hand is full of information that is not necessarily relevant to you or your dad and may therefore scare you.

As far as your own PSA test goes, if nothing else it will give a base line for the future so hopefully you will not be in the situation where PC will creep up on you.

Anyway, I'm sure lots of information will be coming your way soon

We can't control the winds - but we can adjust our sails

User

Posted 04 Feb 2016 at 18:31

thanks everyone for the replies, I really appreciate it. I want to get a better understanding of PC for myself and my Dad, and this seems like a great place to start.

User

Posted 04 Feb 2016 at 21:17

Hi Nozza
I am happy to share my experience of the keyhole surgery but I do not have all of the technical expertise of many on this site.
On the day of the op a nurse explained what would happen and went through afew formalities. Was asked to undress and put on gown and surgical stockings. The anaesthetist then came in and asked more questions before describing what would happen in theatre. The surgeon then popped in to make sure that I was ok and to see if I had any further questions. I was then walked to theatre and prepared for the op and they did exactly what theu said they would. Came round in recovery feeling very comfortable at about mid-day and was then moved to a ward. I had a catheter inserted with a pipe draining the urine into a bag hooked onto the bed frame and a drip in the back of my hand. Had a sandwich and couple of glasses of water. By 3 p.m. was happily out of bed and walking around the ward with urine bag hooked onto the portable drip frame. Was kept topped up with pain relief and remained very comfortable over night. Following day dressings were changed, walking around, eating and drinking plenty (3 litres per day)
They gave the first of the injections you mentioned and showed me how to do it. They should have showed your dad a video of this during his pre-op, but it is very straigjtforward and if you pinch an inch of flesh it is painless.
The catheter causes no problem but just use sensible hygiene precautions.
I had hugely swollen purple testicles which were uncomfortable but not painful. There was hardly any bruising and no pain from the six entry wounds.
My brother suffered a lot of bruising anda lot of pain during the first three days as a result of the gas used to create ooperating space and as this gas rises towards the shoulders it can be painful and affect you ability to breath easily. I had none of this.
My biggest concern post op was to avoid straining the bowel and so did everything I could prior to the op and afterwards to keep things moving freely
My catheter was removed after 7 days and the clips on the wounds were removed at the same time. Plenty of incontinence pads (high volume) from Boots but initially used incontinence pants at night. Dad will probably experiment with what he feels comfortable wearing. After op just be sensible, let him rest when he needs to but also move around and exercise and bit by bit hopefully things will improve.
I would suggest that a family member is around at the hospital on discharge to ensure that someone besides Dad understands what he is being told

I hope that all goes well for him.

Kevan

User

Posted 04 Feb 2016 at 21:53

Hi Nozza, welcome to this site, it is by far the best site to go to for "proper"information with help and support from all on here.

I have not gone through what your father is about to but know that he will be in good hands with his treatment and if you read as much as you can from the toolkit so that you are as informed as you can be then you will be in a better position to help your dad.

If you understand the treatment plan then you will be able to reassure him as and when his treatment happens, if you can try and go with him when he has appointments or at least get your mother to go with him so that she can relate what has been said rather than rely on your dads version as he may use poetic licence to only tell you what he wants you to know.

Kevin's personal treatment has explained what and how your dads operation will go so that is helpful to you all.

Keep posting on here with any questions no matter how small you may think they are someone will be able to help.

I hope your results are good and very wise to start getting tested.

Best wishes, Chris/Woody

Life seems different upside down, take another viewpoint

User

Posted 06 Feb 2016 at 08:38

Thanks everyone for the replies, my Mum has gone to every appointment with Dad so far, on the day my mum is going up with dad to the hospital (Guy's Hospital, London Bridge), then I'll pick up dad when he's ready to come out of hospital, my mum will come as well. I had my results back yesterday, 2.4 was my PSA level which I was told was perfectly normal, the Doctor wants me tested in a years time though, my cholesterol is high as well.

Thanks again everyone, will keep you all posted on here. He just wants it over and done with now, don't blame him really!

Cheers

Marc

User

Posted 07 Feb 2016 at 09:12

Hi Marc, good news with your own PSA result it must take a weight off your mind given everything else that is going on.

I hope all goes well with your dads op, one point is to get your mum to take a note pad with her when she goes with your dad and write down the relevant bits of information as it is so easy to forget or misinterpret some bits, also if you have any questions that need asking then jot them down so they will not be forgotten.

Best wishes to you all, Chris/Woody

Life seems different upside down, take another viewpoint

User

Posted 07 Feb 2016 at 21:12

Thanks Chris for the reply, that's a good point about Mum taking a notepad for making notes, I will mention it to her during the week. Will of course be on here for updates.

User

Posted 07 Feb 2016 at 23:05

From what I have read 'Guys' is well regarded for surgical removal of the Prostate.

As regards yourself, you will be aware that your risk of getting PCa is higher because of it being diagnosed in your father. In your situation I would consider getting PSA checked every three/four years and more frequently as you become older, or as soon as you experience any of the PCa symptoms. A raised PSA does not necessarily indicate cancer, as there are other possible causes, an enlarged Prostate (BPH) or urinary infection being just two of them.

Barry

User

Posted 07 Feb 2016 at 23:23

Strictly speaking, research says that the risk is increased only if the father, brother or other close male relative had early onset prostate cancer - based on the premise that 70% of men in their 70s have this disease, that would implicate ALL of their male relatives and we would quickly get to 100% of all men - which is obviously not right.

Having said that Nozza, your PSA is right at the top end of normal for your age so I think the doctor's advice of retesting annually is very wise. Might be worth seeing what dad's urologist thinks about it (if you get the chance to ask)

"Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards." Soren Kierkegaard

User

Posted 09 Feb 2016 at 08:09

I'm going to the Hospital on the friday to see Dad, so I will try and ask the Urologist then if I see them at all. I am worried about the level being high as the Doctor said it was perfectly normal but I will nag him to be tested every year and keep an eye on it.

User

Posted 13 Feb 2016 at 08:44

Dad had his operation which went well, is hopefully coming out today, all being well.

User

Posted 13 Feb 2016 at 10:55

Hi Nozza glad things went well for your dad, please keep us updated on his progress and ask away if you have any questions, I am sure they will be answered for you.

Best wishes, Chris/Woody

Life seems different upside down, take another viewpoint

User

Posted 13 Feb 2016 at 11:49

So pleased all is well so far Nozza.

I hope it continues to do so. All the best for dad's speedy recovery from the op.

Sandra

We can't control the winds - but we can adjust our sails

User

Posted 13 Feb 2016 at 12:35

Nozza

Just to remind you what Kevan said in his earlier post no straining to pass that first motion. Hope all goes well.

Thanks Chris

User

Posted 13 Feb 2016 at 13:21

Nozza

Can hear the relief that you are feeling. That's the first bit over so onwards and upwards but as everyone has said, make sure that Dad takes time with his recovery as he may forget that this is pretty major surgery.
Keep us posted.

Kevan

User

Posted 16 Feb 2016 at 16:40

Thanks all for the kind words, Dad is doing well at home, sometimes has a bit of discomfort but I suppose that's to be expected. Bowel movements have been passed successfully, he was well chuffed!

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